Oh no

Thanks for that. I am not sure whether to speak to my parents they are quite elderly and it would hurt them a lot. Is it better not to tell them?

Hi Down and Out

Well done for posting. It is good that you have come to this forum, as there is a lot of support on here, and it seems like you have already experienced this.

You ask if you should tell your parents. The answer to this question may very well be known to you, however I could give you some things to consider. Most people with gambling problem have talked about the relieve they felt when they let out the secret they were holding and the lies they have been telling their loved ones. Most felt that their loved ones had already suspected that there was something wrong with them even though they did not know that it was gambling, they knew things were not right and their loved ones were relieved to know what it was, and were supportive.

You mentioned that your parents were elderly and you do not want to 'hurt them', you may want to think about how your gambling is affecting them now, if it is in anyway even though they do not know. ie, if you have had to ask them for money, and so on... If this is the case, then it may be right to let them know as bailling out does not help recovery, what it does is to give a clean slate for the gambler to carry on gambling.

If you will like to talk to an adviser on our Netline/Helpline you can be helped to look at stratergies that you can put in place to help you with your gambling. We can also help you to get counselling if you will like that.

You have done very well to come and talk to us on here.

Whatever you decide, keep posting on here and people will support you.

My Regards

Forum Admin.

Thanks for the posts that are supportive. I have realised that maybe my main motivation for talking to my parents is probably that I have to find the money for all my bills this month and rent. So it is probably for the wrong reasons. I am at the having to get money together for the bills stage and of course I can't get credit anywhere. I hate this part of the cycle. I hope this is the last time I have to beg and borrow and steal.

Hi Down and Out,

Only you know if your parents can take what you have to tell them. Yes, you are desperate and need to find the money for your bills. You may have to bite the bullet and go to them for financial help. If you do, get them to pay your bills direct if possible. Show them proof that you will go to GA or via Gamcare for counselling. Even if they have to pay to get the blocks on gambling sites via gamblock etc. If you ask them to do it you can repay their kindness at some point in the future.

Apologise tothem for putting them in this position. If they can help do not let them down. They will have shown trust in you.

Get all measures in place to prevent the possibility of gambling in future.

Cheers

Thanks all for the support.

Hi Down and out, it may be worth you having a read of Mr Brightside's exit post! Regardless of whether or not you decide to tell your parents, you need to figure out how to address your recovery & you sure came to a great place 🙂 I see Gamcare have already posted & there are many wise words within this forum! Without money you cannot gamble as the Time-Money-Location triangle is broken but you will have to look @ ways of keeping it broken once pay day arrives! You can do this - ODAAT

Congratulations on your 1st week 🙂

Oh thanks, very kind of you to notice.

Well back again didn't see it through and keep gambling. I didn't self exclude so I guess I hadn't really given up. Devastating losses again. What. Is wrong with me at the moment . I am such a fool. Why has it got worse.

Have now excluded from online accounts. A start anyway.

For some people it does get worse and worse than many can imagine

Abstinence isn't always enough

You might need quite a bit of help

Hi Down and out,

Your posts have really hit home with me. I kept telling myself that I needed to stop and promised myself I would...but I only made half arsed attempts at it e.g. getting a "cooling-off" period instead of self excluding. I knew deep down that I would go back to it so couldn't bring myself to self exclude. And the times I did self exclude, I never blocked the gambling sites from my laptop so was always free to open another account 'if I needed to'.

When I came on here for the first time on Saturday, I decided that enough is enough. I spoke to a gamcare agent who advised self excluding AND blocking access by downloading the software...which I initially thought was unnecessary...but I did it anyway. This evening I had one of the strongest urges I have ever had to get online and gamble but knew I couldn't because it was blocked. If I really wanted to I could have found a way around it, but all the obstacles I had put in place to stop myself made me remember the reason I put them there to begin with...this was enough to help me fight the urges...this time anyway.

Also, I have kept it from my loved ones for over 2 years and they could see the changes in me but didn't know why. I always came up with the excuse that I had too much work to do, I was stressed etc. I eventually told my mum the other day (which was always the most daunting part about my recovery) and she took it so unbelievably well! I knew she was angry and disappointed but she mostly wanted to help. She wanted me to fight my addiction and get better. I really feel like it's a weight lifted off my shoulders and the fact that I have told her now makes me not want to disappoint her or have to lie to her when she asks me how I'm getting on.

I know that's very long winded but I hope it gives you a better idea about where I'm coming from instead of me just advising you to 'block gambling sites and tell your parents'. I think if you truly want to give up gambling you have to commit 100%. If you're making half arsed attempts (like I did) then you are not ready...but the sooner you decide to quit, the better. It's not worth feeling like this and it WILL only get worse. Even a big win leads to more gambling and more losses so instead of getting yourself into more debt by feeling guilty about what you have already lost, make the decision to stop now and move forward.

Best of Luck xx

Down and out,

I know how hard things can be. You need serious help. I repeat get counselling and or go to GA.

Take Care Now.

Hello Down & Out,

This is a live and learn life we lead.

The beginning of your quit starts with the desire to not want to gamble, but does not stop there, as I have learned over the years. Like bawnee said, the more obstacles you have in place to prevent you from gambling, the more chances of success you will have. The less access you have to money, the more chances again of success you will have.

As time goes on, you will learn to handle your triggers better that lead you to gambling.

I am hoping for your success Down & Out.

Regards,

AM