My parents understand other addictions, but refuse to believe gambling is an addiction.

Mate my parents are exactly the same gamblimg is a mugs game their no point changing their way of thinking it is what it is i am 972 days bet free my parents think i am bet free for the last 12 years😂 this use to get to me alot and alot of people on here have supportive family members to the extent they have accepted addiction part of their lives and will relapse at some point how does that make u feel💩 however u can use this negativety and put this right use it as a strenght not a weakness

Hi Jay, 

Since coming into recovery I've met a lot of people recovering from multiple addictions and watched loads of videos. They all say gambling is the hardest one to arrest in recovery. There was some research to say that each time we place a bet, watch it and then see the result is the equivalent of three heroin hits. When I heard that I thought about the number of bets I placed each day plus the spins. I realised my brain had been rewired to need a lot of dopamine. That proves it's not a lifestyle choice. It sounds like your parents think that due to a lack of education in the UK. I think over 7 years ago the NHS added compulsive or problem gambling to their list of addictions causing mental health issues. I've come to realise that gambling wasn't my problem, it was what looked like my solution, escapism from loneliness, stress, bumps in the road and basically side stepping life and not meeting life on life's terms. It's not easy not to put a mask on and pretend everything is ok. For me personally admitting I not just had a problem but it was an addiction and I had mental health issues to work through was tough beyond anything I could do. The next statement I realised was that I could do it on my own. Cold turkey was not going to switch the light off. I knew everything about gambling but not about addiction let alone recovery. That was tough but something made me reach out for help.

I know that's a long winded answer and it sounds like you aren't at a stage of entering recovery which it certainly isn't my place to convince you otherwise but it's all about that stigma and lack of knowledge

@lp5vut869c thanks for this very honest and informative response, I really appreciate it!

Hi Jay

I hope everything works out for you mate

Hi Jay

First of all, well done it must have taken a lot of courage for you to open up to your parents about what has been going on, I have been there myself and it can be very daunting. From what you have written, it sounds like you were scared to have that conversation and the way you describe shaking and your heart racing shows just how much it meant to you. That takes real bravery, even if it might not feel like that currently.

I am so sorry that you did not get the response you were hoping for. Being called names when you're already feeling vulnerable can really hurt. A lot of people who struggle with gambling carry huge amounts of shame I still do even today,  7 years on from the damage I caused.  Hearing harsh words from those close to you can stay on your mind for a very long time. It make complete sense that this still sits with you. 

Unfortunately, what you discussed about people understanding other addictions more than gambling is something that many people on here can relate to. Because gambling doesn't involve a substance, some struggle to see it as an addiction in the same way they would drugs or alcohol. But the reality is that the impact on our brains, finances, mental health and relationships can be just as severe if not more so in my case. You are definitely not alone in feeling misunderstood. 

I also noticed you still gamble monthly after taking a six-month break. Firstly congratulations on reaching that milestone because it is not easy when you suffer with a gambling addition. Slips and cycles like you are experiencing are coming with gambling addictions. It doesn't mean you are weak - it simply shows how powerful the addiction can be. 

Speaking personally as someone in peer support, I had my own battle with gambling for many years as well. Today I’m seven years free from it. For me, the biggest turning point was accepting that complete abstinence was the only thing that truly worked. Trying to manage or control it always pulled me back in eventually.

Another thing that really helped me was connecting with other people who had been through the same thing. Being able to talk openly with people who genuinely understood what gambling addiction feels like made a huge difference. Sometimes friends or family try their best, but if they haven’t experienced it themselves it can be hard for them to fully *** it.

That’s why communities like this, support groups, and fellowships can be so powerful — you’re surrounded by people who don’t judge you, because they’ve walked a similar path. Look into Gambling Anonymous and try to attend a meeting in your area. These are safe places with like-minded people who understand what you're going through and are only there to help and support. 

One thing I’d gently say is that the fact you were able to step away for six months shows there’s strength there. Recovery is absolutely possible, even if things feel frustrating right now.

You’re not stupid, and you’re certainly not alone in this.

If you ever feel like talking more about what’s been going on for you, there are lots of people here who will understand and listen.

Take care of yourself.