SadG wants to be happyG

good for you. why ya waiting till monday to pay them bills if ya dont mind me asking? got paid today and toss pretty much all my cash at the bills and food. kinda leaves me broke but safe with gambling till the next pay day.

Sad g, hows things? Been reading your diary and a massive well done to you, it's true what you say about gambling, it would be like letting our gamcare family down too, were in this together, have a lovely weekend my friend

Simmo

I get paid monthly and most of my bills are set up to go out by direct debit on 1st banking day of the month. Gotta wait till Monday with all that money sitting there but it's ok. I'm in a very strong state of mind at the moment. If I was feeling a weakness I'd transfer the money straight out.

I looked at the football games on today. Fancied a small £3 accumulator. Had a quick look, picked a few teams out and then had a feeling of guilt and cancelled it all. I'm not even addicted to football betting or bookies. Never have been. My vice has always been online casinos but I can't help feeling I shouldn't even bet on football. I'm not a gambler any more. How do I determine what's acceptable? If I've never been addicted to sports betting is a £3 accumulator every Saturday ok to do? I just feel like I probably shouldn't be gambling in any form if I truly want to kick my addiction. I realise that what starts as a £3 accumulator could turn into something much worse should my gambling 'red mist' descend on me again. I'll leave it I think. Just answered my own question there as I was writing this.

Too much to do today. Too busy to contemplate gambling. It's the 1st December!!!!!! My little one has already smashed in the first door of his Advent calendar and hasn't stopped pestering me this morning to go in the loft and get the tree and decorations down. Today I will be getting the house decorated for Christmas and not gambling. Time to *** on.

Good luck today everyone.

Well done sad g,well done for keeping strong,and I think you're wise by not putting your small acca on the footy,you never know wot that mite lead too,especially if it won.

My little girls have got there own way and got the tree up today,xmas is here! Ho ho ho. Keep strong the wkd,you will feel great come monday when all those direct debits are out the way.

you are right sadg, any bet will only start the kick again ! imagine it had won ? what next..... i have realised i can not do any gambling however small.... keep it up my friend !

Hi SadG

In an earlier post you said you are trying to retrain your brain and change your mindset. That £3 acca keeps you tied to the gambling mindset regardless of its outcome.

You are doing the right thing and distancing yourself from gambling in any form and well done for not placing that bet. The more distance you put between you and gambling the stronger you get, a payday without a bet is a big step forward. Well done and keep strong, hope you enjoy the christmas decorating.

Thanks guys. You just strengthened what I already knew.

I'm glad I didn't place that bet. It does keep me tied to gambling. I don't even know whether it would have won and I don't care.

Christmas decs are up thanks mainly to my wonderful wife. She's great at decorating the house for Xmas. House is looking very Christmassy.

Having a nice relaxing Sunday with the family. No interest in gambling. No urges today at all. Thanks again everyone. Your support means the world. There will be no gambling today. Sad G is becoming happy G bit by bit, day by day.

G

Well done sadg you know you cant put a £3 bet on as it leads to worse things were gamblers we know where it leads but well done staying strong mate Xmas is coming let's be strong together and enjoy Xmas with money in our pocket and be free of wondering if we can get a bet on somewhere or online casino that we can get to, we may be able to relax for a change with a James bond film and tin of quality street :))) stay strong my friend.

Day 18

Up early today with my kids. 1 is sick so no school today, the other is off to college.

Me? I'm just chuffed to have got through payday weekend without gambling. It's a small victory but I know every payday will be a challenge. For today I'm giving myself a bit of a pat on the back. There were a few urges over the weekend but this site helped me keep my focus. Cheers to everyone who helped me through it. Bear and DarkPlace you are my rocks as always. You have been for 18 days now.

Got enough to keep me busy to keep my mind occupied. Things to do, pressies to buy. There will be no gambling today.

G

Well done sadg brilliant mate happy shopping today keep the strength up I'm on day 6 today it's tough but were tougher stay strong have a great day :).

Sad g, well done on your progress ,my friend I very nearly had a slip up today mate but pulled through!!! All the best

well good for you and got through my pay day weekend as well. better days on the horizon for us as long as we keep our noses clean. congrats

Good morning everyone. Another crappy day if weather in England but it won't dampen my spirits because I am on the way to being a full-time ex gambler!!! Ok need to calm myself. Coming up for 3 weeks but feeling good.

Last night I looked back through my bank statement from last month. It was pure humiliation for me. I went through a full range of emotions just looking at all the online casino action I was involved in the first 2 weeks of November. It was a big blow out. Cost me 1000's. I'll look back on it maybe as a turning point because since 16th Nov I've seen a new way to live my life. I have been gamble free and intend to stay that way. Gonna take years to sort out my debts.

Was sitting in the car waiting to pick up my wife yesterday and was constantly shaking my head thinking about how much money I've blown. I have these moments all the time at random but I guess you have to be an ex gambler to have these moments. When you're still gambling you don't think with a clear head. Now I'm finished with it I have moments of reflection regularly. It's making me stronger to no gamble again but also angry at myself for living such a greedy selfish life. The life I could have given my wife and kids. I have a lot of things to make up for. My eldest son has probably noticed a change in me. He used to ask me for £5 or £10 to go out with his mates and I used to refuse and moan at him for always asking for money(teenagers), lecturing him about getting a job. That night I may go and lose £500/£1000 or more online. Who am I to be giving the lectures on money when I have a terrible gambling addiction. I've been giving my son more money over the last 3 weeks. Nothing much, £3 here and there just so he can go out with his mates but no lectures. I'm the one that needs the lectures on money management. He's done nothing wrong. In time as I get my finances in order I hope to give my kids the financial support they deserve.

Enough ramblings for today. Just sharing some of my thoughts. Feeling strong. There will be no gambling today. Good luck everyone.

G

Brilliant diary page mate yep it all sounds so familiar to me my bank statements are scary for me too 6k in 7k out it's stupid all the time consumed on losing money and taking up our lives keep up the good work fella your doing brilliant stay strong.

Hello mate,

I'm gonna start Calling you happyg lol, well done keep up the good work, were all with you, it's so true what you say about just shaking your head at the thought of all the money we've lost. It's like the money ain't real or like virtual money, I've also done the same looking back at bank statements in disbelief wondering what the hell I was doing , its all in the past now, we can't change the past but we've got the future to look forward, all the best mate

Simmo