This is it!

Going to the cinema tonight with a friend, usually at this point in the month my money would be gambled away and I'd have to make an excuse not to go. I realise how far I've come this month

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Another gamble free day, more of an achievement for me on weekend as I sports gambled. I can see light at the end of the tunnel and realise how much I've been neglecting myself. Mentally more so as I haven't confided in anyone

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I'm really enjoying your diary and great to see you've chosen life over misery. Fantastic and inspires me, and doubtless many other good people here. As you point out, the extra cash, and how you are using it, is spreading good vibes not just for you but your nearest and dearest. Wonderful stuff Kadiz.

​Thank you Mixer. After wasting 7 years of pointlessness' both in terms of time and money I am starting to appreciate the little things like going to the cinema last night and out for lunch today such a relief not making excuses because I couldn't afford to go. Definitely seeing the benefits of a gamble free life in just a few weeks.

Kadiz, yours is one of my favourite diaries on here. I am with you, shoulder to shoulder, all the way.

Thanks Mixer means a lot as I have not confided in anyone about my gambling my only means of support is on here.

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Now that my mind is no longer consumex by gambling, the never ending cycld of winning a little, losng more and then fruitlessly trying to recoup losses. I am thinking of the new and exciting possibilities that life gamble free now has to offer. Not just in terms of material things as not gambling will obviously lead to having more disposable money but just having a clearer head and being able to focus on other things.

I am no longer going to focus on the losses and think about what i could have done with my hard earned money like a deposit for a house for example, as that like gambling itself is a waste of time and more miportantly energy. Energy has been drained from me for too long. I dont want to think about how am I going to cope without gsmblimg in my life but am now thinking i am not going to be able to cope or function with gambling in my life. It has stunted my life in so many ways having to keep it all a secret and relationships as ive not had one since i started gambling, which says it all, there was literally only room for gambling in my life.

Fresh start and am positive and looking ahead to the new year and all the exciting possibilites that await with out gambling.

Day 36 done & dusted.Feeling positive, still have some money left after Christmas presents & bills. Can focus on other things now rather than an evening spent chasing losses.

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Another day done. In a terrible mood, feel anxious & tired. Need to shake off the way I feel.

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Hi kadiz, I am with you all the way. It is not easy. Grit your teeth, like I am doing, and learn to hate these f- ers that have been ruining your life for too long. Keep strong my friend.

Still in a foul mood just need to suck it up.

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Keep going Kadiz , this is like going through a stitch on a long run. It WILL get better.

Thank you. Even though I don't feel like myself and am feeling down, I don't feel like betting which I suppose is progress.

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It is progress. What you're doing is training your brain away from these poisonous and destructive activities. Your brain is rebelling a little bit. But it will soon, sooner than you think, come out of its sulk because you've chosen some much more affirming - life itself. Your brain will start to thank you! Stick with it.

Day 40! Finished work today until the New Year onwards and upwards.

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