Hello, What a year it’s been....
Exactly 1 year on the 12th of Jan i placed my first bet. It was an accumulator on the football; £20 on return £1800. Couldn’t believe it when it came in!.. what a feeling.
Well what was one of the best days of my life slowly turned into the worst year by far.. by June i was heavily hooked betting on the football online, a goal here, 2 goals there in play, all started so well. I managed to "build a healthy pot" and thought i had a plan to stay sensible without losing much at a time.. keeping the pot safe. Predictably that never happened, i got the bug of "rolling" big money on a goal in play on a bet which couldn’t lose (say Real Madrid to score at home.. BANKER Surely?!!). 2K quickly became 3K and 3K quickly became 6K and so on.. It’s all great till it was gone in flash, 0-0 after 90mins, got to be a fix surely!???. I was livid, losing a pot you've built up over a few days feels like a life time. Didn’t know what to do.
After a couple of hours I was sure I could win it back; I know, why don’t I transfer some from my savings, say 5k?.. I could roll it on a goal inplay for a £1000 pot to continue with – obviously I’ll bank my original stake and my Mrs will be none the wiser!....
I’ll skip a few months now. Has you’ve guess it, the 5k savings never got banked; in fact it was much worse, before I knew I’d lost over 15K of savings all betting in play on football within 2 months. Don’t get me wrong I had some great wins, raised my bank to almost double that over a period but it never lasts. lost the lot.. I had a name for losing on goals; LT.Cloag (Lost The C****** Lot On A Goal), this became a standing joke with close friends who also had a dabble.. Comes to something when you can laugh and joke about losing lots of money.. What a mind set to be in? no value of money what so ever.. (this is money I’ve earned through working over many years?? What was I thinking?!!)
It became the first and last thing I think about every day, nothing else mattered. I was at work betting most of the day or out shopping with the Mrs and kids.. phone betting apps and sports update apps meant my money was never safe, always time for a bet.
The addiction became much more serious now.. I need to get that 15K back in the bank without the Mrs’s finding out. My credit rating was 999 out of 1000, never had a problem with finance or payments so banks throwing credit offers my way monthly.. Convinced myself if I spent a bit more time picking my bets (not just jumping on the first in play football game I see!) I could use some money from credit cards, build a nice pot “to go again” and pay the card off before the payment day. Easy money! Never a doubt… on and on it goes.
So what about now? .. I’ve lost 15K of savings and run up credit and overdrafts debts way above this figure with nothing to show. Truly the worst year of my life. I spoke with many people about it including StepChange charity to help with controlling the debts. I’ve had to come to turns with the 15K savings loss, this has gone and I’ve only myself to blame..
This is my second week since I self excluding from all betting accounts and I’ve not placed a bet since, it was hard initially but knowing there’s other ways to control my debts and not having to “chase” them back helps me get by..
I’m hoping 2015 will be a fresh start and this chapter of my life can be closed off for good, Just my partner to come clean with now.
Coming clean is the best thing you can do mate.
I didn't and tried to do it alone and relapsed! Came clean 2.5 months ago and life has dramatically changed for the better and the relief in indescribable!
i admitted I thinking it might end my relationship and I was prepared for that I was making myself ill with worry and chasing!
Confessing really helped although it was the hardest thing I ever did.
your story sounds similar to mine, I loved a quick in play fix, football, rugby, tennis all next goal, next try, next game, next corner. All quick outcomes to buzz off.
now I have rediscovered my love of football which I couldn't imagine watching without being desperate for corners etc.
keep posting and stay strong!
Great opening post, very honest which is hard for us gamblers to do.
Agree with the Fighter, hardest thing to do coming clean but the best thing you can do. We've all lied to our other halves too long, it will be a relief for you but petrifying.
The £15k and more is gone now but you seem like a very intelligent person from your post and I'm sure without the distraction of gambling you can recover financially and emotionally and become stronger from it.
Great work with the self-exclusion, I'd even look to exclude from any sites you've not yet signed up for, if there are any!
A lot of us have been there. The worst thing you can do is start off with a win. It makes it all seem so easy. Unfortunately only a tiny percentage of gamblers can make a profit and must of us just get our fingers burnt.
At least you've tackled your problem head on and can move in 2015 feeling better. Well done.
Thanks for the support Guys, I'm pleased to say I've resisted any betting activity since self exclusion over a month ago 🙂 ..cant say its been easy but i'm confident I'm over the worst of it and hoping its plane sailing from here!
Congrats on your first month clean and it is true it does get easier.
BUT it's extremely important to keep the guard up and stay strong. I did 8 months then let my guard down and it can happen at any time.
Ultimately though it is possible to become clean, but it isn't an easy ride and will sometimes take extreme willpower along the way.
A month is a brilliant start and hopefully we'll see you posting 2 months, 3 months clean in the future.
Complacency is the enemy from now on. A lot people starting think "well one little bet won't hurt" etc etc.
Agree with the comments above. Like it or not this is with you in the background for life. Big Congrats on the first month. Don't let your guard down and don't go back. I relapsed after many years of not gambling so please don't think it can't happen. Never going back to that dark place again and neither will you.................Stay strong
This totally mirrors my story... Scary!!!! I won early then built up good winnings but just couldn't stop having one more win (or so I thought) to keep the profits going!! But I've had change my mind set now and be happy with what I've got. I used to just try and watch my phone in play constantly and I didn't realise how much of a zombie I'd become!! Barca goals, Real Madrid goals easy easy.. Or so I thought.. Even now I see games and bets that would come in.. But thankfully I'm resisting and actually starting to see what a bubble id got myself in... If only we could just bet on a Derby win or a Bournemouth goal and leave it at that??! If only.. Instead it's Pakistan/Thai leagues, Scandinavian teams then the big European stuff but that is our downfall!!! Hope you stick to your guns and replace looking at in play stuff with quality of life for you and those around you!! GOOD LUCK!!!
Hi itcloag,,,just like to say im with stepchange myself there absoultley amazing and very understanding.be honest with ur family .i did and got lots of support my hubby even came to GA with me every week.wishing u all the best in ur recovery
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