Hello All:
I am a new member from the US. I hope you guys don't mind me joining your forum, as your site was the first easy site I was able to access. I am 48. Been gambling since I was 17. In my earlier years, I was always broke, so I did not lose much because I didn't make much. In my earlier 20's I had maxed out all loans and credit cards, and then lost my job. I wind up filing for bankruptcy at the age of 22. I vowed never again to be in need of credit ever again. A hard lesson early that wind up paying off. Several years later I got married, and on occassion would gamble, but nothing as addictive as my early years. By now I was making good money and didn't feel the need to go out and blow my money. I was able to save a good sum in my retirement account, until I lost my job in my mid 30's. Feeling desperate, I took all my retirement amount and little by little, gambled it away. Over $125,000. I wasn't unemployed but for a few months. Getting back on track, I started saving back up and working on my retirement savings. Able again to save up another $100,000, after several years, I once again started gambling, even though I had a job. Little by little, I would take out of my retirment and savings and put back some in. This went on for another several years losing another $100,000 but still maintaining a healthy retirement balance. Fast forward to this year when I switched jobs. I started gambling even heavier. Having fantastic wins of $35,000 & $20,000 and several losses of $10,000 and $15,000 a night . Long story short, I lost all but $10,000 of my retirement. Which I now transfered to my wife. I am thankful that I have not lost my wife, house, and put my family in dire need. I have had a gambling problem for long long time. I have had so many quits and so many relapses. I feel so hopeless. I am usually one that people come to answers for, but today, I have none for myself. I feel Lost. Today is a hopeless day. I don't know if I am the worst of the gamblers because I have means to support it over the years, but in the end, it is all for not. I am now seriously considering filing papers for self-exclusion here in the US. I feel that is the last safeguard at my disposal, as I have already blocked credit card from casinos and limited my daily withdrawal limits. I don't know if there is any hope for me. I don't even know if anyone cares. I feel like a mice running around on one of those circle things. I have never told anyone this story. ...... Either way, thanks for letting me take up space. Kind Regards, AM
Pure_Justice we are all here fighting the same Evil so welcome!
We are big on self exclusion & any other roadblocks that you can put up to break the Time-Money-Location triangle as without all 3 you cannot gamble!
You may feel like this is your worse day but in truth, it can be your best! All is not lost, you are not seriously in debt, your wife has stood by you & by opening up a thread on here, you will find unwavering support from many...This dark day is the day you get yourself on the road to becoming gamble free for good, you just have to stay strong & believe in yourself!
Give yourself a gift this Christmas, recovery!
I care - ODAAT
Just to echo ODAAT's point, we are all in this battle together so welcome to the team!
You sound like a smart guy which is a good starting point even though this addiction affects people from all walks of life!
Stay strong, stay focused and keep posting, and most importantly remember you're not alone!
Thanks for the support ODAAT & Fighter_1. I am hoping that the gift of recovery will be my Christmas gift for years to come. I truly appreciate the response.
Have a Wonderful Gamble-Free Christmas!
Day 23 gamble free and still going. Cautiously optimistic, but tonight the urge is bad. Still don't feel like I have accomplished much. Waiting for the other shoe to drop when I have to do my taxes.
Well done on getting so far, as I've said before even a day or a week for a compulsive gambler is an achievement.
There will be urges even years down the line, but getting past them does become easier. Remember also that in the early days you'll need more support so post regularly and even if you don't always get a response you can be sure, people will still be willing you on every step of the way.
Good on you for heading straight here Pure_Justice...This is proof to everyone that you want to beat this & you can! Keep doing anything you can (sometimes, even just standing still & breathing will help) to fight these urges, they will pass & instead of feeling sick & disappointed, you will feel proud & strong!
23 days is a huge accomplishment to a compulsive gambler, so be proud! You will find a way to deal with your taxes when they arrive!
Keep fighting - ODAAT
Day 32 and still gamble free. Thanks for the encouragement Steve , ODAAT and those have posted previously. I still am Cautiously Optimistic, as I have yet to pay the piper, so to speak, with my taxes. I expect to owe $6k - $10k in taxes because of the money I pulled out. I will find out in March, which I guess is good, as I am hesitant spending any money. Thankfully I have the money to pay it off, but my safety net will be completely ruined. One battle at a time I guess. I am living like a hermit now. No frills of any sort. I fantasize about day 1000 of being gamble free, as that would be the longest I haven't gambled in 30 years. Only 968 days to go. Thanks everyone for your support.
Congrats again, PJ, you are doing brilliantly.
Just a few months of living like a hermit (I always say monk lol) and staying gamble free and it really will make a difference. I could see after 2 or 3 months, just how much I was wasting on gambling and it was a real spur on for me to quit permanently.
It was great to actually still have money in the bank on payday and within 6 months I could tell I was going to become debt free.
Here's to you, swapping one addiction for another, gambling for saving.
Keep us uptodate on how you are doing.
Steve1970 wrote: Here's to you, swapping one addiction for another, gambling for saving.
This sounds like one of the best ideas out there!
Thanks Emily and Steve.. I appreciate your posts and your replies.
I think that a great idea. Hopefully I will start the savings addiction soon, once I get finished paying the tax man. .
It is also good to know that I am not alone, and that others are in the fight with me. Thank You both for your support. I think I might give myself a goal that if I reach 1000 days gamble free, I will treat my wife and I to a trip to Paris and Rome. Lord knows with the money I spent, I could have been around the world several times. Maybe I might shoot for Day 500. We will see how quickly I can recover. Goals are important I think.
Thanks again 🙂
Goals are extremely important and at first, they should be 110% achievable, which keep the encouragement going, then the goals set, should gradually be more difficult. I started with a day goal, then a week, a month, then 2 months, 3 months, before eventually heading to 6 months and then 12 months.
After a few months, the money I saved, meant I started to set goals for savings and clearing debts.
I guess you have saving accounts in the US, just like we have in the UK, where you put money in, but getting it back out, isn't allowed until after a certain period.
One of the best things, I did when starting my gamble free journey, was to open an account, that had no card to withdraw money or pay for goods and also didn't allow me to just take the money out, without giving a months notice.
Having money on the fly available, was extremely tempting when the bills etc were paid.
Most gamblers, have money available to them if they work, as soon as they are paid. For me, it was a case of having say £1500 in wages, having bills etc of £800, but then spending £500 - £700 gambling. Then the credit credits, loans etc were used for me to have holidays and expensive electronics etc.
So instead on payday, I immeditely put money into my savings account. The result, left me with having enough to live on, having enough for the odd treat, but not having a few hundred extra, just to gamble away.
It is true, you can become addicted to saving, as after a while, you start to see it grow and don't want it to stop growing.
It seems completely unbelieveable at first, but I myself, now can't bear to see my savings go down, so even buying something that isn't essential, becomes a game of shall I, sharnt I, sometimes for weeks on end.
Hello Steve,
That is not a bad idea, with respect to savings. I am trying to do that in a round about way by increasing my retirement savings. They do have something smiliar like that in another form of savings without a card, they call it passbook savings. I am hoping to becoming more addicted to savings. I was estimating how much I owe the piper (tax man) and I estimated about $12K. I will feel better once that debt is paid. I file in the 2nd week of March.
Just dropping by to congratulate you on 44 days of winning 🙂
Rubbish to hear that your sums are worse than you 1st thought but great that you are in a position to pay it, most would not have realised where they were heading! Sounds like you are getting your head round your future 🙂
Keep winning - ODAAT
Hi hoping you are still enjoying being gamble free.
Future planning is very important, I realised at 38, if I didn't do something about the gambling I would never be able to retire or certainly not do anything when I retired.
Sounds like after March you can really get moving towards your goals, but being gamble free until then, will still make a difference.
Even if you feel your aren't seeing any changes, just think how worse it would be if you were still gambling.
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