Unauthorised Loans

Hi oby

im not quite sure what you mean by unauthorised loan.

if a family member has lent your partner money and it’s not official or ‘in writing’ 

or did your partner borrow money without asking you 

overtime I always struggled to repay money that my husband had borrowed. This enabled him. It meant he could borrow more money and got a great credit score.

eventually I realised debt comes last. It’s his debt. If a family member lent him money it wasn’t repaid. If you lend a gambler money you will most likely never see that money again 

if it’s a loan from a bank he (not you) needs to either renegotiate or speak to stepchange or another company/charity that deals with debt management.

its not for you and your children to suffer financially because of his gambling. He needs to take responsibility for his actions.

the eventual outcome for us was when my husband admitted he couldn’t handle any money at all. No access to bank accounts, no credit cards. Cash and receipts.

there is lots of help now, stepchange, national debt line. 

it’s a tough call but you have to be honest and resilient. It’s his debt, not yours.

@merry-go-round thank you for coming back to me.

I should have worded that differently! Essentially,he has taken out loans in my name,so the debt now shows on my credit file.

I hear all your points though! Very helpful and relevant.Thank you!

@oby hi, this was me!!! I took out loans and credit cards in my husband’s name without him knowing!! Almost triple to what you husband has done.

While you could absolutely report him as this is fraud, I guess you need to think of the consequences? My husband didn’t and stuck by me and now we’re going through StepChange to repay the debt, over a longer period of time than originally agreed. 

I’ve read on here that some companies may wipe away the debt if the situation is explained, but it could potentially lead to the above - him being reported etc?! 

I hope you can find a solution to this. I really feel for you. I’m now 2 years gamble free but I couldn’t have done it without the support I got.

Claire x

Right am going to be honest with you i am over 2 years bet free and i took money which didnt belong to me very early in my recovery at the time i wasent ready to quit i knew what i was doing wrong however in my head i was justifying to pay the money back after i did this i got caught out and i never did anything like this again this was at a time i was so addicted before i got any support people can change the main objective what is he doing regarding getting help from my experience an addict needs to show changes and even addicts are good at putting on a front the lies i use to tell myself the difference last few years i wanted to actually change so i got myself on and off into Ga managed 3 years bet free then relapsed it was a learning curve has i thought i was cured which caused many relapses along the way the last replase was my main turning point as i regulary use this site im more aware of the dangers i know i can abstain long periods of time it staying gamble i am also aware the addiction can catch me out so has long has im breathing i need to stay dedicated my life great now and i wish i can say it the end of it but atleast the main focus is am trying your partner need to do this as bare minium even if it not making much of a difference it shows he is trying and blocks even giving up some financial control shows dedication i can understand money is required day to day basis he should be asking u to take over financial control i would do this without asking simply by giving up peace off mind sadly my family dont understand this addiction and am on my own