The value of money.

Hi Skeletor.

I wish you well with your recovery. Keep chalking up the days, you will find a lot of support and encouragement on this board.

I like the title, and I think it has various applications to gambling. For example - when I read the title of your thread it made me remember that during my gambling days, and more specifically whilst I was stood by an FOBT or logged into a casino online.... for that brief period of time money had no discernible tangible value for me. The credits were just numbers rolling around the screen mostly diminishing. This was one of the things I decided made gambling all the more dangerous I did not equate the 300 i deposited with a part payment on my mortgage, with a weekend out for my family, with a new mobile phone, with a payment on the new car my wife needs to replace her wheezing old shed. I didnt equate the money to anything, it was just a pile of gambling tokens that facilitated a few more spins, a bit more time.

Recalling it now, I dont think I even remembered the value of money when I was winning. I think a very large win gave me a buzz, but again I didnt remember the value of money enough to actually withdraw it and stop. And if you dont realise the value of money when you are winning... when you think about it, that actually negates the entire reason for gambling in the first place (or I guess, conversely it proves you are gambling for a reason other than financial gain, such as to escape for while, it proves you are gambling compulsively and that you are addicted).

Scarily the only times that I really remembered the value of money was when, usually after an evening of chasing losses and not really adding up the true extent of the nights financial damage... I would suddenly have a pang of panic, of fear, of shame, stupidity as I logged off for the evening *then* and only then would I think about the intrinsic monetary value of what I had lost.

And the killing joke of course is that despite the feeling of sickness in the pit of my stomach, right then, I would still somehow find a way to rationalise that away by the next time I hit the deposit button again at the start of the next binge.

So. A good choice of title i think, we would all do well to remember the value of money, and the *real* costs of what we gamble.

Best Regards,

FM

Hi FM,

Thank you for such a brilliant reply. There are some skilled communicators on this forum, very good writers.

I think your post nails it. There really is no tangible value to the money you have in your gambling account. The reason for me is because that value is not fixed. Whilst there is some money in the account there is real hope of winning back all that you are trying to win. As soon as the last bet falls wide of the mark, only then is the hope extinguished. As soon as the hope is gone, reality kicks in. And yes - you're spot on, once you have recovered from that pain, and said that you will never do it again, there is a small rekindling of that hope, and three or four days later you're back, chipping away at the new loss total.

It's absurd. Actually it's the definition of the clown. The clown tries earnestly to complete a gesture or task which has never truly succeeded, to amuse us. We already know the outcome so we can watch him hopefully fail. Which is a long-windedly way of saying that right now I'm a clown. (Skeletor, from the kids tv show he-man is my username. He was exactly this character. Each week he sets out to defeat he man. Each week he fails.)

So that's that. I know I will want to go back. 'Just one more try, just win a bit back.' But this time I have to say no. And somehow be proud of that.

Thanks again for your post.

Skeletor