reborn on the 4th July

Hi Castle,

"I will never beat gambling but, gambling will never beat me". Just what I needed to hear. Just echoing what all of the others before me have said already: A "wow" post from a "wow" human being! Thanks Castle and congratulations on your 1000 and your year!!!! -joanxxx

Top post Castle.

I can especially relate to your comment of you wanting your daughter to grow up being proud of you. That same mindset about my family is helping drive me on in my early days too.

I had a lump in my throat reading through your post. I often wonder if a lifetime of gambling up and downs has scared me emotionally and slowly eaten away at my emotional resilience, or perhaps I have always been a bit of an emotional 'fool' anyway??

You are doing fantastic, keep up the great work.

LA

Thank u all for ur kind words like I said I wouldn't be where I am right now if it wasn't the support of everyone on here , for that I will always be eternally grateful

Another special day today its my birthday which normally I would just let go by without saying just like I did a year ago , I think again that gave me the incentive to try again and av the better life I always wanted , so me and jess off to a place called Damons an American steak and rib place , its really nice and for ur birthday u get ur main meal free so were both looking forward to that

Been thinkin a lot by my relationship with my parents like I said they av been so good to me this last year the financial support they av given me helped me out so much with lending me money for my car and to go on holiday , I took the decision though not to tell them bout my gambling problem as I knew the reaction I would get , even if I told them now and said but look what I av done bout it they would just simply see it as why did u do it u stupid idiot , the disappointment they could not handle and neither could I , if I knew I would get the support and they said ok how can we help but they would just freak out and be ashamed their son turned into a gamblmg addict

I dont think I could ever tell them there both in their seventies and think they would take it badly , I try to look back where it went wrong with my relationship

With them , there was never on hugs or kisses and even now its so awkward at xmas and birthdays the barriers just go up mainly on my side , I dont blame them they brought me up to know right from wrong very strict and very much parent child mode all the time , prob why I'm completely with jess and come down to her level a lot , there's no rules in parenting and I suppose they thought what they did was right and I respect that

Maybe one day it will all come out but for now the time is not right , like always now in my life that I can't control I will deal with it if and when

Hi Castle,

Happy birthday my friend...awesome few posts from you.

I have so much respect for you...You are an amazing father, amazing son...nuff said!

Enjoy your evening...you deserve some fun!

Love Sue xxxx

Hey Castle

Just a quick post to wish you happy birthday and doff my hat to you for your positive contribution to this board and in particular newcomers. As with many others, you gave me a warm welcome which helped me ease into my diary which has helped me lots.

Enjoy your evening

Happy Birthday Castle, enjoy the ribs 🙂

Hi Castle,

Thank u 4 ur support on my diary, it means a lot 🙂

Happy bday Castle, I hope uv had an brilliant day and I know that u and Jessica will enjoy ur meal out 🙂

U r someone that gives me so much hope, U r a gr8 guy and someone that I am proud 2 have shared this journey with 🙂

Thank u Castle from the bottom of my heart 🙂

I am always here 4 u if u need me!

Have a gr8 nite xx

Got a late birthday present this mornin the flu ! Woke up aching head to toe I knew I was starting with it yesterday as there's that many at Work who av had it was hoping a good nights sleep would see me ok but to no avail , will just get on with it got to work for a few hours this mornin so no point in moaning and been miserable

Had a fab meal last night it was so funny jess was covered in BBQ sauce all over her face and hands she picked au every rib and wing till there was nothing left , then after they brought me a cake out and jess sang happy birthday with her rendition of squash tomatoes and stew u look like a monkey and smell like one to ! Everyone just stopped and looked she thought it was great a little pay back for herFor all the times I tease her

Was both in bed for half nine but overall had a lovely day hope the next one comes round way much slower ! Lol

Happy belated Birthday Castle...just seen your posts there...

Great to see you had a good chuckle with Jess and hopefully got some BBQ photos...

R and D xx

Hi Castle,

Ur last post made me smile, Jessica's happy bday 2 u made me laugh 🙂 It sounds like u both had a gr8 nite, and u deserve nothing but happiness!

Sorry 2 read that u r not feeling well, there is so much going round atm!

I hope u feel better really soon Castle!

Take care xx

Today I feel like iv been ten rounds with mike Tyson ! I ache from head to toe my head is spinning so much goin hot and cold never felt like this b4 just want it to go away , I'm not a very good patient I dont do ill

In the words of my beautiful daughter Jessica ' daddy ur not as bad as u think u r its just man flu '

For today enough said lol

that sounds like flu proper to me...

In fact true flu only happens a few times in a lifetime and when you have it..you know...

I don't envy you...keep your fluids up and rest.I don't do ill either which now of course means I will be hit by a sledgehammer next week...lol

keep warm and take the rest of the week off..thats an order!!!.....

R and D xx

Hi Castle,

Thank u 4 ur kind words on my diary. It means a lot 🙂

It made me laugh wot Jessica said about the man flu.... Bless her 🙂

I hope u feel better soon Castle, try 2 get some rest and look after u!

Take care xx

Thanks charlotte , Rachael

No chance with time off work just got no staff at all and there's so much to do , I will work till I drop and there's a very good chance of that at the moment lol , on at 6 today and had very little sleep

Like over this last year I didn't achieve anything without fighting and thats what I will apply now determined not to let a little flu man or not get the better of me

one virus killing thought at a time Castle x