Am I a gamling addict-do I need help

Hi mate, sounds all too familiar, stop now, stop for your daughter, in 2012 my daughter was born and pretty much the same. You cannot win it back, its gone, the only way to win is use the money you have wisely..pay the debts with that money and never have that losing feeling as every day you will be a winner for steering clear of it. I f you do feel the urge put the money you would of liked to bet in a jar and put it in the cupboard, and come the end of the year you will have more in the jar than even if half of your bets came in. Dont feed the habit, control the illness.

Yep, it sounds familiar.

You need to prioritise, Your family comes first. DON'T GAMBLE. Read what BNB has to say again. Seek counselling via this site or go to GA. Believe me if you carry on gambling it'll really f**k you life up. I'm not joking. It f*cked mine up right and proper.

Hi nwukmale53

Good on you coming here and giving it a check whether you are addicted. I also exclusively bet on horses and I always said to myself that I can eventually win as I am quite good at it. There were days I came out in profit after all, right. Well, the way it works is, you always give that profit (if you can ever call it that) back in multiples. I know exactly how u feel. I had bet almost for the last 13 years on horses. I always thought over the years I inproved my betting. I studied the form, followed the certain horses, trainers, jockeys etc. When I won, it was me using my skills but when I lost and I usually lost much more than I won through chasing losses, was down to not sticking my system. Trying to find a logic was just unbelievable.

My friend I had seen in those bookies just a very few people that they'd put a fiver on a horse and if they lost they'd just say oh well and walk out. I am not one of them. When I lost I had to win it back and most of the times I just could not walk away until I lost whatever is in my pocket and more. Over the years i even sold belongings to fund the gambling at which I am ashamed of. I never did this before I started gambling. Like yourself I maxed out credit cards, used borrowed money to gamble. It is what it is, no difference, it is gambling all the same. You also used borrowed money, somebody elses money to fund gambling and willing to chase what you lost. You are saying that you can it win back. These are the signs of gambling addiction. So think again, how will you feel if you lose another say £3-4k chasing. Chances are u will be very upset as you can have a really nice holiday with that kind of money abroad with your family. It is a pointless activity, so if you stop now it is guaranteed that your life won't be made worse by gambling.

Today I am 10 day free from gambling and I feel better. I just don't need it's emotional ups downs. Urges come and go but I have resisted them so far. One day at a time, no rushing. I will keep abstaining from it for the sake of a better life for me and my family. Give it try and stop it, for a while at least. Past has gone you cannot change it. Money lost has also gone and if you chase it you will lose more much more. Just pay the debt and move on. Find something else to do. If you can distance yourself from gambling it will eventually get easier to find something else to do. I did it before and I am going to do it again. So you can do it too. It is me done with the gambling.

Best wishes on your journey.

Ergos (Compulsive gambler in recovery) - Last bet 21 Jan 2015

Ergos,

You nail it with this response.

It reads like the perfect "blue print" description of true addiction.

When the gambler is "winning" it's as easy as shelling peas.

When losing it's down to the pawn shop etc and a life filled with guilt, deception plus a mountain of debt.

This site is brilliant. If people can only take notice of what is said on here. Some of them who are still in the early grip of gambling will save themselves from a whole mess of future trouble.

Hi,

i am reading and starting to understand, thanks for your guidance. I have had a live chat and given my details to them so a councillor should get in touch. As it stands right now I owe 14k. It can only get better hey, if I quit. I think the next step is to tell someone as I am still doing this alone I haven't told anyone as yet. My wife or my mum and dad etc. Not sure how it will go down. If I stop now I feel I am stopping before the real long term damage. I have a successful business and a house with decent equity and commercial premises. This illness will gladly take that from me won't it!

i keep listening to song by Ryan Adams called stop! About his addiction. The chorus line says "if you wanna make it stop, STOP!"

ill keep logging on. Thanks so far.

No probs guys. MrStop thanks for your comments, I appreciate it. We are all on the same boat here so no one should judge another. Our aim is to recover from the grip of a gambling addiction. It will take time, we all know this. We just need to be alert when the urge comes and do everything in our power to resist it. Because it was that thinking of, oh tenner wouldn't hurt or I know I am gonna come out with a profit because there are good races on today, put us in to the arms of the gambling addiction in the first place.

Nwukmale53 my friend I am glad to hear that you have a good business. You are absolutely right by saying that gambling addiction won't mind taking it from you and leave you and your family with nothing. So pls stay away from gambling at all costs to keep your business and the other things you have that way.

I always spoke to my wife about my addiction and how I feel. She'd tell me when I lost or won money anyway just by looking at me when I come home from the bookies. She has always been supportive allthough she didn't understand the addiction initially but later witnessed some of the things that made her upset. She is ok with it know and we can always talk about it. So I would say speak to your wife about how you feel. Initially she may not understand but I am sure you'll get some support along the way. This addiction is so sneaky that it wants us to fight alone so whenever we feel weak we can go back to it.

Anyways for me it's one day at a time, no rushing. I will NOT gamble today.

I wish you guys all the best for your recoveries however you take it.

Ergos

If anyone really wants to stop gambling here is help it does work for me. block all your account from betting sites , such as w**********l b****5 etc. they will blocked for 5 years and you cant re open again . also block all gambling sites from your broadband. Most important thing is let someone have your debit or credit card . let them to control your pay, bills etc . what i did is i let my gf have my card and we rang bank told them to send me new card with different numbers . so I did not have my card since jun 2014 , never gambled since it does really work . i am verry happy person now , have a good social life , going on hoidays spending money on good things. never look at your past guys past is past lets look your future and see what can u change . you never win on gambling . i was gambled on football many times ,with big money . had no money on payday , plus credit card deth etc . belive me guys you can do it. just belive your self . think about good things not a gambling , gambling is evil game and made you feel like.........! if you need any help I am here to hellp you . sorry about my english ! as i am not a british and i do speak 5 language. I wish u allstop gambling good by

hi Youmeus4ever,

Don't worry about your English. You are a happy person now and say you have a good social life. That's it the past has gone and can't be changed but we can look forward to the futue with confidence..

Cheers..

Hi,

Hope all are doing good. Just thought I would give a brief update. Came clean to my wife yesterday and all was good, she has pledged to help me, not judge me and move forward. She paid one of my cedit cards off today so my debt is halved. Just got to knuckle down now and stay away from gambling. Really now its been 72 hrs since my last bet and I dont feel like a bet at all in fact I am glad to get off the treadmill. Glad to be feeling free of it and glad to be improving my situation, working with people I love and getting better.I know everyones situations are different and mine may seem easier to some and you may be right, I have I feel got to this early and although the damage financially isnt massive, personally, mentally and physically it was. Money isnt everything, when I think of the time I have wasted and the energy it angers me now and I dont feel like a bet in the slightest, but I am keeping on guard, gambling is sneaky and the minute my feelings change I hope to be ready.

So her goes that line everybody says "stop, tell someone, get help" simple it seems now but hey its the truth.

Long way to go yet but the longest of journeys starts with a single step. And I feel that journey in the right direction I have taken the first step.

Councelling on Wednesday, good luck to all.

Well done for coming clean . Have you thought of or do you attend GA. There really is no substitute for talking to others face to face who have been where you are

nwukmale53,

Best Wishes. I hope the counselling goes well.

Hi mate

Well done for talking to your wife and staying away 72 hrs from gambling. That is 3 days and it is a good start. I wish you well on your road to recovery but just make sure to know the value of your wife paying half of your debt. It is a lot of money to pay for a mess that was not created by her. So don't forget this when the going gets tough and don't go back to the horrible addiction.

All the best

Ergos

Hi,

Yes I understand the commitment to myself from my wife, later in the year (after end of financial year) I can take monies from my business and re-imburse her and pay some of the debt off. This money should be for a family holiday though or for things for the house etc etc so really I am starting to understand the value of this. Before when gambling the value of the money I was putting up never really bothered me or shocked me and to be honest my reality of these grotesque amounts is still not as it should be. But slowly but surely its hitting home. I still haven't had a bet nor wanted to, I am just not looking at any racing pages or anything at present, if I saw where racing was today or the runners and riders I may be tempted but I am steering clear. The roller coaster of emotions day to day is enough right now, I have devoted so much time to racing and been so stressed I have not really realised where my mind and body have gotten to. Right now its just time to take time out take stock and try to be strong.

As of 1310 today that 96 hours without losing a penny.

Onwards and upwards

Well done on your 96hrs and hopefully many more. On your comment regarding racing pages its maybe an idea to miss your papers for a few months until you are stronger as i know from experience this is a trigger. Initially i i would not even look at the racing pages then it was just a glance then a....i wonder how such and such a jockey/trainer is doing then its checking yesterdays results thinking i would have bet this and that winner then the inevitable i'll just bet this horse in a controlled manner...it looses and all of a sudden you are well down and cursing everything and everyone with inner knowledge you have let yourself and everyone else down again...drained...stressed...disgusted...embarressed and so many other colourful descriptive words.

Thats my numerous experiences,sorry for going on.

Stay strong.