Coping with urges.

Hi GA11,

Underneath the first bit is a something on urges. It includes coping with them.

Exercise works for me. I do about two hours in the gym and then go swimming, Then I'm too knackered to think in any detail about gambling, I always advise people to get the OK from their GP before embarking on an exercise programme. Visiting relatives and friends is another (non gambling ones preferably). Gardening is another one if you can or allotment work. Going to the cinema is another one the longer the film the better. Reading a good thick book is another. Taking up hobbies that you'd dumped because of gambling or starting new hobbies.

Another good one is to post on and read The Forum. It's good to help people that have been in the same awful position as me. I'm sure there is a thread on The Forum devoted suggestions on keeping busy.

I've been "clean nearly" 80 days now. It's very much one day at a time. I've found if I keep myself busy during most of my free time that my urges have definitely become less and less. The real test is when you have some spare money after you get over the initial period of being skint. I find that I'm much happier now with having just a little money in the bank to call my own and not being "forced" into handing it over to the bookmaker.

Read this about urges. It was orginally posted by Phil on 2015 Challenge.

Coping with urges

A difficult week for some is coming and I hope we all get through it without any urges. However if you are struggling have a read of this. I found it here, https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/urges

How to cope with urges.

For many individuals, the crucial problem is coping with urges. In order to cope well with them, it is usually necessary to understand them accurately, rather than in the distorted manner of many addicts. Some common distortions about urges are that urges are excruciating or unbearable, that they compel you to use or act, that they will drive you crazy if you do not use or act, and that they will not go away until you use or act. Some individuals are confused enough about their own thinking that they have a difficult time identifying distinct urges, and simply think of themselves as behaving a certain way "because I like to."

In actuality, urges can be uncomfortable but they are not unbearable unless you blow them out of proportion; they do not force you to do anything (there have probably been many instances where you had an urge but did not act), they have not driven you crazy yet (and will not), each urge will go away if you simply wait long enough, and there are periods between urges which become increasingly longer if you stop.

Although during the initial days or weeks of abstinence or moderation, especially after a long period of daily addictive behavior, you may experience many urges of strong and even increasing intensity. Recovering addicts of all types report that urges eventually peak in frequency, intensity, and duration, and then gradually, with occasional flare-ups, fade away. How long it will take for urges to peak, and how rapidly they will subside, depends on many factors, including the specific addiction, the length of the addiction, how successful the program of abstinence or moderation has been, and the strength of the developing alternative lifestyle. However, as a very broad guideline, within six months to one year most addicts will report only feeble urges (for instance, one a week, lasting a few minutes, a 1 or 2 on a 10 point scale).

It is also crucial not to take responsibility for the occurrence of the urge, but only your response to it. It is normal for any addict to experience urges, and just because on Sunday you decide to stop does not mean that on Monday you will not have urges. The fact that urges occur does not indicate that your motivation is weak, but that your addiction is strong. Because all habits have unconscious components, of which the urge is one, it will take time for these to die away. What is within your control, however, is how you respond to the urge. An analogy could be made to someone knocking at your front door. All sorts of individuals might knock at your door, but it is up to you to decide with whom you will talk. Their knocking is not your responsibility, but to what extent you choose to speak with them is.

Specific techniques for coping with urges include the following:.

When an urge occurs, accept it, but keep it at a distance. Experience it as you would a passing thought, one which "comes in one ear and out the other". Detach yourself from it, and observe and study it as an outside object for a moment. Then return your attention to what you were previously doing. If the urge is intense, remember (and perhaps picture) your benefits of stopping/cutting back (which can be carried in your wallet or purse). Recall a "moment of clarity", a moment when changing your addictive behavior seemed almost without question the right course of action. Think your addictive behavior through to the end:

Best Wishes

Hi Chris, it's NT that has a thread on tips for keeping busy which has lots of suggestions. When simply standing still & breathing is not enough, try to set small challenges, go & make a cup of tea, find 10 things beginning with a certain letter, go through the alphabet with words, make yourself give it 5 minutes & then re-assess. Obviously, if the urges have not subsided after the set time, either re-visit the steps you have tried or give yourself new ones. If you distract yourself long enough, they will pass!

Breathing is a start. Long deep breathes. I find the urges came to me most when I was bored, and needed a rush of something. Couple of the suggestions posted above are very good.

You have to combat your urges on two fronts really. Your intellect and your physical drive.

On the intellcet, put into your mind all that you have accomplished by not gambling. Deep down, gambling is a losing proposition, if not at the time you are playing, it will be in the long run. There is never enough to win.

On the physical drive, you have to do something. Cup of tea as ODAAT suggested, walk with no money as you suggested, or something till the urge passes. And the urges will pass over time.

Hope this helps.