Parents...

I'm male, 30, and struggled a lot with my addiction over the last 5 years. I've had quieter months than others, but there's some months where I'll literally gamble away my entire monthly wage on payday. 

A few years ago, I took out a loan whilst going through a bad spell of gambling and ended up in a position where I couldn't keep up with payments and was putting myself at risk of the creditors demanding the amount be paid instantly in full. 

I needed financial support. I contacted the loan agency, requested an early settlement fee and planned on asking my parents to help cover this cost. I was absolutely terrified to tell them. To the point where I was shaking, my heart was racing and I was stuttering whilst asking them. 

Long story short - they helped, but they made sure to make me feel like the most pathetic human on the planet. Calling me a f***g idiot, telling me I'm stupid etc.

I was thinking to myself "Yeah, I know that. I know I'm an idiot, please don't remind me when it's literally took everything in me to open up about this".

But what got to me is this: my parents have a friend who struggled with alcoholism a few years ago. They felt so sorry for him sorry for him, provided him with financial support, were so warm towards him and understood that it was an ADDICTION and that external factors in his life also had a part to play. But with me, nope. Apparently I wasn't addicted, apparently I was just a worthless "f***g idiot" who doesn't care about anything other than trying to win money.

Me and my parents are on good terms now and the air is cleared, but this lives in the back of my head and upsets me. There's no point addressing it because I know for a fact they won't change their opinion.

Just wondering if anyone else out there has experienced anything similar when it comes to being shamed for having this addiction, yet the people doing the shaming are understanding when it comes to other addictions?

I feel like if I approached them and said "I'm addicted to hard drugs and drinking and I took out a loan so I can buy lots of booze and powder" then they'd be more understanding and supportive than me telling them about my gambling addiction.

I still gamble monthly after a roughly 6 month break. Some months are better than others.

One thing is for certain though - I won't ever be asking my parents for support or opening up about this addiction ever again!