New beginnings!

Hey Lucy,

100 days and counting I hope! Was wonderful to read you got to the big 100! I wrote to you not so long ago about how much you have supported my in my recovery! Having done the same for so many and remained focused and strong in your own recovery, you are a real role model for so many and an unquestionable asset to this forum!

I hope you will be posting for many many days to come and I hope the hangover has passed lol!

Flagg

Good evening all

Well a few days has passed since i reached 100 days bet free and i must say it has took me a little longer to get over, oh the rum was mighty good though lol

Back to work this week and a huge change, more staff started, new offices and more work thrown my way just because ' oh Lucy is great at analysis '!

Well before in stressful times at work i would have come home gambled and then got myself angry which ended up me taking out on staff, family and friends !

Today............. hey stress , so what, i'am bloody good at my job, my staff now like me, one asked for a meeting today and said she could not have asked me in the past as i would have been too harsh with the answer and she would have got upset, today i hope i was gentle in my responses and that she took on board my advice , the reason i mention this is because now i am bet FREE then all the stressors of life do not seem as bad as before, whereas when gambling it totally dominated my life and i just had no patience for anything else and was moody. angry, and downright miserable most of the time.

Now i can take that step back, think clearly, smile and just get on with life.

I much prefer this person to the one i became when on it, this person is happier , looking forward to the future even if a little scared and just wants to continue staying bet free so i can make sure i just enjoy my life.

Because....... it's the only one i have and i'm not going to throw anymore of it away again!

Keep Strong all

Smiling Lucy 😉 xxxxxx

Yayyyyyy, there you are! Was about to send out a search party.. "anyone seen that lady with the great, big smile on her face.. she's gone AWOL"!!!

Soooo glad to see you still smiling, still happy, still gamble free and that your staff are beginning to see the real you!!

Awesome buddy!! Soooo proud of you!

I'm doing good thanks.. albeit burning the candle a tad! Supposed to be going out again tonight but I just can't afford it and am running out of excuses!! Can't bring myself to tell anyone I blew all my money so they think I'm loaded! lol... I have to laugh!! You should hear some of the things I say to get out of these things... it's hilarious! Hoping they won't lose patience with me 😉

Anyway, buddy, really good to hear from you!

Keep smiling my friend xxxx

Hi Lucy, thanks for your post on mine.

Its absolutely mad how much gambling affects our personalities, and we're the ones who can't see it. Brilliant that your staff can see the change in you, thats a huge confidence boost.:) I know when I was at my worst there was no talking to me, I withdrew into myself and wouldn't let the venom out, which is not a good thing for me.

You have always had nothing but good and positive things to say to everyone on here, long may it continue, you are very highly thought of, and I reckon you'd be a brilliant boss 🙂

Keep posting

All the best

Cameron

Thanks 4 ur post lucy.

Great 2 hear your a lot happier and not taking it out on the staff anymore haha.

Your doing great mate

Hahaha.. I'm almost crying with laughter here! Reminds me of me flaunting my Michael Kors handbag and purse... but only cos I got them cheap from abroad!

God, when I think about all the designer stuff I could have instead of f*****g debts it makes me want to cry with pain! But I'm not going to.. cos we live and learn eh?

And you what?? We REALLY ARE doing this buddy!! xxxx

Mate, thanks for cracking me up! We're almost the same age.. both from London, probably would have been in the same year at school.. and share the same sense of humour... spooooooky!

Oh and we both try and persuade our cars they're something they're not!

Oh and I fancy myself as a bit of a singer too.. although there are even deaf people that would disagree with that!!! xxx

My dog actually covers his ears when I start singing and that is no word of a lie!! xx

Lucy, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your post on my diary, it was yours and other peoples diarys that i read in my first days on this forum that gave me hope and inspiration that i could do the same.

I just love reading your posts so much they really are food for the soul, Its like watching a flower grow into full bloom, and its great to see your confidence is shining through along with that beaming smile and open heart.

Carry on being lucy and you wont ever go wrong. That dream is yours for the taking.

Blondie day 50 xxxx

Your conversations are so funny and heart warming to read. The fact that you're enjoying getting this far and laughing at your regrets is priceless. A far better way of handling things and moving forward. Really glad you're doing so well. Steve, day 69, if not gambled would have had a wardrobe of size 11's Jimmy Choo's instead of a pair of 1970's Dunlop green flash (sigh)

Hi Lucy,

Hope alls good with you and that the sun is shining on you.

I noticed you'd slipped down to the bottom of page 2 and that kinda rang a wee alarm bell in my aged brain !! Lucy ? Page 2 ? no siree. So Im bumping you back up to where we can all see you.

Take care

Cameron 🙂

Good Morning World

15 Weeks today 😉

Still feeling really strong and focussed!

Very tired at moment and seems odd as never been a huge sleeper and since the start of my recovery really not slept well at all, also hungry and now i bought new clothes a bit reluctant to eat alot lol lol

Conclusion - Life is a little more settled and the body is telling me to rest, eat well and then this will make me continue to remain strong, so i'm not going to fight it but just go with the flow!

Update:

Ex stayed at mine last week to look after the cat but decided he was not going back to mum's as his house would be ready this week, getting very anx about his move on Sat and hoping all will go well.

So i am going to be extra vigilant at the moment as i know worrying can bring on some dark thoughts BUT i have none and will not let them enter even if they try their hardest because i WILL remain bet free and this time next week all will be calm and i will be happier than i have been in years and years and years!

I might even have to go out and celebrate!

How many more excuses can i find to do that lol lol , ohhhhhhhh i will have one each week as i continue to remain BET FREE and just enjoy being happy , bad singing, smiling Lucy!

So today Keep Strong all and enjoy the sun if it's with you whereever you are!

Smiling Lucy xxxx

Really well done on 15 weeks lucy your flying a day at a time.

Great to hear your sleeping well and eating well and enjoying a good drink once in a while haha.

Have a good day mate

HI Lucy,

Thanks for your post xx Who needs an excuse to go out..... Get out there and live girl, When my mum decided to put her house up for sale, (its been the family home for 40 years), she obviously had some worries and doubts, but she thought it through and decided that its just bricks and mortor, you cant sell your love or your memories, or how you feel... Money cant ever buy that, and she said "I dont want to look back in 5 years and say i wish i had done it, its time for me to move onto the next phase of my life"

I dont have any regrest about the choices i have made, they have shaped me into the person i will become.

What you have now and what you feel will just get better i can just feel it, your happiness just jumps out of the page.

I hope things go ok with the move and if those dark thoughts come just let happy lucy blow them to pieces....

Keep smileing lucy

xxxxx

Hey Lucy,

It's always wonderful to read your posts like Blondie said your energy jumps out of the page and is a real push for anyone reading it! It's an interesting way of writing and a talent because you seem so energetic yet your post mentions tiredness lol!

I wrote to Castle last week and I'll say a similar thing to you the tiredness is almost inevitable we are now living a fuller life, a real life and that is tiring! It's brilliant and a far cry from what we were but it's tiring! As a gambler life was easy in that we had one primary focus each day! I think gambling caused stresses, we lied a lot and we weren't particularly pleasant but as a day to day existence it was easy! Life is much better than that and I'd much rather be tired than losing everything money, people, self respect, the list is endless!

Let's keep living the slightly tougher daily existence which can bring us countless rewards rather than the easier option which brought us and our loved ones pure misery!

15 weeks on and your life just seems one with countless rewards and no misery what more incentive do you need to keep going! Oh mayb another night out to celebrate lol you are good at those 🙂

Keep that smile going its very contagious and very likeable!

Flagg