Hi,
Today I found out about my husbands gambling addiction, I’m ashamed to admit it was through snooping his emails. I feel completely blindsided and heartbroken. I saw he had dozens of betting accounts. He’s been transferred money out of savings  and I had no idea. I had no reason to believe i couldn’t trust him. I confronted him and he admitted he’s had a gambling issue for over 10 years and kept it well hidden. What hurts even more is that we just got married recently, I feel so misled and betrayed. He has spent every last penny in his savings, investments, even wedding money we were gifted. He’s accepting help and I’ve taken control of all finances, but I don’t know if this is enough? It would be so helpful to hear other couples experiences and what you did to support/move on.Â
Hi lightening68
i knew my husband liked a bet when I met him. I had no idea what that would lead to. We’ve never had joint accounts. He continued probably for another 15 years. He would gamble loans, set up new bank accounts, get money from family.
I used to go to Gamanon meetings. That’s where I learnt how to be strong, take control and stop enabling him.
I control all the finances. For a while he did cash and receipts. It was only when he finally surrendered money in any form that it stopped.
there are many different views and sources of help. I believe you can’t gamble in any form, raffles, lottery etc. no access to money, money is the drug. Online scrolling through anything is like a slot machine. It’s designed to be addictive.
don’t keep secrets, don’t sort his debt, don’t take debt in your name. Stepchange, national debt line are places to help if you can’t repay.
if you take away the gamblers responsibility for their actions they will never learn the consequences.
it affects everyone, you need as much help and support as him.
the only person you can trust is yourself, only believe what you see. You need full transparency from him.
meetings offer support from others affected by gambling. Gamcare offer counselling. Don’t be afraid or ashamed.
Hi, this exact same thing happened to me too.Â
Hidden for years. Recently married too - I think this is what hurts me the most. He entered into a marriage with me knowing that I'd become partly response for his debts. This and knowing that our future will now be somewhat limited by this addiction is what I'm struggling to come to terms with, as much as I want to support him.
I don't have any answers for you but just to say you're not the only one going through this.Â
@24sw05vqp9 Good evening!
I am sorry to hear that. Have you managed to ‘separate’ your finances? You did not give too much details and some people on this website could give you better advice than me but even if you are married you don’t have to be responsible for his debts etc…
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Candy xxx
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