4 years and what seems like a lifetime since the last time I posted on these forums. I wish I could say that since that point I've overcome what I now know is a severe gambling problem, but I keep falling into the same traps and the same illusions of control that have plagued me for the past 6 years.
Why today? What has changed that suddenly made me want to seek advice on dealing with my problem again? As with most of these stories it starts with a win.. Gradually over the past month my gambling activity has been ramping up. I rediscovered my love of poker, and when that started waning, moving on to roulette, blackjack and even a new "friend" online slots. In the past 48 hours, I have fluctuated from £2500 up to £900 down, the worst swing going through £2500 in the space of 20 minutes.
A little bit about me. I'm coming up to 31 next week, currently seeing someone who has a bit of knowledge about my gambling but has no idea of the extent of my addiction. I have a solid job, that earns enough to live on and give me a sizeable amount of disposable income. I have recently inherited a large cash sum, which to be honest with you all terrifies the living day lights out of me. An hour removed from my madness run at blackjack I can easily see how I would run through that cash in no time.
I have protected myself slightly. The money is in an account that would take me several days to access. But I still could. I have to be able to take control of my life again, and not spend all of my spare time (and some of my working time) thinking about gambling, or worse risking a significant sum of money on it.
Throughout my life I have struggled with several addictions, but they all have one common thread - that they occupy my time. The most success I have had with toning down on my gambling is when I have had something to replace it (normally some other form of online gaming). Now whilst this isn't a healthy alternative, it is better than risking my future. My dream goal is a life where I have my addictions completely under control, and am not living in fear of them.
I don't know what the next step is for me, probably trusting in my partner to let her know the extent of my problems. My concern is this could all make her run a mile which they could trigger another spin into the depressive gambling cycle.
Any advice gratefully appreciated.
Thanks for listening!
Fore
hi there i'm not sure of the amount you inherited obviously but have you thought about buying a property ? e.g. a second home for weekends / holidays etc by the coast somewhere ? the sooner you can solidify the cash the better, as you know if you are attracted to gambling then having a substantial sum is like handing a lit match & petrol to a pyromaniac. Maybe hand the savings book / account details where the inherited sum is held to your partner for her to hide somewhere in the meantime ? If you have money then ask yourself why you need more ? if you don't need more then explore why you are gambling. Take care.
hi there i'm not sure of the amount you inherited obviously but have you thought about buying a property ? e.g. a second home for weekends / holidays etc by the coast somewhere ? the sooner you can solidify the cash the better, as you know if you are attracted to gambling then having a substantial sum is like handing a lit match & petrol to a pyromaniac. Maybe hand the savings book / account details where the inherited sum is held to your partner for her to hide somewhere in the meantime ? If you have money then ask yourself why you need more ? if you don't need more then explore why you are gambling. Take care.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
