I’ll stop at £100. I’ll stop at £200. I’ll stop at £500. Why did I just burn through a grand? I’ve struggled with gambling for years. I nearly went two years without gambling and then relapsed briefly and burned a couple of hundred. Then I went seven months before this latest relapse. I’m not making excuses and I feel like such a piece of ****, but I have been under a lot of pressure. My girlfriend has been in a deep depression and our relationship has suffered. I had to stop talking with a good friend because her husband got paranoid and thought there was something going on despite us living hundreds of miles apart. So I basically felt alone. The bad news is that most ofthe money I burned through was savings. The good news is that I did not get into debt through this latest binge. The thing that always scares me when I stop is how will I cope with the emptiness that was filled by gambling? I know I will be ok in time, but the first few days and weeks are always the hardest.
Hello Hoang Vuong,
We moved your post from the 'Family and friends' section to this 'New members introductions' section, as it seems to fit better here and we hope more people will see it here and it might be more likely to receive replies here.
You mentioned that you have stopped gambling for a couple of years in the past, and more recently for seven months. Well done to you for remaining gambling-free for these extended periods of time. Reflecting on those times might bring to mind methods you used back then that could be useful to employ again. For example, had you used self-exclusion agreements during those periods, or had you put your money out of reach, or had you devoted your time to other interests as a way to move on from gambling?
You posted that you experience an emptiness in the absence of gambling. Perhaps you could explore this with a therapist to gain more insight into this emptiness, whether it is to do with your brain missing the stimulation of gambling, or whether it is more an existential issue pointing to a search for meaning in your life, or whether it is related to an emotional issue like unresolved grief or loneliness. If you are based in Britain you could call us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 to find out more about free therapy services in your area.
Please feel welcome to continue posting on the forum, maybe you'd like to join a 'Challenge' thread in the 'Overcoming' section, or start a diary in the 'Recovery diaries' section.
Take care,
Forum admin.
"Why do we do what we do " ? and that's the milloin dollar question ( excuse the pun ) ! .
You describe it as your " Latest binge " and it would appear from your pattern it is just that, binge gambling for a short period when your stressed or life isn't going quite right ? , where as mine was more of a " Constant gambling " as I couldn't go a couple of hours without a punt if I'm honest but I truely dion't know if one form is any better than the other as the end result is alway's the same ?.
Is pretty obvious that your relationship / social and domestic life is playing a part in this cycle of making you this way and just as with most of us , this is what you need to address / look into in order to find the trigger as it's just a form of self medicating so things don't hurt .
I think as admin have said maybe therapy of some sort maybe the way forward for you , either with gamcare or privately if that's an option or perhaps GA where you can speak openly to others ? .
The one good point is that as of yet there's no financial damage regarding debt although as youv'e said savings have been used , could you move available funds out of reach so as the next time it won't be as easy to access , I'm not saying this will stop you but it will afford you some thinking time ? .
I wish you well my friend :))
Hi
Why we do it is the burning question which can start to be answered when we learn about addiction and go deep within our souls. It takes a good amount of time to answer that question so you need to be ready to embrace recovery
Its firmly linked to depression, loneliness emptiness and the feeling nobody really cares. Its also linked to fear and uncertainty. One of my sessions was linked to a neighbour moving out and the fear of the unknown. Its sounds crazy but that triggered a £500 gambling session loss.
I have always suffered from an anxiety, loneliness and a fear of commitment with relationships.
However a gambling addiction is complex in that it acts like a soothing drug, a fix and a temporary escape which is actually destroying us. The more often we gambled we could get that fix and delude ourselves everything was going to be alright.It is the most dangerous of addictions because it twists hope into thinking its all going to come right in the end.
It isnt because a compulsive gambler ignores the odds in favour of lady luck which doesnt actually exist...just random chance based on calculated odds.
Loneliness is tough but gambling or any quick fix isnt the answer. Ive sat in a crowded room or in groups and still felt lonely so its about a born again moment and a new look at life.
I work in the hospitality industry now and its really helping me. Ive been invited to go ballroom dancing and all sorts of things and Im going to do it.
As a compulsive gambler I couldnt stop because I needed to play...the draw was the playing so the money became secondary even though I had no food in my cupboards.
The cure is abstention with full blocks. Openness and honesty in telling people and getting help.
You will cope with the emptiness by realising gambling was a false pleasure. Past an early point I dont belive it was ever really fun if at all.
Try and explain a gambling session to someone and you will soon see how little fun it was. Towards the end it was more of a cold sweat fix of self harm that I was getting.
Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling and I hope you will join us
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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