What a day!

thanks x

Day 263

Nothing much happening!

Hey Irene,

It's good sometimes when nothing happening:) peace with yourself, day to day things, it can turn to best days sometimes.

Enjoy your weekend and hope to catch up on chat some time

Take care

Sandra x

thanks Sandra, hopefully we will catch up on chat soon x

Day 264

Niteshift 🙁

Otherwise all's good 🙂

Hey again Irene,

Night shifts......yuk. .please don't swear lol

Well i do wonder sometimes how can i manage all this( and i smoke aswell) but if i set a goal, i'm very competitive to get there. In this case - run daily:-) plus it helps me in this recovery... sometimes haven't got much to do, you know no family, no kids....so just try to kill spare and boring time...and it helps me to keep fit:-)

Have good rest today, can't beat pj days sometimes:-)

Well done for another day abstinent! Fantastic

Sandra x

Thanks SuperSandra with lots of energy x

Day 265

Post nightshift fatigue today and back on shift tonight. However, I've had a good week (short work week as I didn't start back till tues). I'm always surprised at the amount of work which accumulates in a week off- despite clearing stuff before annual leave, I always return to a pile of stuff to do.....never a dull moment!

Not had any major "urges" but have had a few "what if" thoughts.....I quickly try to turn those around before they become full blown urges to gamble. They don't tend to last long and are easily forgotten.

There have been some stark reminders on diarys recently about urges and how hellish and devastating they can be and I try to keep vigilant. This was a piece of advice given early on (thanks Blondie)- keep vigilant when things are good, when things are bad, and all times in between.

Not in a good place Irene but I thank you so much for seeing parts of me that I can't see despite my ranting posts xxx

Day 266=38 weeks

Sunday is the day I last gambled. I usually try to take a bit extra time to reflect and celebrate each Sunday. Today is no different 🙂

Sunday is also a day with which I sometimes struggle- I work alt weekends nightshift hence alt Sundays are "tired days" for me when urges/ "what ifs" can intrude.

Today I'm physically tired but feel really strong. I'm not sure why this Sunday's different and tbh I don't really care- I just plan to enjoy 🙂

Washing's up to date, shopping in, me n Paddys been out a long walk and dinner prepped. Sat outside for a wee while- finished my book (I love trashy girlie novels- help me to escape) and enjoying a wee glass of red. What more could I want/need?????

Today, I'm not gambling and all's well 🙂

Hey Irene! Congrats on another big Sunday!

38 weeks ..... keep them coming! Fantastic achievement darling, enjoy everything good life offers to you...

I'm over the moon for you:-)

Look after yourself and keep high spirit

Sandra x ( thanx for continued support ) xxx big hug

Hi Irene,

hope that you are well and the past few days for you back at work have been ok for you. Hope the gym plans are working out for you, keep it up, far more productive than evil gambling, and I am sure you are reaping the rewards of your actions.

take care and have a great week.

Phil

Thanks friends- your support means so much x

Day 267

Monday again....... usual busy-ness at work, although skivved away a bit early to do my class at gym (I still think that's so funny, so "not me"!). Shouldn't have bothered, think I've pulled something under my belly "insulation"- oops! Wont be using it as an excuse however, I'll get some advice from my wee gym guru.

Can hardly believe I'm seeking advice again.....that's also unlike me. However finding that putting my trust in "experts" is the best thing to do, whether it be money, health and fitness or gambling.....its ok to admit that I need help at times. This is prob one of the biggest changes in my thinking.

It's crazy isn't it Irene ,where have we Brits got this idea from that it is a weakness to ask for help...? ..is it because we are an island I wonder..lol

if anyone asks me for help I jump at the chance to help them if I physically can...someone once said to me a very true thing...if you don't ask for help you are depriving another person the joy of giving!!

It's like compliments ...they are a gift , so if we reject a compliment its like shoving a gift back in people's faces...

I'm sure I will need more lifetimes to truly get my head round that but hey..Rome was not built in a day !

Hope your tum feels less peely wally....xxx

R and D xx

Thanks for understanding Rach x

Day 268

After the busy day yesterday, I wasn't expecting the horrible night. I thought the dreams were over, not had any for months......last night I awoke with a start, dreaming about gambling.....how strange, dreaming that all my pals were shunning me because I'm choosing not to gamble! The opposite is true- since stopping, I've become closer to friends and family- bizarre!!

As a result, I've been knackered today and looking forward to an early night 🙂

Hey sleepy lady:-)

Completely agree with you on those bad nightmares. I find it strange too, don't think about it and then...boom...attacks you from out of nowhere..

Anyway it's one in a blue moon, and i wish you to have sweet dreams you deserve:-)

Have a good day Irene and start it with a smile

Take care

Sandra x

Was great catching up Sandra x

Day 269

Nothing much going on 🙂

Gamble free x

Hi Irene

They say dreams don't always mean how they feel and sometimes the opposite , the fear is always there bout relapsing somewhere at the back of our minds and now the bonds are now closer with friends that's something u don't want to lose

There's no worst feeling than that sick feeling in the pit of the stomach when waking the next morning from a bad days gambling

Hopefully they will stay away though and get a better night sleeps

Castle2