I've been on here a few times, my fiance has had a gambling problem for the past 5 years. He keeps relapsing and since i found out he'd done it again a few weeks ago i took control of all his finances.
He hasn't done anything since and I believe he really wants to get better, he's taking control and responsibility of the debt and he's trying to work on our relationship. He's been open and honest with me and been telling me when he has the urge to gamble. He's been doing really well and I believe he wants to get better and beat this.
However he thinks he can do it alone, he's tried counselling before 3 times and GA, he says they don't work for him, which may be the case. Though for me I don't feel he can do it alone. We getting married in 2 years and I've already paid some money towards the wedding. I still love him and want to marry him and believe it can work. I just don't see how he can do it alone, it's not enough for me. Is there anything else he can try? Or does anyone know if anyone has been able to do on their own?
Not everybody. But friends of mine have done it. Just pure determination and the realisation that you will make someone else rich and you will suffer.... I'm in this mind set now. I didn't realise I had a problem just thought it was fun until realised I have spider senses for any bookmakers in 1/2 mile radius. Horrible thing.
Good luck.
I'm in a similar position hun, my fiance has always gambled (mainly fruit machines) and he was so bad when I met him that his mum wouldnt allow him to have his own bank card (he still lived with his parents at the time). I thought his mum was crazy and wasnt teaching him how to be an adult and control his own money but here we are nearly 4 years later and now I am the one that wont let him have his bank card. Over the years he seemed to get better but the last 6 months he has suddenely just gone crazy with it. We have 2 young children now and so I am not putting up with it this time but I want to help him, however he seems unwilling to help himself. I have asked him to seek help as whatever I say still doesnt seem to stop him gambling (he borrows money off people and gets subs from his wages if I withhold the bank card) but he is saying he wants to do it on his own. My problem is this is a broken record, week after week whenever he does it all I get is "I'm sorry I wont do it again" so i dont know how this time is any different and how he expects to stop gambling on his own when he has failed so many times over the last few months.
I dont have any advice for you I'm afraid as I feel like I am stuck too, I dont want to be taken for a mug and leave my children short of what they need and deserve, but I want to trust him and help him so I'm at a loss.
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