Post-DFD

Recent developments has meant that my DFD has been bought forward.

Assuming certain credits are cleared in the next few days, I will be debt-free with the massive loan finally being paid of on...

...this Friday!

I am beyond excited about this as this would mean me being free of all gambling-related debts for the first time in the whole of my adult working life. Like I said before, I'm talking around thirty years. Thirty years of being saddled with gambling-related loans to absolutely none.

This, of course, will mean new challenges for me in my new life. But I'm ready for this. I have been waiting for so long for this moment and it's almost here.

I will certainly update this Friday.

NT

Today is the day that I can finally close my final, huge loan. Certain payments towards it materialised during the night and the balance is now down to three figures, from what used to be five figures.

I am now in a position to close it but I can't do anything about it until I get home from work later this evening.

I will update later.

NT

Well, the deed has been done.

I am now officially loan and credit card debt free for the first time in my adult working life. And how do I feel? Very strange. It's a strange experience and I do feel that strong barriers have been constructed in my continuing battle to stay well, well away from gambling. It has certainly been a real, hard slog to get to this point and I do feel that today's achievement is one of the greatest that I have done in my near half-century life.

I have a glass of bubbly with me right now to celebrate and I spent £5 on a couple of really nice starters from the local supermarket. But what am I having for my main course? Just the normal Wednesday evening meal where the ingredients will cost around £1 in total. It is still a very nice and tasty meal, don't get me wrong, but I'm definitely not ready to splash out on expensive meals just yet. The Bank Holiday weekend is coming up and plans are in place to have one or two meals out which includes the classic English fry-up.

I have been on these forums for many years now on and off and it has been a really emotional and rollercaster journey. The journey certainly does not end here as I am still a serious problem gambler who is just one tiny, tiny bet away from disaster. It is vital that I remember this at all times otherwise I will be back to where I started and this is where I will - not if, but will - lose my flat and my job. This is a definite as I am coming up to the mature years in my life and I am desperate to make the most of it. Whether this will include a partner or a family, I really don't know. One step at a time, eh?

I have noticed that no-one has responded on my diary for a while. That's fine. I understand. I don't post on anyone else's diary so why should anyone post on mine. These diaries are no longer useful for me to post every single thought of mine as I now have a 671-page and 570,000+ word diary on Word which I have posted on for over a year now. I can post anything I like on that diary without any words being asterisked out and I can talk about anything I like without worrying about anyone else finding out about my personal life and battles.

To anyone who thinks that I should now be called 'T' which stands for 'There', definitely not. This problem gambling addiction will be harnessed in our bodies for many, many years to come and we all have to make the right choices in order to combat this.

To anyone who is jealous of my achievement today, I completely understand. I have been so jealous of posters in the past who have posted similar achievements and I have often wondered whether I would ever match those.

To anyone who feels that they will never get to where I am today, yes of course you can! As long as any debt that you have is reduced on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, this is GOOD! Money isn't everything, of course, and I have constantly been jealous of others who have a lovely little family of their own. Make the most of this, please, and the money issues will take care if itself as long as you keep making the right choices.

Thanks for listening, I'm just off to make my little meal. I suppose that we all have to be grateful that the money-saving skills that we have harnessed due to our addiction do us good in the long-term.

NT 🙂

Great work, NT. Now to put those extra funds to good use. Who knows what lies ahead for you now. Well done, mate!

Congratulations, NT. You may not be 'T' in terms of gambling addition, but you are 'T' as far as your finances go. You've been talking about this moment for many years, and it was always being pushed back. What you've done is no small achievement, and I raise my glass to you (just beer but I mean it literally and have just done it) . I know that you know that this is a time to celebrate, but also a time to be careful. Complacency is the enemy. I am not immune and have suffere recently, and I must update my diary. Please keep posting, because I'm sure there are many like me who take inspiration from your struggle and empathise with your falls. I truly wish you well, and congratulate you.

Mm

Hi NT,

Good to hear from you, you are an old warrior who never gives in. Your DFD target is a fantastic achievement and is evidence that it can be done! I find my self counting down again and am happy to tick of the days as they take care of themselves.

Treat yourself now as you deserve it. That is a mammoth diary you have going, as you say no censors or risk of offending. No annoying captcha either.

Stay vigilant as the gambling demon is never far away. Keep fighting the good fight.

I am sure you still listen to good music so here is one for old times sake.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yfySK7CLEEg

Paulds

Thanks to all for your lovely responses.

It's not even been a week of being DFD but life, for me, has seen a totally different outlook. Being free of debts and credit cards simply means that as long as I continue to earn money on a regular basis and as long I make all of the right choices when it comes to gambling urges, I have plenty to look forward to.

It's this 'look forward' that has been on my mind a lot. I can now start planning for both my short-term and long-term future. However, as milkman says, complacency really is an enemy to be wary of. I have gone through this so many times in the past when I would get complacent whilst in the middle of a long gamble-free run and thinking that I have nailed this. It's time to bring back what I have always thought...

...the time that you can be confident that you are free of the gambling addiction will be the time that you get through a period of time gamble-free which is more than the time since you started gambling. In my case, this will be forty years. This will be something to really celebrate on my 90th birthday...!

Well done mate. Complacency is the key. We all think a £5 or £10 makes no difference but it can lead to devastation

Deleted

I had always thought that I would really splash out food-wise on my DFD but as it happened during a working week, I thought better of it. I suppose that we will never be rid of our penny-pinching skills that was have harboured throughout our gambling 'career' and this can only be a very good thing for our DFD future.

Don't worry, I intend not to worry about what I am spending on my meals when I go on my holiday in the summer! This is when the penny-pinching has to take a momentary break and in any case, it will feel really good to spend my money to the right people.

NT

Well, it seems that the FOBT maximum stake has now been reduced to £2. Some people are revelling in the news and rightly so, especially if playing £50 or £100 roulette spins was their problem in the gambling world.

But not me.

Yes, I have played a few spins of roulette of over £2, mostly £5, but my main problem was the £2 stake on the fruit machines - first on the fruit machines in arcades then in bookies where there are dozens of them.

This hasn't changed. Trust me, you can still lose thousands of pounds on them in a few hours. And with the loss of high-stake roulette bets, I am sure that gambling operators will try and find way to get around their losses. They always have. They are always the winners.

So peeps, beware. There are still tough times ahead.

NT

A little update from me.

The month of May has seen a stop-start in my new debt-free life. Yes, I have gambled a few times and this included one little blow-out a few days ago, the first for a while. Overall, in 2018, I am doing so much better than this time last year but the right choices need to be made now.

So why? Well, it's the money part of the triangle. Now that I am credit card and loan free, it is easy to think that I have more money to throw away. In reality, I don't as I really need to start focussing on the other big thing in my life which is my mortgage. Building up some savings has been my priority since May 2nd when I paid off the last of my loans. This hasn't happened...

...yet.

The month of May has now gone and it really was a mad month. It culmulated yesterday when I wanted to experience time in a bookies for the last time (famous last words...) and I spent nearly four hours in there. At one point, I was even thinking about taking a £1000 loan just to tide me over for the rest of the month but I managed to leave £39 in profit. When I am in gambling zombie mode, that £39 is an incredibly small amount of money but as soon as I left the bookies, I had many ideas of what to do with it. It really is a lot of money when you think about it and a good top-up of food and car petrol was done this morning.

Of course, I knew that this would happen. I knew that having more money at my disposal would make life much, much harder. June is a month where work is incredibly busy and there has never been a better time to start my debt-free life for real. June is going to be a month where I will be saving every penny that I can. The food in my cupboard and freezer is going to be used up and hopefully by June 30th, I will be in a much better position to tackle the very tricky months ahead. I am also going to save as much money as I can for my holiday this summer. It is somewhere in the UK where there are absolutely no opportunities to gamble (apart from online, of course). Unfortunately, I cannot say where on here as I know that there will be gambling companies lurking around to see a market opportunity but it really is a rare chance to spend a relaxing few days away in such a lovely location full of gambling-nothingness.

I feel fine. Yes, I still have that problem of mine and this is simply because I am a recovering compulsive gambler. I will be a recovering compulsive gambler for probably the rest of my life but the main thing is that I have reached my DFD and I am on track to make the most of the rest of my life.

NT

Afternoon NT,

Nice to see a familiar name around here even if it has changed a few times over the years lol, Congratulations on become debt free.

I’m not telling anything you don’t know but being debt free is dangerous for a compulsive gambler, I’ve heard it said many times in the past that debt is good for a CG, I suppose it gives us a focus and once that focus has been achieved it leaves us vulnerable. You set yourself goals to reduce that debt down maybe you need to put some goals in place for some savings, think of that holiday all the nice things you can do the extra little treats that you can have without having to worry about if you can afford 2 flakes in your ice-cream.

Also remember they’re 3 sides to that triangle get the other 2 broken get yourself busy fill that void get the self-exclusions done in the bookies and if you have already and your sneaking in tell them to be extra vigilante makes sure they know you.

It sounds like you had a lucky escape when you managed a little profit, probably a good thing you didn’t win big as you would only have continued till it had gone and then probably would have taken that loan out chasing the money you thought was yours.

Don’t ruin all your hard work in getting the debt down, you know too well its will take minutes, hours and days to fall back in a hole full of debt but it will take weeks , months and years to climb out of that hole

KTF

Whilst it's good that you are less in debt, your success is rather limited giving that you seem to be quite actively gambling.

This is the problem with having what in my opinion is the wrong target. Yes, you're meeting your target, for now. But it's paper thin as you're a whisker away from anhilation.

Surely the target must be to never gamble again. Or to not gamble for, say, the next 3 months (then 6, then 9 etc). Obviously the debt is then taken care of.

Thanks to Oldhamktf and Cardhue for your thoughts - always appreciated.

Oldhamktf - you literally took the words out of my mouth especially with the reference to the two flakes in an ice-cream! I already know that this period since becoming debt-free is probably the most dangerous and you are right, setting some goals to aim for is important. I have already done this with a countdown of around five months before I can think about tackling my mortgage and I already have a list of gadgets that I would like to get.

carhue - I agree. My 'success' is not quite where I would like it to be due to the fact that May has seen a few visits to gambling establishments. It is very difficult to have a target never to gamble again as I have had that target so many times in the past only for it not to be reached. This is why I have set June as one of the most important months of my gambling recovery journey. Once this has been achieved (positive thinking there...), then I will tackle the summer months. One step at a time, eh?

June has started extremely well for me with only fleeting gambling thoughts. Those thoughts will not go away for a very long time and they were brushed away with relevant ease despite the lovely sunny weather which is usually a trigger for me to go out for a drive and gamble.

But not today.

NT