Hi, new to this.
I've been gf for 10 days, but this morning I nearly gave in. Have since banned myself off the site I was tempted to do 'just a tenner' on! I feel so upset with myself! I gave up gambling for a year and relapsed! Goodness knows why!? I'm hoping it gets easier, I keep thinking about the year I did and now back at square one. I suppose I just need to take one step at a time.
The biggest reason I stopped again is looking at my bank account, spending hundreds I can't afford each month. Then struggling to buy basic things like petrol, food etc..... I also am about to become debt free, which worries me as for the first time in many years I will have money. It's a scary thought that I could spiral out of control again. I just need to stay strong, I do find this site helpful, reading other stories are inspiring.
Hi there,
First of all congratulations on the 10 days GF. Above all, this is the most important thing so hold on to that.
As you mention 'just a tenner', it is never just a tenner, we're compulsive gamblers, no amount of money would ever be enough. I've relapsed on more than one occassion so don't feel you're alone in this. I find it does get easier through time, it's just ensuring that exact same desire you had on day 1 right the way through in your recovery. If we knew why it would be easy, we're compulsive gamblers, nothing is ever rational. Just as long as you get your head to the pillow without a gamble is a success, you can do it. Of course ensuring the relevant blockers are in place i.e software, handing over finances to close relatives/friends and attending your local GA sessions help massively.
Although finances are a huge part, the want to stop should be much more than that. It's the understanding that we are powerless to this addiction and we will always walk out losing. There's a reason l*******s has the words 'Lad' and 'Broke' in it's name! It appears you have an understanding there is a problem which is a good start. Use all the support you have around you, people are there to help/listen.
Almost being debt free puts you in a much better position than most other members on this site so take this as a very expensive life lesson. Again to re-iterate, it's small steps, nothing will change overnight. You've abstained for a year in the past and you can do that and so much more again. Just keep posting and share your feelings, people will never judge, just help.
Stay strong and take it one day at a time.
Andrew (Compulsive gambler 242 days GF)
Well done on the 5yr self exclusion xxformexx,, your a star!! The other Andy who's left a post for you is inspirational,, great words from a wise man! There seems to be alot of helpful, nice people on this site and I've only been here 1day!! I've posted on your page incase you don't see the message on my page for you just so you know I'm so happy you've found the strength to self exclude for 5yrs,, well done you!! 🙂
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