Online slots...

Thought id better pop in and catch up....
Nothing to report on the gambling front....thank goodness !
Buzzing with just normal life and working hard in my little pub....which is rocking at the moment ! I'm sure the next 3 months will be very different....but that's fine..give me chance to spruce it up a bit before my anual eho inspection lol
Sooooo Xmas is fast approaching and I can't bleedy wait !
Presessies bought ....wrapped and awaiting the big day....what a difference from last year...Peter to pauling right up to Xmas eve...juggling cash to buy stock and cater for functions....well..not this year....stock sorted...functions under control !
Who takes the credit for that then ?
Well...i do !
Why ?
Because I made the decision to fight my addiction head on...
Because I fought tooth and nail in those early weeks not to get sucked back into those online slots....
And because now....even though the urges....thoughts and feelings towards the slots have not called on me for months. ...I'll always be ready for them.....with a bleedy baseball ! knock them back where they belong....in my past !
Sooooo pleaseeeeee if your just starting to accept your addiction....just coming to terms with the fact that you have a problem.....
Stick at it....take the advice on here....
Talk...talk...and listen !
No matter how bad life seems...how big debts are...
How messed up your head feels...
It can and will get better...
If you truley want it to....
And work dam hard to fight your addiction...
I did ! ...will you ?
Your choice...your future...
X

Morning Loxxie :)) .

Just a quick pop by to say Hi and what alovely post again :))

Just like yourself I know those feelings of " Peter and Paul " Oh too well , I was a better Juggler than the one the circus had :(( , all in the past for us both now and it feel great :)) .

Glad the Pub's doing well for you , been going great guns myself but come tonight that'll all end as the Navy begin their xmas leave and the students dissappear until the new year , so I'm closed from Saturday until they return ( Yipeeeee ! ) .

3 month's to get ready for the EHO , how bad is it then ? LOL ! , I know what you mean though they'll pick up on the slightest thing , although I've been such a good boy they only visit every 2 yrs now ( Go Me ) :))

Anywhoo's me Luvverely , Just thought I'd say Hi and really glad your enjoying life :))

Don't work too hard Sweetie !! xx

Cheers love....
One more sleep for you my booty...then you can chillax for two weeks..........
Off out for dinner tonight...daughters birthday....
So couple hours r/r for me....
Catch you laterz : )

Happy Christmas Loxx, we're both coming round the final bend to our year, couldn't wish for a nicer person to do that with. Hope you have an amazing Christmas.

Twinkly 'balls of steel' r

xx

So...here we are ...Xmas eve ....340 odd days gamble free...
Last year this time I was continually peter/pauling with cash....skimping on pressies and wondering if id have enough stock in the bar to get through the festivities...lies...cover ups..manipulations all part of everyday life for me....when in the grip of my addiction...
Do I regret it all ?
Only really the 5 year chunck of my time....my life..and that of my family and friends....
The truth is....I've learnt so much ...I look at things differntly..I feel whole again...alive....
I'm living....and even the normal daily problems that fire up now and then are fine...I can cope...I can deal with them.....
Sooooo.....this Xmas I'll be with my family 100% ...I'll be serving the punters 100%...why ? ....because I made the choice to fight my addiction..how ?. By making changes to me...and by refusing to be chocked by my addiction anymore....
And as in my very first post....I pray that my strength continues
Alan
Deano
Mart
Balv
Twinks
Wcid
Merc
All the old timers who picked me up when I was broken and have
walked with me...I wish you all a very peacefull Christmas..
To newcomers......start the fight...this time next year you can be writing a post like this.....and facing a wonderfull christmas with no secrets and lies..
Happy Christmas to you all...x

Loxxie

I have followed your posts but never sure if anyone wants to hear from parents of gamblers - but just wanted to say well done on reaching a great gfree target - a fantastic Xmas pressie in itself don't you think? Your positive post has given me hope and if I was your Mum I would be so proud of you. Although it has been a rollercoaster ride for our family for a long while I think we are at last getting somewhere and like you there is a much happier and settled vibe this Xmas. Some of the people on your list above have been supportive at some point of us posting and I would like to thank them and wish you all on here a geat Xmas and a happy New Year. XX

Merry Christmas to my favourite Peggy Mitchell.

Peace and love to you and your's
X

Happy Christmas Lovely, you have done amazing, you deserve to have a fab Christmas. What a difference a year makes. It makes great reading for newcomers to the forum. Lots love - wcid x

Hey loxie great post I'm. Still fighting the fight still 200 odd days past but still feeling like an addict is that normal?putting up barriers and not allowing the devil to jump on my shoulder I had a peaceful Xmas and for a change money in the bank I really do wonder now how did I ever afford to gamble??well I didn't that's the point feeling positive going to get my debts paid and save for mine and my kids future thanks for all your support this year lots of love dizzy x

So .....2017 it is then....
I've always said at each new year. ....it won't be no different than the last one ! lol
Didn't say that this year.....because my new years already different...I'm not being suffocated by my addiction anymore....I'm not glued to the online slots that sucked me in and turned me into a secret..deceitful. manipulating liar...a person who chose a spinning real over time with family and friends.....sounds crazy when you read that back...but that's how it was..and how it would still be if I hadn't STOPPED ....so.....in the day count im fast approaching the first year of being in recovery....of not gambling on those slots. ....to be honest.....I don't really worry about the day count now....its just something thats not part of my life anymore.....dont read that as a flippant comment.....I've worked f*****g hard to kick my addiction into touch...the early weeks were hell. ....but i kept pushing....I kept fighting....so yes..I'm proud and chuffed that I've come this far...
Will I sit back now and think...job done ?
No way..I've far to much respect for my addiction....far to much to loose ....I'll always be on the look out for my addiction should it attempt to try and rear it's ugly head again.....
Thankfully the only time I ever think about it is when I come on here.....and that's ok..It doesn't have a negative affect on me...
I've not been around much over Xmas ....just be manic with functions and family life....but it's all been great.....nothing like hard work to give you a buzz..
Anyway....it's lovely to be sat here with a coffee..in peace and quiet....hubby back to work..son back to school....a bit of me time !
Soooooo different to last new year !
Happy new year to all my old buddies on here. .......
And to any new comers I've not yet met.....
No matter how bad things seem..
You can change it all.....
It's your choice......it's not easy....but trust me.....you can do it x

Well done, I can relate to all the family times you have missed as I've been the same until 98 days ago. EVerything seems so much brighter and fresher. Happy new year and here to 2017 being gf. X

Loxxie wrote: So .....2017 it is then.... I've always said at each new year. ....it won't be no different than the last one ! lol Didn't say that this year.....because my new years already different...I'm not being suffocated by my addiction anymore....I'm not glued to the online slots that sucked me in and turned me into a secret..deceitful. manipulating liar...a person who chose a spinning real over time with family and friends.....sounds crazy when you read that back...but that's how it was..and how it would still be if I hadn't STOPPED ....so.....in the day count im fast approaching the first year of being in recovery....of not gambling on those slots. ....to be honest.....I don't really worry about the day count now....its just something thats not part of my life anymore.....dont read that as a flippant comment.....I've worked f*****g hard to kick my addiction into touch...the early weeks were hell. ....but i kept pushing....I kept fighting....so yes..I'm proud and chuffed that I've come this far... Will I sit back now and think...job done ? No way..I've far to much respect for my addiction....far to much to loose ....I'll always be on the look out for my addiction should it attempt to try and rear it's ugly head again..... Thankfully the only time I ever think about it is when I come on here.....and that's ok..It doesn't have a negative affect on me... I've not been around much over Xmas ....just be manic with functions and family life....but it's all been great.....nothing like hard work to give you a buzz.. Anyway....it's lovely to be sat here with a coffee..in peace and quiet....hubby back to work..son back to school....a bit of me time ! Soooooo different to last new year ! Happy new year to all my old buddies on here. ....... And to any new comers I've not yet met..... No matter how bad things seem.. You can change it all..... It's your choice......it's not easy....but trust me.....you can do it x

Perfect 🙂 What a great feelgood post to read to keep us focussed.

Sbb

Hiya Loxxie :)) .

Just a quick drop in to say thanks for all your kind words over the festive period . I'm glad your all well and that you had a busy time of it business wise and that home life's all great as well , just noticed your not that far away from that huge milestone of a year gamble freeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!! so in case I'm not about I'll wish you well on your big day now if that's ok Hun , youv'e come sooooooooooooo far in terms of how your feeling and with all the life changes that have taken shape , not just for you but for those you love around you :)) It's not easy Lox and sometimes it's bloody hard but youv'e percevered to get where you want to be today and given lots of support to myself and loads of others on the forum along the way , for which I'll always be greatfull so thank you for alway's being there xx .

Sorry for not being around as much lately , tbh I'm just a bit knackered at the mo and having to be a bit selfish looking after me for a while , going to try and have a catch up with a few over the next couple of day's as I seem to have lost track a little :(( .

Take care of yourself lovely lady, keep smashing those day's and keeping that " Slot monster " where he belongs and I'll catch up again soon and love to you and your's :))

xxx

2 More sleeps bubbas! Twit twooo 🙂

You'd have probably been I. Your pj's this time last year clicking on a button thinking this will be the spin. Not now, look how far you have come hocked on c**P tv and coffee lol