Crossroads

Hi Everyone

I'm completely new to Gamcare and this is my form of showing some real discipline and commitment towards quitting an addiction that has taken so much from me. After reading through a few threads i got the general over view of how great the light of the tunnel really is when you get through this.

Gambling has taken so much from me, regardless of the thousands of pounds I’ve lost it has damaged my confidence, numbed my feelings, tainted my view of the future and just straight up poisoned me. Dulling the real things in life that mean more to me than money ever will.

So here is my story, I’m a 25 year old guy with a good life, family, friends and job. I came so dangerously close to losing all these great things to gambling. It’s scary to think how I went back to something that nearly killed me!

I’ve been playing fruit machines since the age of 12 in snooker clubs, showing all characteristics of a problem gambler from the start (spending every last penny/chasing losses).

Then real problems started to arise as i hit 18 and this opened up the world of online gambling where the money was just numbers and no win was big enough. I’ve somehow held it together through this "war" as my career path has remained unscathed as I have completed University and built up a strong CV. I'm extremely proud of myself for this as there were countless occasions I nearly quit and address my addiction. I cannot express the mental anguish and despair it has caused me. I have hit the lowest end of the scale for mental health conditions, such as heavy medication, 2 failed suicide attempts, hospitalization in a secure unit, psychiatrists etc. To an outsider this may seem crazy as i had such a great childhood and upbringing. Just goes to show how evil and deadly gambling can be.

This brings me here today as I’m now at a crossroads. The more I look back the more it hurts and as the present goes i can salvage this if I draw a line now and take the right path. Currently I’m at the stage where I know enough is enough and I just want to be me again. I have to start looking after myself and give this problem the attention it deserves as opposed to hoping it passes by.

Any advice relative to my situation will be extremely appreciated and I will keep and active diary to show my dedication. These are the first few steps but they are the biggest so I will give them the respect they deserve.

Have a good day.

Sam