Hi,
This time last year I found out the full extent of my husband's problem. I have lost my car and we have now moved. The move was my decision but I wanted to be financially secure with the children.
He's given me control of his money and everything seemed to be going well. Up until he had some kind of graph picture of his phone. He said it was nothing but deleted it before I could see it. When I tried to discuss he walked away and wouldn't come back for hours. Which seemed like history repeating itself.
His gambling resulted in him fraudulently borrowing before.
He said now we have sold the house there's no pressure and he's not tempted. He won't attend the meetings as he doesn't feel the need.
How can someone who has fraudulently borrow to fund the habit just suddenly give up?
He said it was the debt that drove him to gambling but I am not convinced.
He is currently working away and I have asked him to think about how is he going to fix us.
I have given up so much for him but I have got to the point I can't put these niggles aside any longer.
Now it's easy to say all of this while he's away but I know when he comes back so will my love for him.
I just don't know what to do.
I recently lost my mum to covid-19 so I no longer feel like I have anyone to turn to either. I daren't turn to my friends anymore as they think I am mad stopping with him all this time.
Please send me some advise x
Hi @lily20 and welcome to the forum,
I am sorry to hear what you are going through with your husband’s gambling problem and behaviours. I can imagine this is all really stressful and exhausting and will put you on edge as you might now feel like there is always something else to worry about.
I am sorry to hear about your mum's death, and with your husband away it sounds really isolating for you. As I am sure you will come to find, the Forum is a welcoming and supportive space which allows you to talk to others who may also be experiencing similar issues to yourself, so I would imagine you can build up some support through here, giving you somewhere to turn so you don't feel so alone.
Should you be in need of any further support, please feel free to contact the helpline on 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat available from the website https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/ both of which are open seven days a week, 24 hours a day and where one of our advisers will be able to talk, for as long as you need, and look at all the support available to you.
Wishing you all the very best and keep sharing,
Regards
Dan
Forum Admin
Hi Lily,
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time. You've had a lot to deal with finding out about your husband's gambling, moving home and losing your Mum.
The forum can be a great source of help and advice. There is also a friends and family chat room where you can speak to others in a similar position.
Do you think you would be able to sit your husband down and explain your worries to your husband when he comes back? I know it can be hard. My husband is a recovering gambling addict and though we talked about it at length when I found out, it's rarely mentioned now and I often feel like I don't want to dredge it back up when things are going well.
If you are unhappy and have worries though you should try to he honest with him. Chose a time when you are both feeling calm and have time to discuss it. Easier said than done, I know.
Take care and carry on posting. It's important that you look after yourself.
J x
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
