Should I have Walked Away?

Hi

I've been there so many times over the years from the other side of the fence apart from the alcohol side. The words you quote from him I've spoken a hundred times before giving up. If he wanted to be a part of your life now or in the future he would be in recovery. 

So much hidden by him I can just tell. I know because I would have been me a long time ago. 

if you need some perspective I gave up drinking for my partner and my daughter and we now have a son too. I would never like to go back to the person you mentioned both with drinking and gambling.

can he change, yes if he wants too and that day may or may not come.

Hi Gamblersex

Have you spoken to the advisors on here ? Just click the talk to someone button bottom right and you can text chat or ring them. This site as you probably know isn't just about support for addicted gamblers. There is support available for those that we have harmed. Please try reaching out to them, they can help you. 

@lp5vut869c true Stuart. He should be in recovery, but don't think he ever will. Two weeks after we broke up he said that he's no longer gambling, but he can't have changed so quickly . I guess now that he has to pay rent he won't have as much money to gamble to indirectly I helped him gamble less...hopefully. 

If I did want to try again in a few years' time (assuming we both haven't moved on by then) I would want to see his bank account to make sure that he was saving money as with him being a gambler the little he saved was quickly lost again within weeks.

In answer to your other reply yes I will definitely be chatting to the advisors.Thanks so much for your support.

@dave101 hi Dave. Yes I believe he was hiding a lot. Every Saturday or Sunday he was off he used to go out for a couple of hours, presumably for a walk, but I knew that he was either going to the betting shops and/or drinking as sometimes I could smell the alcohol off him. When I questioned him he would just say that he 'bumped' into a friend and went for a drink.

Well done on giving up gambling & drinking Dave. Nothing more important than family.  You were very brave and disciplined to have overcome the addiction and managed to be part of a beautiful family. I wasnt going to have kids with him as we both agreed on this since we met in our 40s, but still planned a future together which to me seemed insecure given his addictions.

Not too hopeful about getting back with him in the future as I doubt he will ever change.

@eqxzuvkg8t

you take care of yourself and thanks for the kind words.

i hope love strike again 

o7

You did what you did and what you had to do for yourself, he had many chances that went undone . A pill he will have to learn how to swollow. It isn't your responsibility to fix him. Stay strong and take care of yourself and your daughter and rebuild ✌️