This is it before I self destruct!!!

***er, 31st December 2015!!! ha ha ha

Yes you will NT!!! 🙂 x

Hi Mel, thank you for commenting on my diary. I have just read yours and well done on your achievement! You have shown real commitment to stopping this dreadful poison taking charge of your life. Good luck and keep up the good work xx

Hi Mel, just dropping by to offer my support & congratulate you on your work so far! I know you don't want to keep count but you surpassing your previous effort on a day that means so much to you is testament to your strength! Keep kicking - ODAAT

Hi Diary,

Just checked in for the 2015 Challenge and I am now on day 10 = double figures, yey! Not easy but staying away from gambling sites.

I have just been looking at PD Loans and due to new legislation by FCA charges have been capped at .08% a day! I wonder how long it will be before they go out of business....? Anyways, good news for us who have debts and poor credit scores!!!

Roll on April when I will be free of them!!

Mel x

barney2909 wrote:

Thanks so much for your support Suzanne and Stephen! 😉 feeling ok today and no gambing urges. Helps being back in work and keeping my brain occupied on better things!!

Yeh, 5th January will always be a sad sad day for us but hoping in time will be happy memories - I lost my granda 7 months before my stepdad (so basically had 3 funerals within 18months!) but its not so easy to come to terms with losing people when they are young...my stepdad was 57 and my friend was 32 - my age!! its just not right, she had children too, so no idea how they coped last xmas without their mum...kind of puts my problems into perspective really. I will repair the damage my gambling binges have done to us and I will learn to have a 'life' again. I should be so grateful that I am healthy and able to think about a future, some of the conversations had with both cancer stricken loved ones had to resign to the fact they were not going to have one. So, I am so determined to kick this addiction and get a life!! lol!

Clare - It will be amazing 'when' we can say a full year gamble free on the 31st January 2015! We can do this!! 🙂 🙂 and we have money in the bank, our kids savings are healthy again and the future will be looking a hell of a lot better than it was at the end of 2014!

Mel x

Certainly will Mel, celebrating our success will be fabulous at the end of this year. I'm feeling confident in both of us and really pleased to keep checking on your diary and seeing you're still gamble free. Well done you. I'm same ... Being back at work is really helping me avoid gambling. I'm tired at night and thankful in a way I don't 'have to ' gamble at night time when I've done all my work.

Keep up the good work. Let's hope you and I always stay four days apart 🙂 I'm rooting for you !!!

Clare xx

Ps good news about pd loans. Thankfully I don't have any but good news for people like yourself who do. Roll on April for you too 🙂

Ahh yeh Clare - always 4 days apart 🙂 and thanks for checking in on me xx

I think some PD lenders will go out of business! About time the FCA stepped in though - some of them were charging ridiculous amounts...I have tried to speak to my bank to help but they wont so we will have to ride it out 🙁 i am getting a promotion at work so that will help us out too.

I am never going back!!

Mel xx

Hi Mel.

Hope you're well and sounds good bout the promotion at work. Always helps to have a little more cash in the pocket too 🙂 help get you back on track sooner.

Im sooooo pleased we are both on track it really helps me checking in on you and others and seeing other people doing well is nice - good to see strength growing and the determination shared by us all.

That wind is wild tonight ! Have a fabulous weekend whatever you're up to.

Clare x

Hi Diary,

Having a down day today, things arent too good with hubby...probably because of my continuously changing moods. The credit card companies have started calling, so need to deal with them, the weather is c**P, and I have zero motivation to do anything!

All in all, life is pretty pants right now...

Mel x

Chin up.

Things will improve in time for you. I guess it's hard to think that when it's a low day but I know they will.

Clare x

Hi Mel,

As Claire says things will improve, abstaining can take the S***e out of us and it does sometimes, our moods change like the weather that's why I call my recovery a rollercoaster ride, my moods are up and down like a yo yo.

But it does not last long, and believe me when the low mood lifts, we feel great, don't think too far ahead just think of today, and then tomorrow when it comes, most importantly be kind to yourself, you are in recovery, and you are doing your very best.

Take care

Suzanne xx

Thanks Clare and Suzanne :*

I just feel drained so tired of all this. No urges to gamble though, in fact, as the days go by I actually hate it all even more...and all the destruction it has caused in it's path, but it's all my fault that I've let it 🙁 I feel like I've woken up in the middle of a nightmare - but it's real.

Day 12 has been gamble free but hard day 🙁

Mel xx

Hi Mel,

Don't get disheartened it is all part of the recovery process, your mindset is adjusting and sadly yes we have times where the reality of the damage gambling did sinks in very hard, and to be honest it will continue but less often so we push through these days and embrace the good days, because as long as we keep abstaining the good days far outweigh the bad days, and the good days do get better, you are doing fine, just push through it yes it's very draining, but it is sooo much worth it.

You will feel better soon.

Suzanne xxx

Hi Mel, just popping by to offer my support! The early mood swings are nasty but they are real rather than the lies & dishonesty our loved ones got when we were gambling! Recovery in the early days is exhausting but so was gambling...It was the addiction keeping adrenalin flowing to keep us from realising so it could go on hurting us! It cannot do this anymore & when the fog lifts, which it will, soon, you will realise that recovery is the best choice you have ever made!

Be safe, be strong - ODAAT