Advice Welcomed

giving gamcare a call might be a good start?

Hi J2007,

Firstly can I just say I've been where you are. I am still reeling from my discovery of my husbands deceit, debt and gambling.

I'm sure you have read on here that actually you can't do anything unless they want to help themselves. I have done it all - got him a counsellor, spoke to gam care, got him to GA- he has rejected it all. I guess you just have to do all the practical things to limit further financial damage. A credit check might be worth it. Is he relieved now it's out in the open? Keep talking would be my advise. Many gamblers seem to start as a means of escaping from stress. Maybe limit his access to money if he is open to that. How are you feeling? For me the lies were very difficult to get over. Try to take of yourself through it all. It's not all about them!

Come to a gam anon meeting if you can get to one. We know how you feel.

Hi Katiecola

I think he believes that he doesn't need help. I will now monitor it I'm going to deal with all finances and take all cards etc away but I don't want to overstep the mark and start treating him like a child. Luckily the debt isn't too bad looking at £700 but it is the lies that hurt. Not really to sure how I feel, mainly upset to see my 'blokey' husband have a breakdown over it all and feel as though I have failed him. It will take time and patience but hopefully we'll get there.

Hi J2007,

I can't really add much to what people have posted. If he says it's down to work stress etc he needs to see his GP for guidance.

You definitely need to take over the financial reins to limit his gambling capacity. You need to make sure Gambling sites are blocked online. He needs to self exclude from local bookies if he has used them.

There can be no half measures only the strongest measures. Tough Love is best.

I've been a CG and I know all the excuses and lies that we have told. Believe me.

I'm now nearly 50 days "clean".

Thanks and Best Wishes.