Im really struggling with gambling and with life. And i dont know if im addicted to gambling or self pity more.
I have developed a different personality in work, i have learnt to put up a front. I feel by developing this front/personality it is blocking my thought process and brain to untangle.
I cant always gamble, i dont have a limitless supply of money, As a result i really believe alcohal has become an issue also.
Ive done some really silly and wrong stuff the last few months and my behaviour is only getting worse. Coupled with the added drink intake my mind has gotten worse.
I wanna say to myself , just because i feel sad, doesnt mean i can punish other people. before i gambled i was very quiet. For a long time now i have become manipulative, angry, and a really bad person to be around.
Why am i posting here? Because i got 90 days free before xmas and this was the first step in that achievement.
I put my passport in the shredder in work, setted up a standing order that some of my wages would go into a savings account and gave my bank card to my mam.
Giving the bank card to my mam isnt a deterent, she knows i have a gambling problem but if i need the card i have straight away But im not blaming anyone else for this. Any advice what to do with the bank card would be appreciated.
Im Stephen, im 9 hours free from a bet.
Hi Stephen I have seen from afar your troubles with this addiction and hope you find the strength to overcome this.
I transfer all my money to my parents and have cut up all my cards so I only have access to limited money which seems to have worked and kept me gamble free.
Sometimes i have more money than I need like for an emergency or a night out nothing to extreme that could see me down the wrong path again though just over time ive taken little baby steps to overcome this.
I feel the anger you show at times could be managed by abstaining from alcohol and gambling you may even know that, its only going to compound things in the long run. Small changes make big differences in the long term
Sorry for rambling, never give up 🙂
Worked today, did some overtime. I get depressed staying back after work. The thoughts of extra money sparks my gambling thoughts.
Theres a lot of change in work and that makes me feel really uncomfortable.
I now have a couple of days of work, peolle asked me how i would spend, suggested a take a trip away and enjoy the days. Its been 5/6 years since i took a holiday/break so i had to lie. Im not a normal person that uses their money for things like that.
I have no access to any money so that supresses any impulsive gambling thoughts.
Im Stephen, one day free from a bet
Stephen
Fella I have written this before and will again
You need professional help,you need to seek help for the turmoil emotionally that you live with.
Gambling addiction feeds negative emotions and isolates the individual, detaches you from the world.
Alcohol and excessive consumption is neither the answer.
You are travelling around a roundabout, going around and around travelling from one disaster to the next, the roundabout will decrease in size.
Nothing will halt the self created wreckage if you don't look for the next exit.
That will take great courage to face.
The outcome will offer the opportunity for change.
Seek professional help, actually use that time you have.
Only you can and you have to want to accept the outcome.
I hope you seek it.
Regards Duncs.
Sunday morning, few sausages on the grill.
I wrote something a few days ago about not going on holidays , really wondering why it never clicked how harmful gambling was and why i never stuck to abstaining.,
No impulse gambling thoughts because of the no money, i do wish to use this summer to work on me. Tomorrow ill rang Dunlewwy about some counselling. Im gonna deactivate my social media accounts because i think that has a negative effect on my mood.
Im Stephen , 4 free days from a bet
6 days free from a bet.
Back to work today after a few days off, felt more positive as the day progressed.
if i put geniune effort to stop gambling ill have a nice life, Simplistic but true. And i do have the belief that life can get better.
Day 11.
Feeling positive, i have a week before payday so its an important week coming up, Planning on getting a lot of meetings in.
the following week im joining a newer gym, its more expensive but it has a pool and its a lot nicer. no reason why i cant have something nice.
Sold my laptop; wasn't planned but I used it to gambling,
I need help
Hello Stephen,
Sounds like you've been making some real efforts to avoid gambling, but you've had a slip.
You mentioned thinking about calling Dunlewey. Dunlewey's freephone is 08000 886 725 if you want to talk on their helpline, or if you want to apply for their local free therapy service.
Take care,
Adam.
Sorry to read that Stephen, but I know you are doing your damnest to stop, as admin says try that help line number, we need every bit of help we can get, I know you haven't/ or won't give up, frustration, resentment, etc, can make us feel very angry and alone, I know you want to do this, and you can, get on the phone and connect, having a back line helps enormously, it gives us strength, motivation, and makes us realise we are not on our own, the help is there and here,
Suzanne xxx
I have had a lapse,feel angry,sad,upset , only positive thing is I'm so annoyed at myself I never want to gamble again
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
