new beginning

Hello WCID,

I won't rest till every turfs is closed near work. After work today i am going to the largest turfs in the UK and Ireland. Biggest shop around. I will be self excluding after work.

Time permitting i hope to exclude from 3 turfs today.

PS i got told off in work. Last friday i stayed in turfs till half 10 then phoned for the day off. Did my money in then got drunk. Very sad really. I am still paying the price mentally.

That is why i self exclude. Then its counselor this Friday and GA next week.

I am on a mission to change.

Paul.

Hi All,

Just barred myself from 4 turfs. All photos gone. I will need some more photos to finish the mission.

So far so good. I wonder how much I may have saved by self-excluding. Alot i'd say.

Time to move forward. Tomorrow is day 4.

Paul.

Congratulations Paul , the right decision my friend , onwards and upwards buddy !

Well done Paul, a really positive step. Enjoy the time you will gain! Keep the focus and you will win!

Hello Alan and Sbisstopping,

You know I don't feel excited about what i did today. I just worry still. But i need 5 more photos for more turfs.

One of the clerks said to me it's good you did this before cheltenham.

One other point. Would it be wise to tell work about my gambling? I kinda think they might frown upon it. What do you think?

Paul.

Well Paul if you feel they need to know then go ahead but if they don't and depending on what you do for a living then there's prob no point if it's going to cause you more problems? Honesty is always good but only you know who needs to know ?

Hi Paul, I suppose you need to weigh up if telling work would help you? I think that recovery requires a degree of selfishness so you need to decide what benefit you will get out of telling them. As Alan says, only you will know who will offer support. I also think that somehow you need to try to make gambling not the centre of your universe, at home it will continue to hang in the air like a bad smell for some time and perhaps work can be your "safe" place - away from the stench of gambling?

You have made great strides today so do whatever you need to keep clear and clean.

Have a good tomorrow!

Thankyou Alan and Sbisstopping,

It's good to get advice from people like yourselves. I have to agree i'm going to keep it seperate from work.

Thankyou.
Paul

Morning,

Day 4

Tossed and turned in bed last night. I am getting 5 more photos tonight then tomorrow i self exclude from the last 5 turfs.

Still feeling terrible but if i can move forward and not spend a single pound in the turfs it's like a lesson learned . Some good to come outta bad.

As long as i don't run up bills. No loans, credit cards or payday loans.

Good luck everyone. The benefits of stopping are worth it.

Paul.

Hi Paul, "as long as I don't run up bills" - don't worry about the loans and credit cards, if you keep doing what you are doing then the money will take care of itself.

Just get those photos and self exclude mate.

Have a good day.

Hello Sbisstopping,

Good advice. I guess after 14 odd years worrying about debt it's hard to switch off.

Paul.

I'm 30 odd years juggling debt.through not beeing honest with hubby....trying to cope with bills etc on my own......which I now know how I came to fall into gambling about five years ago.....got a win...cleared all debts....but then got hooked...then gambling made fresh debts....now hubby knows everything....how I hid debts ...which were just the normal household expenses etc....then the gambling....now we are working together with our finances. ...open and honest....and it's wonderfull....ok...will take a while....but it's how it is...and for me the relief is amazing...not dreading the post...not scared to answer the phone....and most importantly. ...the debts will not get bigger because I'm not chucking money in a slot machine...hold tight Paul and I promise you it will get better x

Hello Loxxie,

Thanks for your support. It's so much better not hiding things. I want to quit gambling and no more lies.

The last lapse i had was devastating. But it was the kick up the backside i needed.

Paul.

You can do it Paul....you've just got to ""want to ""
Come join the fun....as your head starts to clear....it's amazing...xxx

Good morning,

Day 5,

I am very tired today but i travel to work armed with 5 new photos to self exclude.

I have spent ВЈ10 on 10 photographs. This may save me £1000's.

I feel uncomfortable about self excluding. One turfs cashier came out into the floor space and sat at a table together. She did seem very concerned which was nice but asked me did i lose much? Well i don't know how much over 14 years.

I definately want to leave this life behind. Yesterday i was early for my bus and i thought i'll pop into turfs but i couldn't as i banned myself. Which is great. Old habbits die hard.

I have no regrets by self excluding and today i continue self excliding from more turfs.

On the bus i forgot photos-damm. Tomorrow it is then.

Good luck everyone.
Paul.