Hey H2Z and Markman, this may be a long waffle!! Well I left Uni and was fine etc Then had a 'surprise' baby and my money management skills went out the window, so even before I started gambling I was in debt. I remember clearly the day I started 5/6 years ago when a friend mentioned she had a small win on a online game....and here I am approx 12k in debt and feeling pretty s**t about myself. But am so glad to have people to share with on here as there is no one at home. So back to the original point lol I have been with Pay plan for 7/8 years and would have been debt free if I hadn't started gambling 🙁
DAY 2 - COMPLETE
This morning I had no motivation to get out my bed or go about my day to day business. I just cant stop thinking about everything ive done and I don't have the therapy of gambling to take all the things gambling his done to me off my mind.
I am struggling these early days not really tempted to gamble but feel these horrible thoughts may drive me back to gambling, its strange.
Again I spent only £3 today which again is a small bonus.
The lack of motivation to go about my day to day business is concerning as I didnt feel like that when I was gambling and losing all my money...
Day 2 completed..
Today I DID NOT gamble.
Morning H2Z,
Well done on successfully getting through the last two days gamble free.
I've only read through your last few posts so forgive me if I'm on the wrong track.
I have also felt really low through gambling, not knowing where to turn to and feeling despair because I had thoughts that this is going to be me for the rest of my life.
If you haven't done so already then ring PayPal or stepchange. Tell them about your predicament. They are lovely and do not judge you. They really want to help and advise with what would be best for you. It may help to fill in a questionnaire on line first where you list all your income, expenditure and debts. It sounds daunting but it is not really and it is well worth the effort. You will feel back in control of your life again so that can only be a good thing. They are not pushy either so you do not have to go through with what they advise.
If this sounds too much then ring gamcare or the samaritans. It's amazing how just being able to talk to someone helps.
I've rung them both in my time because nobody knew about my gambling and i always felt better for it.
Nothing changes if you don't make changes. You have to help yourself. Make that phone call, you and your happiness are worth it!
All good wishes and I hope today finds you feeling determined and strong. You can do this!!! X
Hiya
Well done for getting started.
You're making it hard though by keeping all this to yourself.
When something's a secret it weighs down hard and the constant rumination with no outlet is a massive energy drain. Sadly, you don't get any prizes for beating yourself up, it doesn't make you or anyone else any better.
Most people initially think they can't tell loved ones. Many do though, those that do never regret but talk about a huge sense of relief 'only wish I'd done it sooner'.
This is the message which always comes out - have a read of any longer term poster's diary.
Sadly, no one who treads the secrecy path succeeds. Terrifying this 0% success rate (I've been on this forum for 4.5 years). Yet this stat also offers hope if you choose to open up.
CGs are emotionally sensitive people who come to be led by how they 'feel ', rather than acting with confidence and in our own best interests.
As we often feel bad, we put things off. Things stop happening, except we keep getting older.
If you 'just' stop gambling and don't make wider changes, such as opening up, then you're stuck with all your old self-limiting hardwiring. If by a miracle you succeed then you've just plastered over.
Remember, or understand, that addiction is a symptom of something else. Educate yourself, start here:
https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong
Once you realise addiction is a symptom you can embrace change. Use this as an opportunity and the sky is the limit.
Best wishes
Louis
Sorry my post to you #18 said you need to get in touch with PayPal and not Payplan which is what I meant to say!
I hope you give them a call. You don't even have to do anything before you ring. They will help you to go down the right path to easing your worries.
Stay strong x
Yip... Today I gambled.. Cant go on living like this!!!
Sorry to hear that Hero. You need to make sure you get back on the road to being gamble free.
You did well even coming on this Forum. I usually ignore the site and chase the next day. Dont do it!
You CAN go on living like this H2Z - it's the easy option. Only problem is it just leads to heartache, misery and despair.
The gamble free option takes hard work at the beginning, slightly easier if you take away one part of the triangle either time, place or money. (I think it's that!)
It's up to you, how serious are you at wanting to stop??
No one can do it for you. They can only advise and tell you it's well worth the effort.
You may think you'll never be able to stop. I'm telling you , you can. You just really need to want to.
Get those blocks put in place and start living the life you really want.
Day by day, small steps to start with. Be good to yourself, I'm sure you deserve a better life. It's up to you to make it. Starting from today, prove to yourself that you can!!! X
Thanks for the advice... Today is the day, new start, lets do this!
Fab! I'm confident that you can! x
Write down little notes to remind you of your trigger for this lapse. The Day 1 feeling will pass and you will need a reminder.
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