Hello I'm Lauren, 33 female, I have a gambling addiction(obviously that's why I'm here) . About 6 years ago it started on and off. Took complete hold of me 4 years ago and each month I was spending pretty much every penny of my wages on online slots! I've not been bad over the last year, still been using but I self excluded from most sites, left one open but put a 5 pound deposit limit per week on it and i was just sticking with that as a weekly "treat" . This last week I felt really depressed (currently going through a breakdown in my relationship and not knowing where to go in my life, my partner is quite verbally mean with his words and I don't feel happy in myself or my life at the moment *just to add I'm not suicidal by any means just feeling low*) so I upped my deposit limit to "No limit" . Within a few hours I've lost my whole months pay, same old story - council tax to pay, bills, car insurance ect. A friend owes me 100 pounds so hoping to get that back but that's not the point, I'm majorly disgusted with myself for letting this happen again, I'd stuck with my weekly bet for over a year and can't believe I've just fallen straight back into it. I think when I get depressed I feel the need to escape my life if that makes sense. Just been totally stupid.
Hi Lauren,
First of all welcome, you've understood you've needed some help/guidance and you've come to the right place. We are all compulsive gamblers so you're most certainly not alone. The story you portray is a very similar one to myself and many other individuals on the site, it does take you over and the idea of 'escapism' is a popular amongst many members. My poison was sports betting and live casino games. You seem familiar with self-exclusion so that is a good start. There are blockers you can put in place via the medium of Software (other members can help to advise specifics) which will help avoid any temptations you may have going forwards.
Thank you for sharing your current emotional feelings, I know this takes alot to open up. Depression is something that I myself also faced and took me to very dark places i.e. suicidal thoughts. What I found useful was to pick the phone up to someone to speak to. Whether that was an anonymous voice via the GC helpline or someone a little closer to home. I also found and still find the GA meetings useful to talk to people who understand what I'm going through and offer invaluable tips that have aided their recovery. We are all here to help and this is something you most certainly won't have to face alone.
The stories are all the same, we never walk out winners, only ever losers. It's positive you notice there's an issue here and are swiftly acting upon it. Think of it as an expensive learning lesson, the money is gone and that has to be forgotten now. There's no need to feel disgusted, you've taken a huge step in the right direction and it's only positive baby steps from here. For the record, you're not stupid, we're compulsive gamblers. Make a stance, put the blockers in place and you'll only yield positive results.
I would highly recommend someone close to you manages your finances and takes that strain off your shoulders at least for the short term. I found that very useful. Please keep coming back and share your progress as frequently as you please. Threads on the site offer invaluable tips and coping mechanisms which will help you along the way.
Most importantly stay strong. Each day get your head to that pillow without placing a bet, that's the real win. Here's the start to your positive future.
Andy J (Compulsive gambler 242 GF)
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