So this topic is two fold. For the second part im going to try and explain my thoughts and hope it makes sense
Everyone knows about chasing and we've all done it. The first day I gambled I was chasing losses. It's just financial whether I was chasing losses, a jackpot or feature, it was simply the money and not allowing myself to be beaten. On occasions where the miracle come back took place, I would feel 5 seconds of relief before thinking, I can't waste all this time without turning over a profit and kept going. Chasing was chaotic with no thought of consequences. None of the maths would make sense
So part 2. To an extent , even when I started, gambling wasn't about the money and it wasn't chasing it..Following on from my Superman topic yesterday, I was chasing being Superman. I simply wasn't that confident person I wanted to be. I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin,.lacking in self worth and didn't think I was enough. So gambling wasn't just an escape, it made me feel like someone else. I wanted to be cool and assured which I was chasing
Hi Stuart excellent topoc chasing was the main issue now thinking back at it their were times where i would be in a massive hole and somehow i would make the loses back my brain would shift saying i spent all this time now i should make some money as u know in action winning lossing is the same same thing i believed in my head i got smarter i would plan things if i win x amount i will buy such and such thing which rarely happened and when it did and i managed to buy stuff i would always end up pawning the stuff when i was in that time of environment gambliers always boast about their winnings and what they were able to do like if gambling was some kind of money making scheme i started believing in this and i just thought i was just unlucky another thing i never counted my losess the 10k casino jackpots felt enticing as an addict the fobt i did realise along time it wasent sustainable however i didnt understand it was the compulsion which kept me in the action now looking back everything makes sense as the odd time i did manage to win why did i go back to fobt i didnt understand why so it clearly wasent about the money this is what i now clearly understand
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