"TALES FROM THE OTHER SIDE"

A big thank you for your post Jac, you are so right and I have taken steps to use that barrier ( hubby)

Hope your health is not too bad, all the best to Jim. your input is always so valued here.

Just like Willie said..... I couldnt say it any better.

Love

W xxx

Hello,

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to write messages on here. Its very kind of you & whilst I appreciate very much the words and feedback, I also find it a bit strange!.... God I wish I was better at writing, this sounds ungrateful now! lol.

What I mean is... I'm nothing special (but ty Willie x) Just someone who has battled & been to war with this addiction from a different side, for a long time. If my 'waffling' helps... I'm glad. If it doesnt... I'm sorry!

Read this today on someones diary from 'Self Inflicted' and I wanted to put it in mine. Hope you don't mind SI.

Those who do not learn through history are bound to have to live through it again.

Stay strong everyone

Jackie x

Hi Jac, just popping by and read your last post. I think the thing i admire most about you Jac is that even during ill health you are always around lending an ear and supporting others, caring and sharing.

Even during days like today when i sit here pontifivcating life (big word eh?..lol) just seeing you around and posting lifts my spirits and gives me hope.

Lots of love

Keith x

Hi Jackie

Thank you for your post, I am working on ME time, it's kind of hard this week as we have the kids all week who incidentally Ian still hasn't told or faced the situation with them, I tried talking about it with him again last night and he's showing signs that he wants to keep on hiding it despite the son asking questions and taking part in the lottery, I noticed yesterday his son was laughing at the scratch card ads! i think it's about time he faced the problem, it's been 2 months since the question of whether to tell them or not has arisen.

The above is negative I know but I also know he has done well so far and I've done my best to support him, but from now it is me who is important, I have the docs on Friday then after that I think a weekend away with mum may be in order!

I hope your op went well and you get your sleeping patterns back to normal and that you, Jim and your family are OK.

Best Wishes

Rachel

Bouncing you up where you belong. Thanks for the email and continuing support which has been invaluable.

love Keith xx

Jackie,

Just wanted to say thanks for your ;ovely post to me, from you especially it means a lot to me 🙂

I hope anyone who supports a gambler would get even a little something from my post on the supporting thread.

Hope you are feeling better, wishing yu and Jim a good weekend.

Love

W xxx

Just letting that wife of mine know that she is the best woman in the world and I would be lost without her and wouldn't even swop her for Christina Aquilera!!!

So pull yourself together Jaqueline and just believe that I will always love you no matter how bloody ill you get.

Pehaps you will believe it written on here as you dont seem to believe it when I tell you.

I will always be here for you and we will take on your illness together. Just like we have always taken on lifes problems together.

Jim (last bet 22/04/06)

Jackie,

Just a quick note to say thanks for posting on my diary back on aug 10 (it's much appreciated) and apologies for not returning the compliment sooner.

Have just finished reading your diary (the time spent was well worth it) and you ceratinly tell it how it is and that's the way it should be. Only a CG's partner/wife can tell your story it simply cannot be made up.

Recovery can be painful but it's great to read that Jim and yourself have thrown yourselves completely into it.

Starting your own GAMANON mtg,Jim forming a GA group and you both posting on GC is....says you are both great examples to us all and shows you what can be achieved.

You mentioned in your diary an extremely important word........COMPLACENCY....

"There are 3 times when we should pay this illness all the respect that it is due .The first is when we feel good and strong and things are going well for us.The second is when we are down and things are not going our way.The third is all times inbetween".

..........thanks for reminding me of this.

I hope life is being kind to you today as you certainly deserve it.

A day at atime will become a lifetime

Best Wishes

John

Jac

Just read the first section of your diary and it has scared the **** out of me! I am only a month into my recovery - don't think i was getting complacent BUT you never know with this disease. However, since reading your story and Jim's - I have adopted an even more resolute approach to ensure that i do not fall back into the clutches of this way of life.

Your story is honest, gritty and compelling reading - telling exactlt how it is - thanks for taking the time to warn others of the dangers we face on a daily basis.

Tiodaat

Jac,

Thanx for your support in chat earlier it really is appreciated.

As you said lets just take it one day at a time. You're a very understanding person.

Best Wishes

John

Thank you John for ploughing your way through my diary. It was great meeting you in chat today. Hope to catch up with you again sometime. Keep strong... great stuff 50 days clean, well done.

Tioaat, Hi. Sorry if the first part scared you... maybe you should read the rest! lol

It can be scary stuff this addiction and the little 'gambling demons' that sit on your shoulders, especially in the early days of stopping will try everything possible to get you to have a bet... don't be fooled. They get fed up & go if you don't feed them 🙂

Now JAMES... don't Jacqueline me!!!! (people have died for less) lol. and I've told you before 'Christina' wouldn't put up with you 😉

Thanks for visiting my diary. I didn't really like you putting it there for all to see, kinda embarrassing.... I'm not ill, just having a flare up & feeling sorry for myself. You have been so brilliant this year. Its your support that gets me through, keeps me going.

I started feeling a bit better yesterday, so all good.

Its just when the pain gets unmanageable, I forget all the advice I give on here to others about dealing with things on a day at a time basis.

My thoughts go rushing off to the future, everything seems a mess... off sick since March, loss of my wages. New hip is wonderful but the more I progress with its rehabilitation the worse the rest of my body is getting. I also have Psoriasis, developed it in my late 20's was mild. Last year at the same time my hip decided to pack up the psoriasis also went mental (there is a form of arthritis that is psoriatic, its looking like I have that as well as osteo)

I had uvb treatment, early part of year but it broke through a week after the course stopped. Prescribed awful drugs to try & clear my skin for the operation, they were evil with lots of serious side effects. Apparently if my skin wasn't clear where they were going to open me up, the psoriasis would go to the wound & mess up its healing!

Anyway long story short, the drugs did their job. I take lots of tablets every day for various chronic conditions that I've been blessed with and in July I was so fed up with the side effects I told my Dermatologist that I was stopping them, that I could handle any flares.... guess what I cant!!

So with 24/7 pains, limbs that wont do what I want and a body that is sooooo attractive with widespread psoriasis... not to mention the weight gain from such an inactive lifestyle this last year (& much stuffing of face 😉 ) I get a bit fed up.

Jim works so hard then comes home & does so much for me & the family, I worry its all too much. Everything at home has to altered & changed because of me & I hate it. Apart from recovering from major surgery my conditions bring with them extreme fatigue, it doesn't take much to wipe me out nowdays. I was use to being so independent. I cant help worrying about the future and then worry what effect the lack of finances will have on Jim's recovery. We talk about it all. Jim tells me it will all work out but I cant seem to stop worrying... complete madness!

I didn't intend to write all this when I started, so sorry... mad woman left alone on computer! lol

Last night (I don't sleep well since all this started but don't worry, I wont bore you with that) I was still up at 2pm. I could here the animals so I went and sat in the back garden (said I was mad) It was dark & peaceful, know one around except the sounds of the Lions and apes with the odd call from the wolves every now & then. It was wonderful.

I thought to my self how lucky I am, privileged in fact to have the sounds of these animals from my back garden. No light pollution where we live, just darkness and my very own 'Kenya'. What have I got to complain about.

Whatever your problems... dealing with them one day at a time is all it takes. I must enjoy today, why waste it worrying.

Jim thank you, I love you with all my heart. xxx

Jackie you are an amazing lady, straight talking and supportive too.

As you know I have a few health problems too Polymyalgia and blood pressure, overwight too now through the pain and lack of exercise ( ans comfort eating)

Thankfully I can still work 4 days a week but its a struggle and sometimes I get down and worry about the future as well.

As you would always say worrying doesn't help, the future will come and we will deal with it then.

I am so happy for you anf Jim because despite all the cr** with health issues you have so much together now.

Thanks for your support over this laast year or so and I envy your own Africa lol

W xxxx

Hi Jac,

Just a quick note to say thanks for the support, it really helps to get other peoples opinions and views on things, I know what you are saying makes a lot of sense and it obviously comes from hard earned experience, which we all have to go through to come to terms with our LOT.

You have made it through the really tough times and come out the other side, that is what Rach and I are now going through and it reassures me to know that it is possible to support each other and still have a solid relationship at the end, because there are times when it feels as though the world is going to end and I will lose the one thing that has kept me from going back to the dark days before I quit, I will do anything to rebuild my life/relationship/trust with Rach and I know that it will take time, but it is difficult to see an end to all this misery and heartbreak.

In one of your posts you mentioned e-mail, you can contact Rach at [email protected] as she is not posting at the moment.

Thanks again Jackie, Ian

Jac, thank you so much for your post on my diary, i means a lot coming from you.

Sorry to hear how you have been struggling with your health and the pain you are going through. Life sometimes just isnt fair.

I can understand your concerns about the money and how it can sometimes affect a persons recovery, but Jim is strong, loves you to bits and i cant see anything breaking the J team can you?..lol

Your description of sitting in the garden just hearing the animals sounds idyllic. I miss having a garden as i live in an upstairs flat. If i sit in darkness at 2am all i can normally hear is my neighbours shagging so think yourself lucky my girl!!

Thank you once again for your invaluable support.

Lots of love

Keith x

Hi Jackie,

So sorry, but before I post what I want to, I have got to LMAO at Keith saying that all he can hear in the dark at 2am in his flat is the neighbors shagging. o*g...thanks for the laugh.

Now, Jackie, thank you so much for your wonderful response to me on my diary. As others have said, it truly does mean alot coming from you.

I have not read your diary, but going to start later tonight. I love to dig into new diaries so I am looking forward to it.

I am so sorry to read of your health conditions. I am the wife of someone who has lots of medical conditions too. I can totally relate to you having to take lots of medication for them. My husband has diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiac problems, acid reflux disease, thyroid cancer and about five more lovely chronic conditions I will not bore you with. He has so many medications and so many that cannot be taken within x amount of hours within each other that he actually has to get up at 5am to start taking them and does not finish taking them until 10pm.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with the health conditions that you have. I think I understand your worries about the stress that it could cause between you and Jim. I just want to tell you that as my husband's wife, I could not possibly love him any less because of his health problems. If anything I love him more because of what he deals with and the grace with which he deals with it. Sure there are times that we both have frustrations, but they are really frustations with his conditions, not each other.

I pray that things get somewhat easier for you soon. I will be popping back in to post when I have finished reading your diary.

Love,

Julie