Truth Hurts

You have made lots of positive changes in the last five days.

Be patient and kind to yourself. Small steps will get you there.

Stay strong.

@uxqcyhtzrm  Evening Freedomawaits

I was touched by your open and honest post. Your story is so similar to my sons who gambled for 9 years through college , uni and life. Massive debts, spiralling mental health and isolated beyond belief. Lost friends and relationships along the way.  He did not lose me , his mother. 

Your freedom awaits you now. You have made that decision and been resuscitated back from numbness. I see you have your career and a relationship, so you have real hope.

I can sense the relief in offloading your story so keep talking and reaching out for any support you can grab as it is hard on your own.

I can vouch that Gamcare have amazing support packages and advice that is why I volunteer to give back as i called them and they listened to me non judgmentally 

Today my son is 17 months Gamble free of harm. I wish you a supported recovery as your freedom begins

Best wishes   Patsy

@uxqcyhtzrm well done on an excellent post.

You are just at the start and the best days are yet to come.

Amazing isn't it.  Gambling would seem to be so self indulgent to someone who did not understand but it is the opposite.  It goes hand-in-glove with self neglect and depriving yourself of what you really need.

A compulsive gambling problem also sucks joy from everything else around us as nothing can compete with the artificial high of dopamine it gives.  As you go more and more days GF you will start to adjust and the 'zest for life' will start to make a welcome appearance back.

But this will take time and effort.  Make sure you reward yourself for not gambling on a regular basis.

Well done again on the post.  It did me good reading it, you deserve to be happy. xx

All thank you so much for your kind words. I felt very vulnerable revealing so much, but your kind words made me feel welcome and seen. I may have shed a few tears! 

I shut myself off so much from everything that I very rarely can be real and share my thoughts/feelings. I feel like this is sometimes a learned response to desensitise ourselves. I feel like it’s the dark dirty secret that thrives on my isolation. 

Patsy thank you for sharing your story. Your son is very lucky to have such a supporting and loving mum - I think it’s great to give back. I’d love to volunteer one day! 

thebean- thank you for your kind words. I get a lot from listening to everyone’s experiences. I completely agree - gambling is the most neglectful thing someone can do. I have always struggled with confidence/ low self worth. 

Today has been a little rough, think I have some sort of virus. I have always found illness a key time for gambling. But I’m on day 6, so every cloud….

@uxqcyhtzrm Hi freedom and well done for the post.

Please do not even contemplate depositing at the unregistered casino.  I did that is 2022 and it is the worst mistake of my life.

1)  They will take Credit Cards but change the merchant category codes to bypass the gambling restrictions enforced by the UK.  So instead of paying in pounds to a gambling provider you will pay in dolar/Euro/Yen etc for a transaction other than gambling.  You will lose massively on the exchange rate and the payment will be virtually untraceable.  You will also be charged a cash advance fee and high interest rates.

2)  The software on the site will most probably be rigged for you to lose.  And if you suspect this then tough, there is no one to complain to as they are not regulated.

3)  Even if you were to win they will not process your withdrawal for weeks and will allow you to reverse it back into your balance to lose...  We are problem gamblers.  Of course we will reverse it and lose.

4)  Even if you do have the patience to wait for the withdrawal, after the exchange rate fees, cash advance, rigged software and pending withdrawal time they will ask for lots of verification and sell on your personal details including passport pic to the highest bidder.  They will also most likely close your account after inventing an issue with the verification docs.

4)  If you lose and beg them to close your account as you just lost your rent/food money/school fees they won't.  Or, if they do, they will then send you a free bonus and ask you to consider reopening your account so you can lose more.

I learned the hard way.  Just please do not fund these crooks who only exist the exploit us with real mental health issues about gambling.

Rant over lol

Hitting 24 days GF, and enjoying the sunshine. I know there will be more cravings and urges to conquer but for now I have had a great weekend socialising with friends and family and also have a holiday to on next week. ODAAT but happy with my progress. 

@thebean a sensitive one for many of us as well as yourself. Nobody wants to be giving these dodgy companies money but ultimately logic/principles are not easy to access when your addiction is in full force. Recovery is the only way to make them suffer

Welldone mate each day not gambling is a blessing in itself after many relapses over the years today marks 333 days without a bet since joining this website i have learnt more about the addiction i have been in recovery since 2011 for the first time i took advice from long time members rather then trying to do it all my own way since coming to terms with the addiction i have found ways to cope with those urgues and using the support on here has been enough to keep me gamble free since joing this website 

@tazman thank you for your note. You are right I am really feeling the blessing of each day being GF. Congrats on 333 days what an achievement. Support is key. I am on 30 days today 🙂 have a great weekend

Day 39 GF - really happy to see the days rack up.

I had the most amazing holiday where I really felt so joyful and present for the first time in along time. It just felt so special. 

hope everyone is well and look forward to checking in soon. 

Peace and love all 

Day 74 

I am really struggling with the emotional toll of recovery. I read something that said recovery can feel like a bereavement of sorts. I can really relate to that at the moment. 14 years of very intense gambling without any real breaks is a very weird thing to step away from emotionally. I feel that I’m feeling all the things all the time which is quite overwhelming. I don’t feel very present as a lot of my mind is focused on staying on track.

anyway wanted to share as the recovery journey is not easy. This is the longest I have ever gone and usually when I relapse - when the emotional toll hits! However I have reached out for support from gamcare so hopefully will get some therapy to support this element of my recovery: 

I am struggling but I am really proud of my progress:

one day at a time 

@uxqcyhtzrm 74 days is an amazing achievement.  Well done.  Those 74 days are hard earned and you should be so proud of how far you have come.

I think many of us used gambling as a support blanket to deal with stress and emotions.  I definitely used gambling as a way to deal with negative feelings as when I was gambling it dulled everything else.  

It's so important to find other coping strategies to replace the gambling.  I found exercise a good replacement.  Sometimes it is just about get past the initial cravings and focusing on something else and the feelings pass.

Well done 👍🏼 

Good honest post mate. Well done on all you’ve achieved so far. For us who have gambled for many years it is a huge change in our live dot give it up, especially if the gambling was a constant. This was the case for me too and I can see how you are struggling with the massive change. I’m lucky in a way in that my whole life has changed anyway. I moved out of my home and separated from my wife so that kind of took my focus away from gambling. Now I’m more settled and the gambling safety net I used to always rely on in tough times is niggling away at me daily. Luckily the urges pass quickly, and they will with you too. The longer you go, the shorter they get. As others have said, find things to distract yourself. I have taken to playing the Xbox. I’m not a gamer but it distracts me trying to be! You’ve come so far, and you will go further. Keep reading your first few posts if you feel down. Then look at you life now. No brainier to go back.

Stay strong 💪