Morning everyone
Im no stranger to this place, trying to give up gambling... It reassures me a little that I've been through this process before, I know that the frequent urges to gamble will pass the longer time goes on and that they will become less intense, and more sparesly spread. It doesn't make my urge to gamble right this second any easier though..
I've tried and failed twice to stop gambling. The reason being - control. I give up gambling really easily and live my life very well. 2/3 months later, 2/3 months clean, I think that I have control of it back and I think "just put £1 bets on" and everything will be fine. Hmm..
So thats how I started living my "controlled" gambling life about 18 months ago. £10 in the account after 4 months off, 2 x £1 bets, of course the first one would win. I was back, I was hooked, the buzz. And slowly but surely my grip on control loosened, even with the controls in place on my account (£25 deposit limit per week, £100 per month) - I was losing £100 per month but I was in control, when I lost I stepped away etc.
I had found my happy medium as a compulsive gambler with a need to gamble, but also remaining in control and within limits. Until past weekend just gone, old habits do die hard. Champions league final, english team in it, I think I've found a cert bet, money is in my account and the grass is green. £200 goes on said bet, which doesnt happen. s**t. £200 bet by making a new account with a bookie I'd never even heard of. Suddenly in a spiral of what can only be described as a complete loss of control, I've lost £2k.
£2k in a matter of hours.f***.
So I'm back to the point I thought I would never be at, so now I know I could go back and stick to my £100 a month as previously and be fine, but who knows how long for? What will the next time cost me where I lose control? My job? My girlfriend? My life.
So I'm staying away, I have told my OH about stopping which she supports. I don't think I could do it without her really, I have goals in place financially, I have plans for my spare time, more importantly - I have self excluded and are committed. Going to try a councellor and also GA meetings.
Upon reflection, the past two times I have stopped, I've never truly intended on stopping. I've intended on putting it to bed for a while to continue in a logical, controlled matter. But that just hasn't happened and as such, Its either living life in this pit of misery, money goes hand to mouth, any other money goes hand to bookies fat a**e pockets. Or its living a life gamble free, enjoying relationships, family, experiences.
For now, over and out. I'll likely try and update this daily with thoughts.
Thanks
E.
Thank you for posting and that has totally answered my question (although I knew the answer already) of can I put my old £2 football accumulator on. That person who could sit in the pub watching out for my teams score and have a fun bet isn’t me anymore. Like you say even if you will that £2 will turn into a fiver, £10 and the rest.
It’s going to be very strange come August when my weekends don’t revolve around 3-5pm on a Saturday afternoon. I will miss it though, not gonna lie I fooled myself that football betting required skill and knowledge unlike roulette or scratchcards.
Sound like you know what to do now though or what not to do? All the best, you have already come so far so don’t beat yourself up about it and start again.
Good luck
Leedsfan, we have something in common. Neither of us know what depresses us more. Gambling (and losing!) or having to suffer and watch Leeds United. As a season ticket holder for football and rugby I think that will be my biggest challenge but we will see what happens!
If its football that was your venom (same with me) then nows a good time to stop really. That being said, today is always a good time to stop, never tomorrow! August will be weird, espeically at the games, although Im hoping that they matter slightly less and I can enjoy the game, the sport, the spectacle instead of actually not enjoying it at times.
E
Hi Egdam,
Sounds like you are making the right decisions and counselling and GA are certainly 2 ways of helping you get to where you want to be.
Sounds like online is your vice so get yourself registered with gamstop where you can get yourself excluded for up to 5 years from all uk registered online betting companies.
Wish you the best.
Damo
ITDamo wrote:
Sounds like online is your vice so get yourself registered with gamstop where you can get yourself excluded for up to 5 years from all uk registered online betting companies.
^ Is Gamstop a recent thing - I've certainly never heard of it before now.
Registering as we speak.
Yes very...only been available the last few weeks and for me for anyone serious about stopping should do it.
I had a little bit of hassle registering but I think thats because ive moved house a couple of times in the last couple of years.....worth it though.
who knows quite why controlled gambling never works. Maybe it’s because when you’re still gambling you don’t truly accept your problems in life.
and without true acceptance you don’t embrace change. You just bumble along as before, papering over the cracks.
Addiction is a symptom of something else. If your approach is to control, then you’re really missing the point.
On the other hand with acceptance, and honesty, can come change. And genuine change might seem scary but the results are exhilarating. You can’t taste those results yet, but if you commit to change then you will get there. This requires a change in mindset away from instant gratification towards long term wellbeing. A move towards having faith in yourself.
From your posts you’re making the right moves. Stick with and follow through.
Louis
ITDamo wrote:
Yes very...only been available the last few weeks and for me for anyone serious about stopping should do it.
I had a little bit of hassle registering but I think thats because ive moved house a couple of times in the last couple of years.....worth it though.
have just registered - thank you!
Thanks Louis,
This is something deep down I probably knew but didn't want to accept. I wont preach to the converted about how much a buzz gambling can be eh. When its good you don't want it to stop, when its bad its what takes over and (ultimately) ruins your life/friendships/relationships.
Egdam wrote:
Leedsfan, we have something in common. Neither of us know what depresses us more. Gambling (and losing!) or having to suffer and watch Leeds United. As a season ticket holder for football and rugby I think that will be my biggest challenge but we will see what happens!
If its football that was your venom (same with me) then nows a good time to stop really. That being said, today is always a good time to stop, never tomorrow! August will be weird, espeically at the games, although Im hoping that they matter slightly less and I can enjoy the game, the sport, the spectacle instead of actually not enjoying it at times.
E
Ah a fellow Leeds fan - like I said in another thread being a Leeds fan prepared me for the constant losing! I knew I had a problem when I barely looked at our results anymore just the games I had money on. (I never bet on Leeds even I’m not that stupid :-)) I actually think having money to go to games again will help me, seeing my friends not being glued to my phone etc.
Think the World Cup May be an obstical but I’m gonna get myselfout and not be glued to games I’m not really that interested in.
Hope things are looking clearer for you now.
MOT - we can do this!
Morning - Tuesday morning to be precise and exactly 1 week GF. First milestone.
Given my previous attempts to stop and my absolute certainty within myself that I cannot be a controlled gambler, I have accepted that I am a compulsive gambler with an addiction. Whilst that makes me feel shame, it has also allowed me to see gambling for what it is, a true evil.
I've been reading the book - the easy way to stop gambling - as recommended a couple of times by other people here. It is simply wonderful and I imagine will be a very very useful tool. It has actually taken away any desire to gamble whatsoever. I went to a rugby match the weekend just gone, to enjoy the sport, the spectacle etc. Not to gamble! I am lucky enough to have somehow got myself some free tickets to the Tyson Fury fight this weekend - I am hoping, no desire to gamble on it.
Keep it sweet, MOT
E
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1782124489/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Good morning all, another day, another dollar!
Was going to try and keep up with this daily but we will see what happens. Im up to chapter 7 of the book above, its a VERY good read thus far. Couple of busy days at work and subsequent busy evenings ensue, which im happy for really.
E
Morning all,
Started filling my time where possible, Im a big gamer also so I have started attending my local game store which has a "Belong" arena, I've made one of the competetive teams so for the next 7+ weeks I'll be competing in their clash league. I also plan on going 1/2 more times per week to fill the gap.
E
Morning all,
Another day another dollar - I know I keep saying that but day by day is how I'm measuring this. I make it 10 days today. Actually flown by. Still reading the book mentioned above, its worth it. Trust me, the two main themes are
- It isn't hard to quit gambling (if you believe it is, its easier to fail)
- you're not losing out on something by not gambling, gambling gives "false" pleasure that once has passed the body craves more, once you believe you're gaining something by not gambling, you have no desire to gamble.
Its hard to contextualise in one para so I suggest reading it. However it does seem to be working and the desire is deminishing.
Im self excluded, so I cant gamble to my poison of internet betting - even if I wanted to. I have no intention on any other form of gambling either. I do feel like I'm losing out on casinos - whilst I have never gone over the top at all with casinos, I really like blackjack and in my mind its always been entertainment. I like the odds and the mechanics of the game rather than the win/loss on the money part. For example some weekends I could screw hundreds on online betting, but blackjack I play my £20, sit there for 3 hours and it doesn't bother me if Im at £0, £20, or £40 at the end of the night. I play for the game and the entertainment. I maybe have gone to casinos 3/4 times a year as an entertainment purpose (the same as a cinema, ice skating, etc.)
THAT BEINGSAID... I am very weary and I have no intentions to go to a casino at all, if I do (for example with friends if they are going) - I will not gamble as I appreciate how easy it is to change poison from internet betting to cards etc. The gambling trap exists in all forms of gambling.
Quick question to anyone reading this, would you participate in the office sweepstake for the world cup? In its purest form it is gambling, in a more liberal view - its a bit of fun in an office environment that will cost £2 and will absolutely not get "out of control" seeing as it is just one sweepstake..
E
Hi Egdam,
Personally I wont get involved with any type of betting...sweepstake, lottery or even a football card with my sons football team. I would rather donate the cash if it came to it.
This is the first time I have went at things this way and it is the longest I have been without gambling.
I just cant see the benefit of doing the sweepstake, or in going back to the casino at some point on the future. Got more to lose than gain for me.
As you know its not one size fits all though and im sure others will disagree with me.
Damo
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