What even is "control"?

Damo - thats the way I am leaning. Genuinely at this point don't see any benefit to doing it. I don't feel I'm missing out on anything. Plus I'll be supporting England until they get knocked out and then it will be Belguim. No need to have any money on it!!

E

I am Scottish so I will be supporting the other 31 teams 🙂

Damo

Checking in guys! Went to the Tyson Fury fight at the weekend, all the lads I was with putting their bets on and I stayed GF.

That is a victory in my book. I enjoyed myself, especially considering I hadn't bet. It does hurt a bit tho when you give your opinion to your mate and he goes and puts a bet on it, then it comes in (I said fury in the 4th..) - he got a few rounds in afterwards.

The important thing was staying GF and enjoying staying GF for me. I didn't need/want to gamble - desire did flare up slightly but I put that to bed early on. Im self excluded even if I wanted to.

Other than that I've been putting some effort into running the past 13 days GF as I had already signed up for a local 10k charity run in my area. For a lad thats nearly 17 stone I put the shift in and did it in 1:19 which I was buzzing about, thinking about a half marathon in September now. Im trying to channel energy that would have been spent gambling into other stuff.

Over and out for today, from a very tired and achy E. (Who knew the very sides of your ankles can be in pain?!?)

E

Good morning. (Just). 16 days GF today, not looking back! Enjoy your days

Morning all - 18 days today. Taking it day by day, sporting event by sporting event. Seeing how it goes really although fully confident that gambling is behind me now. Hope you're all well.

Good morning all, hope you all had a good weekend and feeling well. Im nearly 3 weeks gamble free now. A real acheivment in my book! Especially with a full weekend of rugby and world cup!!!

Enjoy your days

E

Morning all, Someone reply? (LOL) I'm literally just chatting pure **** to myself.

Anyway, watched the England win with the girlfriend last night, it matters exactly the same as when theres a bet on it. No difference for me, I got exactly the same enjoyment! In fact probably more enjoyment by not betting on it. I am 3 weeks gamble free now - feels like a bloody big acheivment for me. Supposedly it takes 3 weeks to a month to break a habit.

Not that I have a habit, I have an addiction, thats why I'm here.

I did some thinking last night, about the whole thing. Speaking to my other half about money (she doesn't have control of my money however I am accountable, I show her statements etc and she has seen my budgets). Thinking about the changes I've made since going gamble free. Here's what I've come up with

1. I broke a level of trust by gambling, lying, worming out of things with the OH. I am slowly rebuilding that. This includes having more time spent with her and a refreshing feeling of not needing to lie or "misplace" the truth as I would so often convince myself.
2. The time needs to be filled, so I have been going running and also applied to be a volunteer for 2 different charities. This has had health and moral benefits for myself. I'm feeling fitter, happier and all round just better.
3. Weird side benefit I didn't expect, I'm losing weight. Coupled with the running above, I've found out that I'm eating healthier and living a better lifestyle. No more late nights gamling on Peruvian league 2 football and missing sleep, no more staying in to watch event X,Y,Z that I'm only interested in because of the bet [I would have ordered takeaway and had sweets, drinks, crisps, cake, the lot].
4. Life is clearer, I have started to appreciate certain things more and have less eratic mood swings. I can make changes such as walking to the shops instead of driving to enjoy the fresh air and such like, I dont need to be back to make a kick off.
5. Quitting gambling can be easy with the right mentality. You're NOT losing out on anything, gambling replaces a void that was in your life at a certain point in time. Therefore stop gambling and sort the void out, there should be no desire to gamble.
6. Finances are clearer. Theres no bending money here to put a bet on to create an issue later. I have a budget, I stick to it, I will pay all debt off within 2 years (some is not gambling debt - im in my 20's, I also drank too much and went on holidays higher than my pay grade.. )

E

Daily update

Tired, gamble free.

Thursday has hit. I’m ill day watching the World Cup. Usually it would be a day betting on horses or dogs or whatever’s on! Not today. I’m skint till monday which is payday tho, currently no urges but expecting some on Monday.

Hello Egdam,

People do read these boards more than you think. I for one read every single new post for the first few months!

You don't always get a reply but what you say and comment to others helps yourself and people that may never reply to you more than you might think. If nothing else a diary is a great space to just get things down on paper. I often came back to read my own words after a few days/weeks/months to see the changes in myself.

Hope you are feeling better and are still GF. Keep making the right choices and life gets better.

Have a good weekend.

All the best.

SJW

Thanks! I understand. Im using this more as diary now rather than anything else. I have accountability in the following order;

1. To myself
2. To my simply wonderful OH
3. To this thread - to anyone who reads
4. To the challenge threads

I am still GF, it was 4 weeks ago today I had my last two bets, one on greyhounds and one on some European division2 league, I cannot remember but neither won. Im feeling quite victorious this morning. I have been paid and all of the right people/bills/things have been paid today, rent, family that I owe money to and creditors. I have set £300 aside for myself for the month and I have money left over that is saving for the rent deposit on our next house. A big thing on here is giving OH control of money, which my OH declined when I offered, instead I am simply accountable and will be showing her bank statements etc and if there is any betting she is under the instruction to leave me there and then (and she will).

The joyous mood continues when I recap where I am at. Im an avid lover of a lot of sports which actually probably created a fairly bad mix when I am also a complusive gambler. However that being said I have had the following acheivements without one single bet.

• Attended the Tyson Fury comeback fight
• Attended 3 rugby matches
• Attended England at Elland Road in the warm up friendly
• Watched multiple world cup games

I've enjoyed them a lot more without needing a bet on, weirdly, it just serves to think that the gambling "buzz" is completely a false high and is filling a void that is created, only by gambling. Thus keeping compulsive gamblers in the trap that only gambling creates. Try to objectify that for what it is.

Instead, now in life I do not have a void because I don't gamble. Gambling was creating the void that I thought only gambling could fill. I am happy, I enjoy sporting occasions for what they are, very high level and talented people putting their bodies on the line for club, country, titles, or in Tyson Fury's case, for a laugh. [Not a big fan of him, but I like boxing and the tickets were free haha!!!]

It would be a lie to say I don't think about betting, because I do. What I think about is how much it ruined my life so far and that prompts me back to where I need to be. My existing [pre self exclusion] bets on the world cup have nearly all lost. I had one on Panama not to score at all in the WC, thank you England for that one. Any winnings would only have been a major trigger.

If I can do it, so can anyone else reading this.

E

Morning, 4 weeks today - 28 days. Quite excited by the big 30 on Thursday!

Unfortunately my Granddad passed last night which hasnt been an ideal start to today. It wasn't totally unexpected but still not the best.

E

Dear Egdam,

congratulations on 29 days gambling free, keep up the good work.

Really sorry to hear about your Granddad passing, wishing you and your family much strength in this sad time.

All the best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Morning all - Im going to stop fully counting the days I think. I am gamble free and that is all I am thinking. Day by day.

Another successful day yesterday, another one will be had today.

E

Evening all - hows everyone. Checking in, still gamble free. Replacing the empty time as much as I can at the moment.