unlucky for all

Hi! You hide it so well from your partner because you don't become a compulsive gambler without becoming a compulsive liar and those lies then become lies on top of lies and so on. It's not a life anyone wants to lead. The first thing you need to beat this is honesty. That's both with yourself and with your partner, without being truly open and honest there is no chance of survival. Having replased recently, I had to have "that" conversation with my partner. I can't lie and tell you it was easy, or that everything will be alright, but I can tell you, you've got to *** the nettle.

You know this is coming, your partner doesn't, it will be an immense shock to them, give them time to work out their feelings, expect to be in the doghouse for some time or maybe forever, but this illness isn't going away unless you fight it with all your might and you need as much help as you can get. Can you talk to siblings or parents too? Finally, for now, get some barriers in place, so you simply can't gamble. If someone else can take control of your finances that's great. Hand over your cards, passport and driving license so that you can't get involved with money in any way. If you gamble online, invest in some blocking software, a lot of ISPs offer this for free, which means ANY device connecting to your home network will be blocked. You can also buy software like Gamblock or Betfilter or get a free package like K9. Call your mobile provider and ask to be blocked from 18+ sites.

I am sure lots of people here will be willing you on and have lots of advice for you over in the future. Be strong, don't be afraid to ask for help, and seek out your local GA meeting in the meantime.

I don't gamble anywhere else but the fobts... I have spoke to friends and family and have seen a councilor before about my disease and was doing well. I know I need to have the talk with my beautiful partner but I'm just so scared of loosing her.. I sometimes go into bookies to just watch people on the fobts and think about them you are such a loser as they put all there money in.. I also know if I have won as soon as it spins as I know exactly what number it is going to be. I gamble 3k this week that was supposed to be our family holiday now I have to confront this as this is not normal behaviour its weird.

Smithy8, FOBT are very much the crack C*****e of gambling, with such a short time between bet placement and settlement they reel people in, in fact if you are one of those folks who have got the graphical sequence off pat, the time is even shorter. But, you're here on the forum, you acknowledge the problem and you went to arrest your behaviour. They are all positve things. Money is man-made concept, albeit one which we cannot live without in today's western world, but the much bigger things in all of this are the lies, cheating, lack of trust and generally antisocial way in which we act when "in action". If you can stop gambling and start trying to right your behavioural wrongs, the money will suddenly seem a lot easier to deal with.

I hope so as this is totally killing me. Tearing me apart where I'm not confident and don't feel myself anymore

I really need help.. I think I'm going to end it.. I have spent every last penny and lost my gf

Smithy, if you need help straight away get on the phone to Gamcare, GA or the Samaritans, they'll all listen impartially. You need to be thinking clearly before you tackle this demon, because otherwise, it'll warp your mind even further. You've got to look after yourself first and then start worrying about the other things.

Smithy, get in touch with gamcare and talk to them. Until just over a week ago I hadnt admitted to anyone I have a problem. Having now told my wife, kids and others and having spoken to gamcare and attended my first GA session I have had a mixture of reactions. I now speak to those who will support me and try to work around my problem with those who find it hard to take and feel let down - they will need time to work it through in their minds. It is not easy, but sharing with others will help you understand that you are not alone. This dreadful disease affects so many but there is a way forward for those like you who wish to change.

Thankyou guys.. I am in a lot better place now.. I have confronted all my deamons and I am more determined to defeat this once and for all...

Great stuff smithy. Keep focussed and feed the good not the demons!

I think I've had that lightbulb moment when I feel sick when stood in front of the fobt