Rock bottom gets worse

Ha ha I chuckled at that last message on your diary posted by Scotty ??.

Trust you have had a productive and enjoyable day Lively and hope everything is running smoothly with your work. It must be very difficult trying to teach outside of the classroom environment. I imagine some students will adapt well but feel that it could make learning very difficult for others. 

The word out on the street is that you were having a healthy takeaway for your supper ????? that is excellent. You deserve lots of  treats because you are an absolute treasure who has behaved with honour, courage and integrity. 

Wishing you every happiness as you continue on your journey

Respectful best wishes from Stephen x 

Hello Lively ? ? ? just a flying visit to wish you a wonderful weekend.

I am over the moon with the poem you posted on my diary and am copying it with gel pens to put up in my kitchen alongside the other two gems. They really cheer me up.

Hope to see you in the chatroom tomorrow.

Stephen x  

Thank you for your post and kind words Stephen. I’m glad you liked the poem. 

Moving into day 66. Time is going quickly and two pays day have been and gone. All the bills are paid, I cleared another two debts this month and still have some money left over. I have had no urges since stopping this time and yet, last night I had a dream about gambling, which woke me up. I was annoyed with myself as I don’t want to gamble, have had no urges to but my brain is still playing tricks on me. Thankfully it was only a dream and I have no intention of going back to day 1. I am staying on this path for good. I have big plans for the next few years that I didn’t even think possible 66 days ago but already I can see that they could be possible as long as I abstain from gambling. 

I don’t miss gambling, or the stress, worry and sleepless nights that come with it. I can’t even remember what it is I even thought I enjoyed. It isn’t fun or remotely enjoyable and I don’t plan on wasting another second on gambling. And my subconscious mind can do one if it thinks it can trick me into thinking it could be fun -that’s not going to happen. 

I was playing a game tonight with my daughter online on my phone, those ones that have an ad between each go. I have noticed lately many of these are gambling related. My daughter even mentioned how many ads that pop up that are gambling related to games, etc...

it’s  awful that you can innocently want to play a game to keep occupied to be bombarded with stupid ads. It just shouldn’t be allowed. Thankfully, they’re not a trigger for me. If anything, they wind me up and definitely reinforce my negative view of gambling companies that do this but I do worry for those that it is a trigger. What they are allowed to get away with is unscrupulous. 

On a more positive note, I am happy and content and with the exception to the stupid dream, can lay in bed and go to sleep knowing I have had another gamble free day. 

Hope everyone has a good Sunday!

Lively

Well I could have been reading my own  diary when I was about your stage of gf. 

Those dreams annoy.. 

Pests they are 

But you are master of your mind. 

As  for the ads. Oh please they need to dissolve like sugar. They don't trigger me but its the fact of mental health issues that unsettles me god folk 

Anyway you enjoy your new contentment. 

Bye for now 

Boo ???

Hello Lively Lady.

A bird landed on my shoulder and whispered that you like Scrabble so thought I would post you a message with the letters jumbled up: ??

Hwsngii oyu a persu perdu eekw whti olts fo dlwi nda wnoderluf davetnrues.

Ghtin nthig 

Eewst remdsa

Htsepne x 

Lively I had a nightmare on weds just the same it felt so real I had to check bank to make sure I had not gambled . I have not been able to sleep well since then. Been so sleepy today your friend                            
      Scotty                                                           
 how was your banana cake ??

Great to see you in the chatroom Lively. You are a wonderful, compassionate soul with many attributes and your level headedness, wisdom and understanding have had a very positive influence on my recovery. Many thanks for your kindness.

I am just plucking up the courage to visit Tescos!

Will probably miss chat tonight as I am going to say hello to the Supermoon down by the riverside.

Wishing you a lovely day

Stephen x x x 

Thank you Boo, Scotty and Stephen for visiting my diary. The support and kind words always cheer me up when I come to visit my diary. 

Boo, thankfully I haven’t had anymore dreams and that talking to myself has done the tick for the time being ?

Scotty, I do hope you’re feeling a bit better after recent days. The banana cake was so good it only lasted a day ?. Each visit to the kitchen, it got smaller and smaller ?. 

Stephen, your words and support inspire me so lets continue to inspire and spur each other on. I hope you have a lovely walk this evening with the full light of the moon. ?

Day 68. 

The days seem to be passing quickly now and I still have no urges and I actually only ever think about anything gambling related when I visit the site. I don’t post as frequently as I don’t really have anything exciting to report. Today I feel a bit deflated and lacking motivation- a mixture of not enough sleep and not feeling amazing physically I think. But do you know what it made me realise, a bad day post-gambling is still better then a good day when I was gambling so it can’t really be that bad. ?

Not really had a productive day but I’m going to make up for it tomorrow. I’ve decided I’m going to have a very chilled evening and do very little in the hope to tomorrow I’ll be bursting with energy! Wishful thinking I know, but as long as I have my mental power it will be all good. 

Had a nice evening with my daughter yesterday sat down at the dining table doing some arts and crafts. It’s things like this that I missed but now I have all the time to change that and going to enjoy each and every moment like this. 

Not much else to say other then I hope everyone has a good evening. Not sure if I’ll join chat tonight or not. I like going in to show support as much as I can but sometimes, I find the negativity a bit too much and it dampens my mood so it can be counterproductive. 

Hoping everyone’s had a gamble free day. 

Lively

Hi lively thanks for your kind words it was so nice and a comfort you are such a kind and supportive lady who is always thinking  of others. I hope you have had lovey day in the sunshine take care your friend scotty ❤️❤️

Good evening Lively. Hope you have had a good day and feeling ok. 

Seventy days into your gamble free adventure which is simply wonderful.

Very proud of you ? ? ?.

Stephen x x x 

Wow Lively it really is a beautiful day.

I have felt quite emotional celebrating VE Day and am extremely thankful that I haven't had to live through a war. It would be nice if everybody could find a peaceful solution to their differences.

As always, it was lovely to see you in the chatroom earlier. You are a wise, wonderful and inspiring lady who always brings a happy smile to my face.

Many thanks

Stephen x 

Hi Lively.

Look forward to seeing you in the chatroom tomorrow at one.

Wishing you a lovely evening followed by a nice relaxing sleep and the bestest dreams ever.

Stephen x 

Wonder what's cooking in the Lively House tonight.

I am guessing you are preparing a pasta dish! ???

Hope it is deeeeelicccccous ??

Stephen x 

I bet it will be cooked lots of love ❤️?

scotty

For tonight’s delight, we’re having Katsu chicken and rice, onion and cucumber salad with poppadoms and dessert is still undecided. ??.