Starting Again

You have certainly come to the right place.

Can I ask what is it you gamble on ?

I've been here many times and keep f*****g up.

Roulette is my enemy and I hate it, yet always go back.

I haven't gone amonth clean for years. I want to get to Xmas gamble free and then I think I might be able to look at life in a positive way!

Hi Dean

Good to see you started a new thread, the fact you've done that means you want to stop. Sometimes when I'm in the zone I don't come on here for ages. This is always the first step.

How did you gamble yesterday, are you self excluded from all the bookies?

Believe me, gambling everything to make it go away won't work. I once bet 4k on a match. Odds were low but it was a dead cert. Only stood to make 1k but didn't care. Needless to say it didn't win and it took me another 10 months to pay back the 4k.

My life was nearly ruined many times by the fobt and the roulette , 17 was my number and when it came in I was on top of the world , when 34 or 25 dropped in and tickled my number on the way past I was absolutely gutted.

The near misses made me chase and chase and chase , shaking , moving with the ball , swearing , shouting , sweating , completely turned off from everything around me , i was like an alian.

I have some how now been clean from the roulette for three weeks , I have accepted any losses are now gone and trying to build my life back together.

I know your heavily in debt but even in a few days you will be suprised at the amount of money you save

I've had that horrible realisation of a big loss hangover and keep thinking of the 800 pound a month I will be spending on my debt over the next few years. I'm only on an 18k basic so am going to have to work so hard to get more.

Can't believe a few years ago I had 12k worth of debt and was panicking. Look at me now...

Does that mean you'll stop now then?

Hi , I have read your thread this evening and it has struck a chord with me, I know exactly what you are going through and it's hell.

I think when you owe all this money out its a constant reminder how bad you have let things get and also summarise how much a failure you have been, If the debt was gone you would feel awesome .... But then you may gamble again as you don't have the responsibility, vicious circle.

I owe thousands of pounds out , money that could of helped pay a chunk of my mortgage off or pay other debts accumulated by normal living, but no my debts a gambling debts, tragic.

I have took some radical steps the last few days , I have self excluded myself from sites , local betting shops and told my partner that I have a compulsive gambling condition, this was really hard to admit to people that I have a problem and the embarrassment of going into the shops to ask to self exclude myself, however looking at it; it wasn't that bad .... The betting shops helped me and advised me to go and teak a break and my partner has told me I'm a P***k but we will get through it.

Long story short you are not alone, you need to sit and spend time reading some of the stories on here , you will see lots of people have similar issues and all want out, I think it's time to put your self first and say no from now on, I would advise taking some of the steps I have, I have not gambled for two days now and had money in my pocket, pretty hard to gamble when every knows you have a problem and no gambling shops or sites will accept your money!

I actually feel better that people know, in regards to your debt could you not go in to a DMP , of course this will hurt you credit rating for a number of years but at least you will be paying down the debt and not just interes, lastly the credit card companies will no longer lend so you can't get deeper in debt, not a professional opionion but I would suggest seeking fiancial advise.

Good luck , keep your chin up and your money in your pocket.

Dean

Fella I am slightly gutted you have chosen to start a new thread,because the honourable Captain46 taught myself a very valuable lesson about recovery

That the truth is the journey starts the very first day you admit gambling is beyond your own control.

Yes the pages are painful reminders of loss and lesson's not being learnt,but are part of your recovery none the less.

You are at a crossroads fella

one road leads to recovery,the other an uncertain one,one hand says you may win and clear all the debt,the other you will gamble until you really do have nothing left,by that I mean nothing,alot more loss than just financial to boot.

Is it worth taking a chance??

Only you can answer that

I hope the choice gifts you the life you want.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Brad, I hope, I mean I WANT to stop now.

Thanks for the words guys and comments, good to see people there supportinh.

Dunc, what you said makes sense and I didn't realise about keeping the same thread to remind me. Too late now though! Problem is I have a reminder every hour of the day thinking about my debt. I need 2,500 each month to have an average life and clear my debts over the next few years. Madness.

I am on day4 of gamble free and still very raw like it always is. Woul dlove to live a normal life and not always worry and then gamble!

Dean

Fella this journey is bespoke you have to find a way to put the debt into it's place.

The truth is the financial element of gambling addiction for me is the easiest to repair,f**k we are used to having a champagne lifestyle on lemonade money in the fact we whilst active waste our hard earned,so now in recovery the money used effectively actually gifts the ability to life a lifestyle desired.

Funny because for me in my own gambling life the reason for my relentless pursuit of the 'big' win was because rather than actually enjoy what I had I wanted to be the charlie big potatoes I saw looking over the fence,I really did think the grass was greener and wanted it. Even worse I wanted it without putting in any effort.

Today I get more joy out of saving a ten pound note by shopping in that German supermarket than any session in front of the fobt.

The thing is Dean and it is true fella

The day you stop gambling because you want it more than placing that get out of jail bet you really will start winning.

Yes financially you will be in a hole,today is 1001 days since I entered recovery and I am still paying a third of my earnings to debt,gambling debt,debt I made and will honour.

But that is just a symptom of recovery

The life it gifts for free is the big picture.

Be kind to yourself

Enjoy it.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Hi Dean

Some great advice already so i'll keep it short. I think everyone on this forum knows exactly what you are going through right now. Don't be tempted by further gambling to decrease debt, it won't work. Also, you need to put as many blocks in place as possible, betfilter, self exclusion etc.

I've been back here many times too and the more i come back the more i become complacent thinking i know what i'm doing. But this time i've had to go back to basics and put every block in place and it is helping mate.

You can do it, you will do it, you have to do it,

Its not going to be easy but like Duncan says, you can still have a great life gamble free but still pay debt back, I'm sure that's what everyone on here is doing.

Try not to focus too much on the money and try living life again, you'll get much more enjoyment out of it.

Good luck, take care and look after yourself

James

Hi Dean how are you getting on. Have you considered any debt management options to help you out?

Well I am now on 2 weeks clean but nothing new there as done this a few times. Everyday is a struggle in my head dealing with the debt. I haven't looked at any debt management yet as I'm holding out as long as possible. I do feel like I am delaying the inevitable. Anyway onwards and upwards!

Well that's 18 days done and I feel at my lowest. I think that i am too late as my debt will become unmanageable. Scared shitless to be honest. My partner just been talking about houses when I have all my debt hanging over me.

i want to pay it all off but don't think I can at the moment. Part of me thinks take the easy option but then no one would touch me for 6 years. Probably longer then it would take to pay off.

I am in a no win situation. Need help, advice, 30k?!!'