Rock bottom gets worse

Hi Scotty missed you in the chatroom. Hope to see you in there tomorrow lunchtime.

Lively I just read your post on Stace's diary and it brought a tear to my eye.

You are such a caring, compassionate soul with an excellent understanding of what we are all up against. 

Total respect to you

From Stephen x 

Ps. I got the meal wrong than ?? I thought I could smell a tasty bolognese lol

Stephen I will be we had street party with are neighbours today it was so nice we all sat and had a beer or two and a bbq keeping guidelines of course hope nice evening 

scotty

That sounds nice Scotty. It has been a very emotional day.

It is nice meeting up for a chat in Lively's Diary. It has a nice touch of class about it.

I might have a dance around my living room to Glen Miller before I retire for the evening.

Night night Scotty & Lively

Stephen x x 

Thanks scotty and Stephen for meeting in my diary - I feel honoured ?. Dinner went down a treat and was followed by ice cream with chocolate sauce. I hope you both have a lovely evening and a good Saturday. 

Day 71 -Day of reflection

When you can be anything, be kind!

No one knows what anyone else is going through and people are reaching out for support and kindness to get them through the day. Everyone’s circumstances are different, some much better and some much worse. Some days are good and some are bad, some can’t see their way out of the darkness and everyday is bad but this place should be about having a safe place to talk to others, without judgement and to get the support we maybe do not have at home. When someone is already feeling low, offer support, a cuddle in the form of words. We have all had awful times with this addiction, some have made more progress than others but never forget the turmoil and the loneliness you once felt when giving others advice. And if you can’t offer positive words, then say nothing. 

Everyone has different opinions on what is right but there are kind ways of putting things, in a supportive manner. I very much believe if you have nothing kind to say, then don’t say it at all. 

On this journey, we should be lifting each other up and giving support where there isn’t any, giving hope that the future will be better and lastly, being kind to ourselves and others.

Lively

Dear Lively

Thank you very much for your post and your thoughtful words. We very much agree that if you are not in a place where you can offer positive support it would be best to let others to find the right words.

You are also right that the forum and the chatroom are meant to be a safe place and admin and moderators are doing their best to keep it that way.

Thank you so much for all of your contributions on the forum and the chatroom, these are very much appreciated. 

Congratulations your continued recovery, I'm certain that you are an inspiration to those who are behind you on their journey.

Kind regards

Jo

Forum admin

Well done Jo from admin for giving Lively the recognition she deserves for such a delightful  post on her diary. 

I found the messages contained in Lively's words very moving.

The friendship, support and encouragement of gamcare friends is playing a massive part in my recovery and I believe that together we are stronger, more resilient and better able to overcome the challenges we face.

Stephen x x x 

I couldn’t agree anymore , this is lonely place without supporting each other , I was raised you haven’t got anything nice to say don’t say anything at all , one kind word or action can change someone’s whole day ?

Awww Lively, I have just spent the best part of an hour reading all 15 pages, you have made me cry and laugh and all I want to do is give you a big hug! (Although probably not a good idea, given the social distance!!)

I can understand completely how you have been feeling over the last few months and I am rejoicing that you didn't decide to end things like you stated in your first post and your wonderful daughter supported you, you must be a super mum to have raised such a wonderful daughter!

So I stopped gambling March 27th and have been free of the pain since then without any urges at all, I know my trigger and have my coping strategies in place and have a counsellor who I speak to on a weekly basis. Although I don't have a child, my worry was telling my parents so like you and your daughter my fear was what their reaction would be, my parents mean the world to me and this was my 4th time that I had relapsed, so I knew they would be super mad at me. Like your daughters reaction though, they weren't mad as instantly said, " We want to help you" so obviously I just burst into tears and opened up completely, and now 9th May no urges or anything! I won't bore you with all my story, but I had to message you after reading your experience and I wish you the very best! 🙂

We are all here to support each other, Gamcare really do Care!

Jon

Just popped by to wish you every happiness over the coming week Lively.

You are a wise, caring, and compassionate lady who is very helpful and kind.

Many thanks for being the delightful person you are.

Stephen x 

Hello dear friend. Just thought I would pop by and say hello.

I asked myself earlier how I would describe Lively and here is what I came up with: "A conscientious  lady who likes everything to be Shipshape And Bristol Fashion," to coin an old nautical term.

Well unfortunately, at the moment, the world seems to be standing on its head and no doubt you have concerns about your family and friends plus the students and colleagues at your place of work. Working from home is all well and good but I imagine you miss the camaraderie of the workplace.

However, it is important to remember that there is a limit to what you can do to solve the world's problems and it is imperative that you do not lose sight of your own goals.

As well as being supportive to your family and friends you are hard working, supportive and professional at work.

However, you must continue to show yourself kindness, understanding and respect. One cannot overestimate the importance of this journey of recovery whereby we are ridding our lives of the insidious influence of gambling addiction.

I only mention this because these are stressful times and for many compulsive gamblers, including myself, stress can be used by the addiction to catch us unawares.

In June we will both be passing the 100 Day GF mark and that will be a proud moment for you and me both.

Many thanks for your wise words of advice plus your support and encouragement and not forgetting your wonderful sense of humour which keeps me smiling.

Stephen x x x 

Aww thank you Stephen, my lovely, good spirited friend. Those are such kind and thoughtful words and also very grateful that you spend time thinking about my well being. You are right, I am a perfectionist and I like everything to be in order. I also hate to see others around me suffering, whether it be family, friends or strangers as no one deserves to suffer on their own. 

You are right about the stress factor - for me it is an interesting one and maybe a double edged sword. I thrive under pressure and stress, providing it doesn’t become overwhelming and I guess that is the important factor for me, is to learn to recognise that and to manage it in a healthy way. 

I also have often neglected myself and self care to put others around me first and have acknowledged this as a problem which I am now both aware of and looking after. I think that is why I found the gambling side to me the hardest to deal with because it is everything I’m not in every other aspect of my life. Outside of that, I am totally honest, caring about others, sometimes to a fault and will always offer a helping hand. I’m am grateful you are looking out for me. ?

Id like to assure you despite all of that I am in a good place and if I find that things are affecting me then I will step back and re-evaluate but for the time being, I have control over every aspect of my life; something I’ve never had before. My natural instinct is to support and nurture, to listen and not judge so at times I get frustrated when others aren’t but I guess we are all very different. 

Today is day 74, and your right, it won’t be that long until we are both hitting the 100 day mark. Something I look forward to and know for certain will be upon us very soon. Thank you for all of your support so far, it really does mean the world. You too Stephen, are a kind hearted, wonderful positive soul who I am very pleased to have met to walk this journey together. ?

Lively

That was a heartwarming post Lively and very inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

It was pleasant in the lunchtime chatroom today and the icing on the cake was you popping in there during your lunch break.

Keely Chatmod said that as far as gamcare is aware, the Peeraid chats will still be on this week!

Wishing you a super duper Monday

Stephen x 

Lively I  hope your headache Gets better thinking of you take care Xx.                      
   Scotty ???❤️❤️ 

Hello Lively. Hope you are feeling better and your headache has gone.

Wishing you a relaxing nights sleep with pleasant, soothing dreams followed by a super duper Wednesday.

Please don't work too hard. It is not wise to sit at your desk for long periods. You need to make time to care for yourself. Loosening up, stretching out and maybe having a nice leisurely stroll in the woods or do some breathing exercises in the garden (without a ciggie lol).

Take care

Stephen x 

Hello Lively ? hope you are feeling better.

Wishing you a happy day with smiles upon your face

Have sent you lots of healing vibes to medicate your space

With lots of hugs and laughter to brighten up your day

For you are very special in each and every way

Stephen x