What a day!

thanks re-most of his clutter is football memorabilia, typical guy 🙂

Day 122-nice number!

Spring has sprung (for a wee while).

Visited pal for dinner yesterday-she made real, proper chips, not had those for years, yum! Chips aside, was great catching up with my bestie.

Work related conference today in city centre-should be good.

All in all, feel more settled.

Day123

Not got much to say-gamble free 🙂

day 124

Awoke with a feeling of dread-just wanted to stay tucked up with the blinds shut! This is despite having a good day at work planned-time to give myself a shake!!!

No gambling for me (although Im missing it-despite all the bad stuff it brings!) Hate being like this, so hopefully a transient feeling.

Ill catch up with others soon.

Hi Irene ..

With all the changes going on its normal to feel that lurch in the pit of your stomach of dread..I get that too sometimes ...

You can cope and you will be able to cope with everything life throws you ,you will develop a new routine and not feel as unsettled ...

Start your day again and dont look too far ahead...

R and d xxx

Hi Irene

maybe fear of the unknown, finding a new way of being you.

Struggling too for a few days, strange this roller coaster continues to haunt us.

Hope weekend banishes nasty feelings and you feel good.

xxx

Thanks so much girlies x

day 124 (again)

The nest is officially empty! Son moved to his new home today. Ive spent much of the day crying-not great when its my job to support others-but better out than in!

I am so lucky in my life compared to others- I feel like I am getting very self indulgent.....learning to let emotions show isnt easy. I am so blessed-family and friends who love me and my wee paddy for company at home yet I am apprehensive about the future. Ive looked after my son for most of my adulthood-I always said this would be 'my time'.

A time to look forward to.....instead Im wallowing in self pity

Theres very little in my life Ive been ashamed of, getting hooked on slots is one-missing the slots is another. How crazy is it to miss wasting so much in front of a screen, to lose thousands of pounds, and all the emotional turmoil that ensues?!!

At work on nightshift, hence the tired rambling!

Sending love to folk struggling with their personal battles x

ps my babys 8 miles away

pps my babys 25

ppps started post day 124, now day 125!

Hi Irene

Glad to hear your son has moved in safely. I am very similar to you on your thoughts on your post this evening. I have been round at my son's flat all afternoon - I left it like a shiny new pin!! He will be so grateful when he gets home to see it.

We are both lucky to have sons who totally appreciate what their mums have single handedly done for them over the years. For that reason, we should not feel guilty about how we cannot, at the moment, maybe help them as much as we would like. That's why I like to help him keeping his flat nice as this doesn't cost me anything.

Take care Irene and enjoy your weekend.

Feb.xx

Hey Irene ...

Don't be too hard on yourself ..it's not indulgence and it's perfectly natural to feel upset...its a huge adjustment for you and even though he is not gone gone it is a loss and loss has to be grieved,....

Your routine will be different and that is unsettling for you and your son also will be feeling the same as his routine will change now....you never know .you may see more of him as he gets used to his place..

It's just change and we humans are not great at it but I can understand that for you it's not only him not being in the house but about what your role is now and who or what do you make yourself relevant to now ..that can be an exciting jouney ...but that will come I promise...

Get the spare room ready ..xxx

R and D xxx

Hey Irene,

Congrats on your 125 days of sobriety. That's awesome! Stay strong, as your adjusting to your son moving out. Sounds like your very close to him. Enjoy your weekend.

Chicagoguy

hey irene

carl

Again, thanks for understanding x

Day 125 -still!

At work again. Today I did something un-Irene-ish, phoned my pal and told her I was sad and finding the change hard. I think Ill devise a plan to keep myself occupied for next couple weeks.

Cried again today (surprise)-I awoke to a beautiful 'thank you' card from my son, thanking me for looking after him for past 25 years (he may not be so thankful when hes to reciprocate when Im old and doddery) 🙂

Also saw him this evening, hes Paddysitting whilst Im nightshift. Laughed a bit when he told me about their 1st shopping trip-he was astonished at the cost of basic goods!

Anyhow, I need to accept the changes and shift my backside!! Remember,I actively encouraged this change and wouldnt want it any other way!

No gambling for me and honestly not thought about slots today-phew. I wish there was time limit on these urges/feelings and can only hope that I can continue as Im doing.

Posting from mobile which is doing my nut in, so I will catch up with others tomorrow.

Hoping for a quiet settled nite 🙂

So glad you were able to tell your friend you were feeling sad. My closest friend's children left home at the same time as mine so luckily we were able to support each other and filled the time left by the gap. We had cinema trips and she was much more pro active than me and dragged me along to belly dancing, poetry evenings and all sorts of bizarre and interesting things that I would never have done on my own. She moved up to London which made it harder but she has since learnt the saxaphone, ukele, run a hospital radio and many more things, I guess you just need to find the motivation from somewhere instead of hiding in spending sprees as I did.

You are lucky your son lives close as well, mine is over an hour away and works very long hours in London so don't see him much but he does phone and my daughter has her own family now and I used to help her a lot before health problems. Just makes me appreciate it more when I do see them.

You have sailed through the worst part without giving in to the cravings, can only get better from here.

Many thanks for supporting me so much as I can be such a moany old git, it's much appreciated.

xxx

Yeah I can relate with the feelings of kids leaving the nest. Mine left on some really bad terms I guess and takes a lot to accept. Dont know that ill ever find a good feeling in it. Guess with my boy having the mental health issues he does can only hope they find a med that works for him and he can live a happy life. My girl on the other hand loves the happy life and no pill to big or small to achieve it. Lol yeah a big thrill seeker she is and pretty much fears no one or nothing. Hell guess following that road can only lead ya to deaths road and dont think she minded the trip either. Lol guess its all fun till its to late and can only hope she sees it in the future.

Wanna wish ya a happy pattys day and hope ya get to enjoy some of the festivities.

Hey Irene,

Thanks glad you liked it, it was my way of saying thanks to all of you for supporting me on my journey. Much appreciated!

Chicagoguy

Hi again

and what is wrong with belly dancing I ask? mind would be belly wobbling these days.

Sorry didn't come out as I meant when I said you are lucky as really meant I am envious as I have not seen a lot of my son recently except on mother's day.

She also joined a book club, writing group, hiking group etc etc etc the list is endless if you have the energy and get up and go.

Have fun

xxx