Hi
I am new to this site but wanted to see if I can see what other peoples views are of my current situation. I have 3 children all under age 6, youngest nearly 1 and my husband has been gambling since my eldest was 11 months old. I've left him before and he promised it would get better but Im afraid Im back to square 1. More recently I have had the police at my door searching for stolen console games that he took from Tesco, might I add this was infront of my children and my Mum.
I am at my witts end, we had a compensation payment of £50k made to us and this was supposed to be a fresh start however I discovered that around £23k just dissapeared, apparently on gambling debts but I dont think this was the case I beleive he gambled it.
This time Ive had enough, I have 3 children, eldest who has autism so is difficult to manage at times and I've kicked him out. My family dont live local and I want to move away with my children (only 6 miles away) to be by family. He doens't seem to get the fact that I want nothing to do with him, wants me to attend mariage councelling but Im not sure it will solve the problem.
Can anybody please give me any advice, my children are going through hell and so am I 🙁
Thank you
Hi
Dawn
Im a compulsive gambler. Sorry to hear about your situation. My only advice would be if your husband has no intention of stopping, which it sounds like he doesnt as he gambles away your compensation payment, but still needs to steal low value items to fund his addiction, is that you pick up your children & run . While he continues to gamble he will only make you & your childrens lives worse.
Alternatively he could seek out help to deal with his problems through GA or counselling & you can all have a chance of making it through this together.
Choices to be made from both of you. Put you & your children first & hopefully he can find the motivation to change that will be needed if you are to continue as one unit.
Dan
As the saying goes "if you find yourself going through hell, keep going". Yes it hurts now, looking at the past can be agonising, so focus on the future, atleast as far as getting the kids to bed tonight and then relaxing. There's no time to think of yourself when you have little children or children with autism, let alone both, so you really have to make sure you are a priority now, big effort to look after you because the kids need you to be solid.
There is absolutely nothing you can do about him or his gambling, you can't control it and you're not responsible for it, so let it go, it will be what it will be, just sort out you getting yourself financially safe, talk to your mum, she must be worried now, take all the help she has to offer.
You're not alone. Keep talking
Hi dawn
I am a recovering CG.
Nothing much to add to what has already been posted. I would just like to emphasize that he can give up gambling, BUT only if HE wants to. He has to want to stop.
If you have read some of the stories on the forum you will already have an understanding of what you could be looking at a few years down the track if he doesn't quit gambling.
You will have some choices to make, but as Pangolin has said, for now, look after you.
Take care
Hi, Dawn,
Perhaps take legal advice about how you preserving the rest of the compensation without spending it in legal fees? Worth looking into but you would need to be quick.
The only other thing to add is that there is a real difference between a CG who wants to stop and does what it takes to go into recovery and stay there and the half measures of a CG who has no intention of stopping and just pays lip service.
It is possible to stay in a relationship with a CG in recovery. An active CG will drag to to the depths.
Keep posting,
CW
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