So today it has been a week since i last gambled, ive been paid which ive not had to worry about since i have handed over my finances to my partner, although i do feel quite low in morale today.
Anyway to the title, today i heard a song which i feel the lyrics relate to me as a gambler
I'll be your clown
Behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh
'Cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me
I'll be your clown
On your favorite channel
My life's a circus, circus
Round in circle
I'm selling out tonight
I'd be less angry if it was my decision
And the money was just rolling in!
When i listened to them i pictured myself sitting there at the bookies on the machines feeding my money in clown like while the bookmakers behind the glass laughing his head off and to be fair its quite embarrassing.
WELL NOT NO MORE!!
Hi Bop5 times.
You will become calmer and even serene as time goes on. You will start looking at life in new ways and realise there are better things to be doing with your time
You will have days that are worse than others. Thats part of living but gambling was never the answer.
keep talking about it. Focus on what gambling actually did to you.
You will begin to wonder why you ever did it. I dont miss it at all and it makes me shudder sometiomes to think how out of control and ill with the addiction I was. Make no mistake addiction is an illness. You can fear that word or realise the power of the addicted mind which can be healed with the right help
You should feel a great sense of relief that someone is controlling your finances.
I have my self respect back and on a basic level, the things I can now actually afford to buy are almost surprising to me.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thanks for the reply, it means alot. As for the self respect part will i ever get that back? Ive borrowed and stole off family to fund this addiction. They have forgiven me but the anxiety and guilt i have for my actions, i can barely speak to them.
You will get that back when they see your honesty and understand more about the addiction. We were not bad people. Its an addiction which shreds relationships and does make people steal to fund the fix
You can help things along with good deeds and a focus on whats important. Its a born again moment and you do get your self respect back when you know you are living in a better gamble free way.
You cant turn ther clock back but you do have to show people what you are doing and plan to do. If you reach out for help and live monitored on an allowance thats a great start down the right road
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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