Relapse is part of recovery?

Coming up for a month without placing a single bet.

I am back to work now so am busy through the day and back in the gym, which is a good release.

I have since my last post put a block on my mobile phone so that i cannot access online betting sites so i ahve no possible way with the technology i currently own to access gambling sites, this is and will prove significant when i am feeling low and wanting to gamble online, the means to do this is no longer available.

I have had a couple of respnses from the creditors i wrote, requesting alternative repayments and to freeze interest. Tonight i have printed letters with offers for the creditors of what i can afford to re-pay each month. i hope to have these posted by the end of the week.

All in all i am feeling positive for the future and hope it continues, financially there are tough times on the horizon and it is these that i must stay strong through. I am sure this is possible with the support from my wife who is my rock.

Been a busy, nearly 2 weeks since my last post and still going strong. At work this week there had a been a lot of talk about preparing the christmas work party and where to have it. A suggestion for the Grosvenor Casino was made which was getting a lot of backing. I was strong and informed my work associates that i have had a gambling issue, certainly with casino's & online casinos. I also told them i had self excluded myself some years ago from the Grosvenor Casino chain. At first everyone thought i was joking with them but once they realised i wasn't joking it was met with some disbelief. I could tell that some of them couldn't understand why i would self exclude and even comprehend having a gambling problem. I did stress though to everyone that i did not mind one bit if the casino became the location, i wouldn't be attending and would be fine with that. As it stands at the moment i believe the location will not be the casino. Only time will tell. I came home that day and couldn't wait to tell my wife. I never contemplated having or even wanting people at work to know what demons i have been fighting but once i had opened up, i felt like i had taken a huge step to where i want to be regards gambling. I have always liked to have a couple of quid on the football on a weekend and thats always been as far as it went, it never got out of hand at all. Its always been the introduction of casinos and online casinos that has been my weakness. The football season has started and i haven't placed a single bet on that. Probably more down to not being able to afford to over wanting to. I would like to maybe in the future be in a position to have a couple of quid on the football on a weekend. I did enjoy putting a couple quid accumulator on, granted i didn't win very often but it was something i enjoyed doing. We as a couple play the lottery every week; pay by direct debit which is around £20 / month; i cannot honestly say i enjoy this, we dont even watch the draw on a Saturday. Its just something we have always done, rarely won (significantly) and get no joy. We just feel that once we stop, our numbers will come in and we would have missed an opportunity to significantly improve our lifestyle. If i did get back to football bets it would have to be by actually walking into the bookies and placing the bet over doing it online, this way i wouldn't be tempted with the online casino. I know they have the roulette machines in the bookies, but i know these are rigged just like the gambler machines in pubs; i have never been drawn to them. For now though i want to continue with not betting at all, in any shape or form (except the lottery). I need to prove to myself that i can do this. If i do get back to having a couple quid on the football it wont be for some time to come thats for sure.

10 days since my last post and i am still going strong. The only form of gamble that i have had is at work; they have arranged a sweepstake for this years rugby world cup and so i bought a ticket. Got drawn a good team too in the form of New Zealand so chances are i may get a return on this, which will be nice. Other than this is was tempted to place a bet on the England team but decided just to stick with the sweep stake. I cant say that i have wanted to go online and do the casino thing, which is great. It is still very early days though and i appreciate that but so far definatetly so good. Financially we are making some slow progress into repaying the debt that i have previously accrued; two of the 5 companies i have wrote haven't given me any form of correspondence so will see how that goes. I am certainly not loosing any sleep over it though. What will be will be. I am looking forward to Friday as FIFA 16 should be arriving at my door so i am looking forward to putting in some hours on that.

It has been a month since my last post and i have been doing very well. The urges for having a gamble online are getting fewer and fewer. A couple of weeks ago i had a lads night around a friends house, we played a few hands of texas hold'em, putting £5 into a pot for the winner. I had a good evening, even though i didn't win any of the games. I wasn't bothered as i was playing for the social side of it over wanting to win. Win or lose i was fine with. I hadn't played cards like this with friends for many years and realised how much i enjoyed doing this. Its not something i will be making a regular habit of but as a one off it was nice. Last night i went out for a colleagues leaving drinks and i watched from a distance one of my bosses pump money into a slot machine all evening and although he came out with us, didnt socialise, as he was on the machine on the other side of the room. He came over to us when he had ran out of money and told us he was off to get some more from the cash machine; upon his return he again pumped more money into the machine. I have never had an issue with playing the pub machines, it never appealed to me but watching him i felt a sense of sorrow for him. Apparently it is what he does when he goes out with people and last night wasn't a one off. Maybe i should introduce him to this site. Although i felt sorry for him i also drew strength from seeing him like that and appreciated just how far i have come with regards to myself stopping with the online & casino gambling.

Powering on one day at a time!!