New Beginnings

Well, 10 days GF! I should feel happy, but my financial situation is so dire that I don't know what I’m going to do. Also my partner had a work meeting that I hoped would sort out some of his woes so I might talk to him, but it was an inconclusive meeting and now he feels worse and I feel even more of a fraud. Taking solace in the fact that I have some cash that I haven't gambled... 10 days is a start!

12 days GF and woke up really struggling. All lines of credit are closed to me - which is good - but I still don’t hve rent this month. And I know I should count myself lucky that I know I will get paid and I know that my situation is not as dire as some but this is exactly the point where I would try and win some money. Was going to talk to my partner, but bottled it. I know he can’t help, so why would I burden him?

Just want to add that I am also really angry at myself and need to find a way to channel this energy. There were so many times I could have prevented this. So many chances I’ve ruined.

Feeling a bit more positive this morning. Think I need to tell my partner though as I'm going to have to talk to the Landkord about rent, but I’m hoping that my determination, the blocks I’ve put up already and gamstop will make him feel better. I honestly don't know what his reaction will be, but I really don't want him to worry about me. He’s got enough to worry about. Hmmm, I’m talking myself out of it now!!

Anyways, a Saturday with a small temptation (parental blocks on the Internet work well though! Which made me smile....) but I kept myself busy and am pleased with how much more present I am when not obsessed with scores, or with latest gains/losses. I'm taking SoSad's approach and looking forward to a cleArbank statement 8nstead of loads of nonsense on it. One day at a time!

Come on lil we can do this. We work too dam hard to put ourselves thru this hell. Imagine the slimy sleezeball fat cat owner that is living it up on your misery and kick the little sh@t right in the gonads. No more of our hard earned money for the slime balls.

Thank you for posting on my diary Lil. I appreciate your support and I do take on board the advice given by friends like yourself.

Wishing you a good Sunday. I won't comment on whether or not it would be wise to tell your partner about the gambling but the general view is that honesty is the best policy. However, only you know what is best for you, so whatever you decide to do I hope its for the best.

I sincerely hope we can stay free from gambling. It will be good if we can all find peace, contentment and happiness. At the very least we should get to live more meaningful lives ... stephen

Thanks Stephen, I still haven't breathed a word to anyone. Which is crazy because the anxiety is making me sick and I have no idea, at all, what I’m going to tell my landlord? It’s such a silly situation to find myself in I am so angry with myself.

However, still GF, but, as I have no money I don't really think this is an achievement. The real achievement will come when I actually have some money....

Not quite at my previous best, but 15 days GF. Have secured some money for rent from family, and now need to get through the rest of the month....small steps.... still not feeling too good, but enjoying reading the threads on here. Thanks to you all for your continued support!

Hello Lil. Many thanks for visiting my diary.

I know finances are a bit tight for you this month so hope you are managing ok.

There are many success stories on the diaries and I sincerely hope you become one of them ...stephen x

Hey lil you’re still doing fab keep it going. Me and tracyd have got a club going on my diary and we want you to join us. Come and see us and make our gang bigger. Feeding off each other’s strength is so helpful.

Sosad - thanks! Will head on over and take a look.

Am closest to the longest time I’ve been GF in over three years. Feel under pressure though! Got an email about free spins, and we know where that ended up last time. Don't know why the emails haven't stopped, but I don't have the strength to go and take a look at the site. Don't want to tempt fate. 18 days GF.

Hey lil

Keep going... You're doing great. Be proud. The early days are tough indeed so keep making them count.

Didn't we discuss email filters before? I think we did... I'm not alleging that you will succumb to one of them again, but if like me they just P**s you off and bring back a world of pain and trauma then just set a filter in your email settings to immediately junk anything with the word 'casino, bet, gambling, roulette...' and whatever other words you can think up that won't banish your actual emails to purgatory (hence the non inclusion of words like bonus, slot, free, spin etc)

The ones I have mentioned should do the trick. Doesn't take long to do either. You need to work the recovery, don't expect the recovery to just work for you! ;o)

Ah yes, S, I forgot about email filters... will take a look. Thanks!

20 days! Longest time GF in sooo many years. I have kept very busy today, walking, cleaning and a bit of work... determined to make it. Thanks to everyone on here for support x

Dear Lil30

Congratulations on reaching your 20 days. I am glad to see you're receiving support on our forums. Signalman gave some great advice about the email filters. Keep up the great work and keep looking forwards.

Warm regards

Leigh

Forum Admin