new beginning

Important update,

Toad is very very very drunk

Toad

Hi folks,

Well I did my wages in and overtime £1700.00

In the bar getting drunk. I have to tell the wife. I am in hell right now.

Toad

Toad,

Get home
Get sober
Be truthful
Get help

gambler.toad wrote: Thanks sbisstopping, Gambling is destroying my mental health. I am really fed up tonight. Fed up to the back teeth. Not a happy man. Toad.

It will destroy you 100% if you let it toad ,try stay out them bookies m8 .If you are a fobt addict like me ,no matter what else you go in for ,even a quid on the lotto ,they will always catch ur eye ,they are an ever screaming presence in the corner demanding to be fed. Stay strong!!! and GL

a

Toad.

Fella I have taken so much from your thread recently I am compelled to try and give something back.

Your thread would mirror my own gambling life had I started writing it whilst still in the depths of addiction.

Many things stand out.

You write about your relationship with your wife like it's a business transaction, you talked about wiring money like she was a debtor.

Do you not share your finances with her?

No joint account?

I lived my gambling life with this mantra

What's mine is mine to gamble, what's yours is mine to gamble too.

Marriage is a bond, today I fully commit to it, those vows I took bare great meaning.

They are no longer about exploiting what's best for me, they are about what's best for us.

Progressively I gambled more of my income, eventually I gambled my wife's to boot.

I took leave from work, why?

To enjoy my wife's company?

No to intercept the mail, the postman became my nemesis.

I lived a life founded upon one lie after the other.

I was fully committed to gambling

All in.

The return?

Free money? New found wealth? Happiness?

Decline was the the outcome, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially.

That's the path ahead.

Please don't take it.

Cut the cr#ap,stop spinning your words

There's a wealth of help out there,take it,conmit wholly to recovery.

By taking limited amounts of cash to work doesn't green light the next days activity

It should simply show you the true value of your hard earned.

I have walked in your shoes fella, in fact I wore through them.

Life will be uncomprehendably better if it accepts recovery.

The money lost is gone, further money will go the same way if you can't find acceptance.

I wish you well.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hello Duncan,

I came home last night and I was very drunk. I went upstairs and thought of ending it all. I took my belt of but was confused how to do it. My god did i really think of that last night.

I am here in a dark place. Thankyou for your support all and Duncan. This will take time to get over. I havent told my wife yet.

I do love her. Should i close my bank account and let my wife take care of finances. My mental health is low.

Please give me strength.

I am sorry if my post was a bit scary aswell. I hope it doesn't upset anyone.

Toad.

Toad

Fella suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

The bottom line is that you need help, but that's a double edged sword because to find it you need to want it more than that next punt.

I know today you will have a huge internal battle waging in your mind.

The rational side all remorseful against addiction that will be requesting further funding.

It's brutal but worth dying for?

Fella I facilitated a wake this week for a boy who only got to see the world for a day

Sobering.

As for giving control of your financial life to your wife?

No brainer, with it be 100% honest.

The door to recovery stands in front of you

Only you can open it.

Please don't become another statistic of addiction.

Regards Duncs.

Hi All,

Day 1

I told my wife this morning. She was very upset.

I realise for the rest of my life my wife will manage all finances.

This has to stop now. This is day 1.

Going to self exclude from all bookies in work.

I feel numb today. Time does heel though. As Duncan said. If i don't stop I will have further losses.

Good luck everyone I hop e you don't go through what i am. Learn from my mistakes.

Toad.

Hi,

I feel bad writing that but i don't think i meant it in my heart. Life is precious and it is never the answer.

Toad.

I previously said goodbye to you but feel compelled to continue to offer support. Your diary is often flippant and sometimes silly but by being on here I assume that you want aupport and help. As always, I will be quite direct -

Tell us toad, what do you want to do? Do you want to start a journey of recovery or do you want to stop losing? Is this about you and your wife's happiness or is it about money? You also need to decide if you feel that this is your rock bottom- if you feel that you want even more pain then continue to do what you do.

I posted to you in September that I doubted your desire to stop, your posts since have primarily been about money and if brutally honest , you don't seem to have taken any of the advice given.

Having said that, It is sad to hear that you feel the way you do and you need to use this as the springboard to change. You are blessed with many things and you have to decide what are your priorities. I assure you Paul that you do have the solution within you - you just need to accept yourself and look at what you can do. I also think that you need to look beyond this forum for help - do you still have contact with your counsellor? Will you NOW take positive steps and take real action.

Talk to your wife

talk to your counsellor

self exclude

I assure you Paul that recovery is possible and the benefits are without boundary however, recovery is a privilege and comes with real effort and commitment.

I continue to wish you well and hope that you are able to look at yourself and fully commit to allowing Paul the opportunity to step out I Toads shadow and achieve recovery.

Scott

Paul, my previous post was written as you were updating us. Good to hear you have told your wife and committed to self exclusion.

All the best.

Thankyou sbisstopping,

I really appreciate your help and support.

I am committed fully now. On Monday i will get payroll to pay wages to Mrs and start self excluding.

Toad.

Paul , good things will come back into your life if you allow them and all you have to do is let them in !

I wish you well my friend and I'm glad youv'e made some good decisions.

All the best !

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Might be worth thinking about counselling again or maybe GA this time as well?

Hi Paul, I did say I wasn't going to write on your threads but here I am. I'm here because I truly want you to stop gambling, I want you to have a happy future gamble free life. The gambling is making you unhappy, it's messing with your head, it isn't making you rich is it? It's a horrible addiction. It is a good idea to hand over your finances to your wife. She is bound to be upset but if she can see you are truly serious about giving up that may show her you are serious. It is going to be hard for both of you moving on from this but as others have said it can be done. I do wish you well. - wcid