i am a newbie yet I've been at this gambling rubbish for 30 years finally hitting rock bottom 2 weeks ago today.
Its a weird feeling I've spent thousands and thousands of pounds had all the bitter feelings and just keep going back for more. I am fortunate to have a decent paying job and not saddled with huge debt I don't have loans overdrafts or credit cards that is mainly due to a ccj on my file and in a strange kind of way I am very glad its there as it has stopped me getting any credit. 3 weeks ago i signed up to a new casino/ sportsbook site I have self excluded from more than 50 different sites yet there is always more popping up. In a week i deposited and lost more than 10000 pounds the thing though that i found really weird that on my last day of this 25th of Feb is that at one point I had some huge wins and got the account up to 15 grand of course i lost it all yet the feelings where identical winning or losing just seemed to bringing the same misery i had never ever experienced that b4 a 600 spin a 3600 win and no difference in feelings just misery regret and self loathing.
Next step was to ring the gamcare adviser who i have to say was excellent usual stuff self exclude be honest with people keep a diary but also suggested ringing bank and stopping gambling transactions. I never knew this was possible so i called the bank 10 min later card was frozen i have to go through all matter of things if i want this unfrozen. 2 weeks ago today this was i have not gone 3 days in 30 years without gambling its scary when i think of it like that and today is 2 weeks. I would love to come on and say i feel so much better but the reality is at the moment i just feel I've wasted 30 years and still have that self loathing. I hope i can continue bet free reality is i am not sure i can but i pray i find the strength. one thing is being 2 weeks bet free is incredible to me and every single day i am getting up and going get in i didn't bet yesterday thanks for listening steve
Hi Steve and Welcome to the forum.
You have taken a giant step forward by doing that. You are not alone and you should take some comfort in that thought. You are one of millions who developed this problem, myself included.
You are now giving yourself time to heal and learn about this as a drug addiction. Its a monumental scam and they sold you a lie...a drug you were soon hooked on.
Bit by bit you will start to see this clearly as a mugs game. all the risk was with you and you can forget any ideas of sticking it to the man, them being kind to you or free money.
Its NONE of those things. It's set up to make them money on top of the multi millions hedge fund they already have..they dont care if the small fry are up or down...overall they make a fortune from it just like the government do.
You really do need to tell loved ones and you need to sit down with non gamblers and talk through why its actually a mugs game.
Its a complex addiction which gets into your bones. The main hook is the act of gambling and its not actually about the money once hooked. A
As you say its a known fact that the feelings of winning and losing melt into one..I often grunted in derision whatever was happening because the drug was the spinning of the reels.
Its hard to understand at first but true.. I had no plans for the money and the money meant little to me until I couldn't buy any food.
Then it hit home HARD but only until I gambled again. Thats why this is a nasty, insidious and deadly addiction which kills people to be blunt about it
So please build on the blocks because you are going to rattle a bit and you can never be complacent again for the rest of your life.
Its an addiction which bides its time as it knows your weaknesses and chinks in your armour.
You will build strength though and you will make it history with the right recovery. Both Fear and Respect this addiction because that is a positive statement you can build you life on. Learn about it because knowledge is strength!
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Well done Steve. Im on day 35 and never done that since I was about 17.. now 37. Keep all the blocks in place etc and gamcare is fantastic you can also install gamban on your devices to block you from gambling on sites. Good luck here for a chat if u need it
That feeling you mention of winning and losing felt the same. That’s because either way - you knew deep down you’d gamble whatever winnings away.
thanks for the replies your probably right mark I would have just gambled the winnings. I rang gamcare yesterday as i was really struggling once again they where excellent . What i am going through seams to be perfectly normal for people in my position i have not relapsed and onto the 15 th day without a gamble can i keep it going well that's the million doller question. This forum helps I read up every day its amazing reading some on the stories its like looking in a mirror. I do worry though betting shops will reopen soon and i will once again have that temptation huge respect to all on here its a tough spot for us all. stephen
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