Hi folks,
I started gambling when I was 18, I used to play a lot of online poker and never really considered it a problem then as I often made money and felt in control. Ten years later I am ready to admit I have quite a serious problem. Fortunatley I havn't racked up any debt or done anything bad like stealing but I've often allowed myself to spend 99% of my wages after bills on gambling. I don't know exactly how it happens as I can go long periods of time without gambling and being addicted to cigarettes I don't get cravings to gamble like I do with cigarettes. It's like I just go into a mad phase every now and then where I can't stop. I'll put £50 on a site and tell myself if I win the wahay if I lose then so be it, but then I redeposit and redeposit untill I am broke. When I do win I rarely get to keep it.
Three months ago I was really broke for reasons other than gambling and decided that I'd have a shot on a casino website with a tenner. I just wanted to win around fifty quid so I could afford f**s and nicer food for the remaining time till I got paid. I hit one of those progressive jackpots for £2600 and an hour later my transaction history on the site was Withdrawal: 2600 cancelled withdrawal 2600 withdrawal 1500 cancelled withdrawal 1500 withdrawal 100 cancelled withdrawal 100. I felt so sick that I'd won not only enough to get me through to payday but to buy a new car and then lost it all in 45 minutes.
I think it's time for me to try and pack it in because I think I'll end up sinking deeper and things getting worse along the lines. I've now proven to myself that the big score i'm chasing is possible but if I ever hit it I won't keep it.
Hi Jim
Welcome aboard. We have all been there.....the wins come, but then dwindle down to nothing and the chasing starts. You have come here for help - it is available. You are not alone, you are not a fool. Forget the losses, and move on with your life, treat every day as a fresh start and vow that 'today you will not gamble' its tough - but very doable. Before you know it gambling will be the irrelevancy in your life that it deserves to be.
Good luck with you journey and find something else to distract you or focus on when thoughts about 'a quick bet' come to mind.
Hi Jim4569
Welcome to the forum and it will be of great help to you
Yes keep focusing on what gambling has done and that transaction history. I sometimes used to write down what I had actually done to try and deal with it, There was no escaping what was written there and it sounded like utter madness trying to explain it to people.
You must let it go. Gambling is not for you. Obviously part of the complex addiction is delusion. Ive got a head full of stress and lucky clover comfort so was then ignoring all the facts about chance and odds.
I dont like losing so a next spin was easy to do. I then realised I was playing for the sake of playing anyway and it was the emotions of playing I was mainly after.
I dont agree with gambling but I am certainly not wired to handle it and these gambling dens know full well that machines and other forms of gambling bring out compulsive gambling in people.
Like many you have proved to yourself that you have no control. It isnt entirely your fault but you must stop now and put the blocks in place. This means that you get going and dont delay with self excluding everywhere and properly.
Youve seen the warning signs and it will totally ruin you if you think some casual willpower is enough. It isnt!
If you can tell people close you must do that. Its that serious Im afraid.
keep reading and taking part in the forum
Beat wishes from everyone on the forum
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