One big hit and your addicted

Mr.c

fella thanks for the kind words on my thread, the forum has given me the strength to face my latest trial a herniated disc in my back.

still going strong on your weight losses which i am to.

there is something else to be proud of.

Keep up the great work.

Hope the fishing was kind to you.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi Chicago guy

Just wanted to congratulate you on your continued abstinence. Combined with your healthy eating you have made some big changes and you must be feeling great.

You deserve to have success as you have worked very hard at your recovery. Keep up the good work!

Take care mate, Myles

Thanks for reminding me about the fishing. I haven't been out yet, which is makes me feel so ashamed. Before I got mixed up in gambling and my life became a muddle, I was out fishing every week during these months, sometimes a two days of the week. I suppose the strange thing is, I used it for stress relief in the first place - I could use that now!

It is something which I now miss though. I need those long walks to my spot. It is so lovely. I'll walk maybe 8 miles to this spot, a lot of which was walking a long about 3-4 miles of one of the best beaches on the east coast.

Need to prepare mentally for it mainly, as it's been so long. I was going over it all in mind earlier and thinking about much trouble it would be to prepare my kit, but I'm kicking myself really and being lazy, as I could be ready to go out in 20 minutes or less. Mad as it sounds, that has been one of my excuses - I can't get my kit prepared. As said though, for me, in truth its being mentally prepared.

Anyways, okay..next week. I'm going to give it a go. I will set a date, Thursday. I will head out. Wish me luck on this. Hopefully, I won't repeat the time I walked out 8 miles without my reels. lol. It was raining like crazy that day as well.

Thanks again, chicagoguy.

Hope you are doing well, my friend.

-Alex

Hey all,

I hope everyone is doing great. The process of recovery from my compulsive gambling addiction has been very healing, and as time goes on more healing is occurring. For those that don't know, or haven't been following my recovery diary I will share some background information of my addiction with you. I'am a recovering compulsive gambler that became addicted to the slots at the local casino. I originally started visiting the slot machines shortly after I lost my father in May of 2010. The addiction didn't really grab a hold of me until August of 2011, which at that point a number of things had occurred in my life which sent me into a deep depression. I lost a dream job, after almost a year long process of tests, credit checks, oral interview, background check, and medical exam. This along with having to move out of my fathers house, because we sold it, and of course I was still holding things together through the year of living there by myself after he had passed away, all hit me at once. Now I started to real feel his loss, because I could no longer come home and feel the comfort of his house. I was medically denied employment with an agency over here because of my asthma. Yes, I know what your thinking,"because of asthma"? yes unfortunately my pulmonary tests where not up to there requirements? Mind you I was playing basketball 5 days a week full court, and had not been using any of my medication because I was so in shape. Well this really put my addiction into overdrive, I started visiting the casinos more and increased the amounts I would bet with. Oh, just so we all know I was gambling with the inheritance my father had left me, can't leave that out because it has become a painful reminder of my addiction and the financial devastation I allowed to happen to myself. I was very secretive with my addiction and absolutely no one knew what I had been doing. On January 7 th of this year I hit my bottom, and about gambled through all of my inheritance. I was very fortunate to find an addiction center where they accepted me into there compulsive gambling program. From that last day I gambled on January 7 th of this year to now, I have been able to start rebuilding my life and abstain from gambling. I attend weekly 1 on 1 therapy meetings, a weekly group therapy meeting, and 2 local G.A meetings a week. Through recovery I've been able to heal the many wounds that I allowed gambling to bring into my life. Also I must give much do credit to my Gamcare family, what a wonderful healing and educational site this has been and will continue to be for me. So here's what been happening in the last month, my brother who I love very much, has found a wonderful house to buy and has put different offers in to the bank to buy it, Well I have supported his process of obtaining it, and through supporting and talking about it, him buying it outright cash with what my father left us each, it has brought up some feelings of guilt, as to what I did with my share of the inheritance. Now I'am the oldest of 6 boys, and have always tried to be there for my brothers in any way I could to help them out. Through some of the years different brothers would live with me when they needed a place to stay, my doors were always open to any of them, and I was always there for them if they needed me for anything. Through some texting with my brother he has received word from the bank they accepted his offer and he will be closing on his dream house this month. I was very happy for him and I know my dad would be proud of him. Tonight before I was getting ready to leave to go to my G.A meeting, he texted me about a couple different stocks I owned at one point. Our inheritance was stocks and cash, I replied back to him for the first time ever, I lost all the money dad gave me through my addiction. He replied back to me, "I have a house to live in the rest of my life, and so do you". Very touching and special moment we had there. I've been dreading the moment for so long to let him know that I had lost all of my inheritance my father left each of us due to my addiction, well tonight more healing has been done. Thanks to these 3 words abstinence, recovery, and forgiving!

I wish you the best in your recovery process.

Recovering compulsive gambler,

Chicagoguy

150 days gamble free

Great post Chicago.

So comforting to not only be able to be honest with your brother but that he accepted your honesty and your addiction. Not being judged by people and family, like our Gamcare family, helps us immensely to come to terms with our addiction and to see past it to a better future. I have only been able to tell 2 of my friends and still am unable to tell my wife just how much money I lost last year but I know that I'm am taking the right steps to change that and to right the wrongs that I have put on my wife and kids.

You are inspirational in your approach to beating your addiction.

Whilst we all live with regret at what we've done there is no better time like the present to do something about it.

Keep doing what you're doing Chicago and you will reap the benefits.

Supporting you always.

G

Such a heartwarming post to hear about your brother but must have been a very frustrating experience over the job.

I looked after my brother's two boys tonight while he and his wife went out and the eldest who is eleven was telling me all about how much he loves fishing and is going with his friends tomorrow to the local lake which reminded me of you.

Take care and glad to hear everything is at last falling into place for you.

xxx

Hey CG

Just been reading your post there...and its great you have a forever home with your brother.

I also know about Inheritence and especially at a younger age its a big respinsibility....often you learn the value of it once you have made some mistakes...for different reasons I too lost quite a lot of mine in different ventures,

thinking the weather must be good in the US and that you are out fishing when you can...peace of mind being priceless.

As always , thank you for supporting me with your pop ins and also I still read your thread on the other pages from your therepy group.

R and D xx

Hey all,

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I enjoyed some fishing this weekend and cooking out with my brother at his house. We made 3 lbs of salmon on the grill and some asparagus. It was excellent I must say. For those of you that still read my diary and reply with a post, I really appreciate your support. Unfortunately due to the financial situation I'am in currently, which my addiction played a huge part of, and being out of work, I need to cut some corners with expenses. I'am downgrading my cable, phone and internet package to just cable. It's going to save me a lot of money, and when I return to employment, I'll revisit adding it back. I have family and friends and a local library that will have internet to log onto here occasionally. Please understand that I do attend 2 weekly G.A. meetings and I'am also a outpatient for compulsive gambling at an addiction center which I go to twice a week. I will try to update every Monday with my progress on all my goals and also catch up with my supporters. Again, thank you everyone that has supported me, this site will remain a part of my relapse prevention program.

Recovering compulsive gambler,

Chicagoguy

22 weeks gamble free

10 weeks eating healthy

18 lbs weight loss since I started my eating healthy program

next weigh in July 1 st

Hey CG ...will look out for your posts ....have every confidence you still have support even though u are going to be on here less...xx

Salmon sounds great xx

R and d xx

Mr.c

my friend

my wish is simple

keep up the fantastic work.

most of all enjoy the rewards of your hard work.

because you learnt to believe.

abstain and maintain.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Out of sight NOT out of mind, will be thinking of you fishing and staying strong and healthy.

xxx

Hi Chicago

I've been reading more than posting recently and your recent insights through your posts made me feel a lot of respect towards you.

All the best

Hey Chicago,

I too will be looking forward to your future posts. Stay strong and I will too. Go Blackhawks! -joanxxx

Look forward to those weekly updates.

Truly hope your financial situation improves greatly and your back on strong levels before too long.

Your support has been amazing. Thank you.

Good luck with the weights by the way. The gym is my new addiction. Has been for some time but I'm taking it up a notch. Great distraction from the gambling.

Take care of yourself buddy. You seem like you're really taking control of things. Be very proud my man.

G

Thinking of you, friend. Big well done on your continued recovery. You're one of a kind on here and truly appreciated.

Should be out fishing soon, myself. I will pluck up the courage soon. It seems like a giant step in the right direction.

All the best

Alex