Rock bottom again

Looking forward to a day without a bet.

Started to ask myself why I have left this so long

Day 2

Another sleepless night. Not looking forward to phone call in to work as I realize that I have let this happen again.

Since I will be Off I am going to self exclude from the local bookies.

Also phone GA to find out local meetings as I need to talk about this, I have let this nearly ruin me and it's went on long enough.

As I lay awake last I realized it not 4 year but 5 , now if that was a jail time you would have had to do something serious.

I have tried to stop in the past and failed after just a few month this time and going to use all the advice and services available.

I really want to stop........

Morning welcome to the forum,a place where you will get a wealth of help and support,not to mention some fantastic advice

the advice that helped me most on my first days recovery and still does today

there is a triangle

Time-money-location

take one away at all times and the punt becomes impossible,making you a winner by not placing that bet.

Take all the help on offer,Ga helped me hugely,it showed me that there is another way.

Abstain and maintain

Lastly

Why phone in and say you cannot get to work,why not walk?? cycle?? there is simply always an answer to lives problems.

I hope you find yours through taking the the best gift a compulsive gambler,arresting your addiction.

stay close to your diary,be kind to yourself

most of all enjoy it

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi thanks duncanmac for your post its good to know people have been beating this, the triangle thing is spot on i can work on that.

I have been to GA before about 2 year ago went twice and stopped for about 2 month but thinking i was cured i started placing small bets that's when a other cycle started I would win a little lose a little until the big win then i was hooked again losing all my money for weeks or month until i lost my job again or work ran out.

I have been on a journey since then to truly work out whats happened to me with this problem and have now have came to terms with that it will never fully go away which i am fine with that. I must ensure i stop and don't go back to gambling after complacency sets in.

I work as a contractor which nearly always miles from home and so i have to keep money for fuel no other choice that's why its crucial to get this sorted before i lose everything.

On a positive note I had a walk around the woods to clear my head and feeling much better for it.... I am going to win without betting as am not betting at all

Hi buzz

Welcome aboard, and what a good positive post to read.

Wish you all the best on your recovery.

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Hi

Thanks for your best wishes Susanne

I used to be a positive person hopefully I get some of that back.

Day 3

I have not had urges yet which is good but my real test will be friday as I have not got s penny to my name so can't gamble anyway.

Having the cold and no money for work have really made me depressed.

I have no resolve left to deal with days without out the basics . I can't even afford a cup of tea from snack bar.

I lost my last 300 quid at the weekend in about an hour.

There's a GA meeting tonight I would like to go to see if I can arrange a lift or something, I feel like I really mean to quit this time

Hi buzz,

Well done on 3 days, soon be Friday.

Keep going

Suzanne x

Hey today was mostly reflecting how big and how long and destructive my gambling is.

I would kid myself on especially a Friday when my money was fresh in the bank the gambling blinkers would be on.

I can remember money like s drug with every 20 quid being a hit.

but once the binge was over and I only had s few quid left that'd when reality sets in you need money to live;

I'd forgotten the two hour journey to get work an the actual 8 hours had graft in the miserable weather whilst doing this with the lack of sandwiches and cigarettes because I'd spent all the money. It's not a healthily way to live.

Dealing with financial implications is tiring after months I can see why people have had enough.

I used to hate gambling all week until I got paid .

why is it so hard to get things right in life??

Morning

Life is hard and will always throw up plenty of challenges and gambling has an uncanny way of giving us an alternative to not deal with them , as we both know it ends up in disaster , financially it hurts but the mental damage it does and the way it makes you feel is harder to overcome

the good news is you have realised your problem and sought help , there is so much support and people who understand how you feel , the change is extremely hard and its the toughest journey to make , be kind to yourself if mistakes are made get back on track quickly and move on

the past we can't change the future we can , you have made a great start so keep posting and make full use of your diary and this site

i wish you all the best

Castle2

Yeah I think I have to take stock off what I have got.

Still got a tenancy

Also still have a good relationship with close family.

Also a car so things could be much worse....

nevertheless I know for a 100% if I fall into gambling in anyway it will be a lot worse,

Reading others people's stories and struggles help reassure Me that I can't gamble because I always know

the end result........

Letting family down example from my past, say I would spent time with them and then let them down

financial disasters no money to eat, pay rent ,get to work,

Thursday can't wait Till tomorrow then I can start to live my life again sick of being skint.

This week has been one of the worse for depression Been of work to try get my head right.I watched loads Off stuff on YouTube about peoples problems and its helped.

I know for sure I must not ever gamble......

I could not find the energy to get up and go to work, I can't go a other day without something to eat or drink at work, God only knows how many days that's happened

I have suffered for to long with this and can't answer why I haven't started this recovery before.

Don't get me wrong I have written a diary before but at home I stopped for two weeks, I have never been good at English and could not express myself well that's why that failed.

However I have worked out I must use all the barriers and why to help stop this time not just one.

This year my gambling had caused physical health problems I have a bad stomach and skin rash due to stress the reason am writing the done is as to act ad a memory aid n because I a week's time when it's all good ' I forget and start again..

After this morning i had a speak to the guys at work made up a good excuse for not being there because i do't like telling strangers to much of my business, that's why i like this site i can get it all out there..anyway i fine for work and i have had time to get to grips with this and the gloom is lifting..

I am ready to fight it ...

no more easy ride for the bookies from me 50 hours plus and i have lost it within half a hour ?????

Just got a major urge to gamble but managed to pass without incident,

Reminded myself and carried on

Well done you

I Will not bet today..

Hi buzz.

Well done on fighting that urge.

Remember we cannot win because cannot stop, so there is no point in playing.

Stay firm and strong

Suzanne xx