Im Chris. Twenty years old.
Here's a little bit about my story.
This year I started gambling, little bets £10 here £20 there with online gambling sites. A few months in and I started winning big and putting more and more money on. At one point I was at around £5k, after only ever using £200 of my own money. I maintaned this mark for a few weeks, loosing a few hundred here and there and winning it back.
One weekend I lost the lot. Obviously I was desvasted, but this put me off. I didn't gamble for a few weeks. Then It started again same thing, made it up to around about the same mark, £5 - 6k.
I tried to stop while I was up as I knew how bad it had felt before, but It was always 'when I get to £xxx Ill stop.'
Fast forward a few more weeks and it was all gone again, this time I had also took a £1000 overdraft with the bank and spent it all.
Enough was enough. One night I phoned my dad, who was at work and told him I had been an idiot. I told him everything, and he helped me through it. Within a few months the overdraft was paid off and I though I had stopped for good.
Now, 3 months later, I don't even remember the reason why but I started again. This time I never made more than a few hundred. I lost probably £1,500 in a few weeks, but only money I had. Then I did soemthing stupid and took the overdraft out again, obviously lost it all. Now here I am today, sitting in bed, -£1000 into my overdraft, 1x £2000 Loan, 2x £1000 and £175 left from them all. Just lost my job.
I don't know what to do, but this is enough, I hate how gambling makes me, always angry, snappy.
I can't bring myself to tell anyone before christmas.
The most painful thing is I was planning on travelling America and Australia this year, my family think I have a few thousand saved already for it, little do they know im -£4000. The fact I can't do what I've been planning for the past year, what I've worked for is killing me.
Anyway sorry it's been long ....
Just thought this site might help me keep on track. Also does anyone have any tips on staying motivated while paying off this loan? I have a feeling I'm going to run back to gambling everytime I start paying it off. I really hate what i've become.
Chris.
Hi Chris,
Just take one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be. Today is day 1 for me too, I did try in October and managed 9 days but stupidly went back to it worse than ever! But it's made me realise I can't go on these sites not even for a minute cos the minute I'm there it will be a downward spiral all over again. I found last time writing on here everyday really helped me as people understand on here but no one in my family knows so definately writing on here. Don't look back, only forwards from now, the money is gone, if you try to win it back you'll lose more. X
Hi Chris , the morale is you can't Win cos you can't stop! simple as.
No amount you win will ever be enough;the targets you set will just increase over time.
I take the view that winning is worse than losing whilst winning you're just delaying the enivatable
It's a lose,lose situation,gambling is poison to you.
You've got your whole life in front of you,i wish I could rewind the clock 21 years and be 20 and realise the misery and pain gambling would cause me,you're an intelligent chap you've made in roads already by coming to this site.
You're right gambling makes you feel snappy and miserable all for the quest of that winning buzz.
It's a merry go round that always ends up with all of us feeling miserable.
If I was you,I'd do whatever possible,self exclude everywhere,tell your family your problem let some one take care of you'd finances for a while,put blocks on your pc;tablet whatever,attend ga.
I know these are hard things to do;but the more blocks you have in place the more chance you will succeed in the long run.
Enjoy you're recovery,take each day as it comes,you've turned the corner.
Good luck on the job front and happy Christmas, you can do this chris.
Trigger
Hi, mrs_mre & Trigger
Thanks both for the words of support. I know everything your saying is true, im just finding it hard.
Unfortunatly in the early hours of this morning I lost another £400.
But on the bright side, today I told my dad, despite not wanting to ruin his christmas, I had no choice. I found myself seconds away from accepting another loan this morning, so telling him has really helped I think. At the minute hes angry and dissapointed, which I completly understand but I know in time he will come around and help me through this.
Thanks again for your help guys.
Have a good Christmas.
Hey Chris
I hope you are ok and not too down on yourself. Get through Xmas and try and enjoy it. I usually gamble in the early hours, if my boyfriend is staying I sneak into my spare room and put the PC on and away I go, before I know it its 3 or 4 in the morning and my bank balance has dwindled. If he isn't staying which is most of the week, I'm on my iPad in my bed. Gambling is so easily available wherever and whenever now. I don't do bookies or casinos, it's all online and it is quite frankly evil. Make today the first day of the rest of your life 🙂
Take care and all the best
Janie
Hey Janie00,
Thanks for the words of support, it helps sp much just to hear someone say they understand. I hope your still keeping strong in recovery. Today is so hard for me, especially right now. I had a bet lined up to but on, before I came clean and said enough is enough, it just so happens it is coming in, all four of the football games are going in my fvaour at half time. Odds would have been 12/1, my wager would have been £1000 (Silly I know) especially money I didn't have but watching it come in is killing me. Why couldnt I have waited one more day to realise this needed to stop.
Anyway Im staying strong so far, Just hope I can keep it up for Day 2!
Just incase anyone's interested of course it came in. £13000 return it would have been. Im angry but at the same time proud of myself. Yes My bank balence could have been £8000, instead of -£5000 and tonight I would be out celebrating instead of being broke but I wouldn't have stopped and I know it would still be taking over my life. So for that im happy.
Done it again. -£6000 debt.
That is why it does not matter Chris win or lose keeping it going is going to end up in Disaster
Hi Chris,
I'm not really educated enough to give you advice, I am in a very similar situation to yours and in a lot of debt but i'm going to give it a go.
Its hard to stop and it is hard to understand why we keep doing this but today I have read Sabine's diary in the diary section of this site. What an inspiration, she takes you on a journey and gives us insight into her life. Her ups and downs an emotional rollercoaster, keep reading peoples posts diaries and attend GA. I have attended GA in the past and I stopped for a short period but when I stopped going I returned to my old ways and my situation has escalated to levels I am not ready to talk about just yet.
There are many sucess stories on here and it was only today that I read a reply to my post which directed me to read them, do the same and know that we can turn our lives around.
Much love
Nat
Chris,
Know how you're feeling, maybe you need someone to talk to that is going through the same stuff, would you find a private chat a help? I am open to it if you want, let me know?
Hey Sboy,
Yeah that would be great dude.
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